For A Few Dollars More

| Australia | Working | August 14, 2014

(I decide to shut down an account at the bank. The teller completes the transactions and gives me the balance of the account in cash. Later that day, there’s a knock at my door. My mother opens the door to see two police officers and an angry looking man in a suit demanding to see me.)

Police #1: “Were you in [Bank] today?”

Me: “Yes. What is this about?”

Police #1: “The bank manager here says that you took money.”

Me: “I closed an account; the teller gave me my balance.”

Manager: *shouting* “YOU TOOK MONEY! YOU STOLE IT!”

Me: “No. I only got what the teller gave me. I didn’t count it as it was so little.”

Police #1: “So little? How much is so little?”

Me: “I don’t know. I didn’t check the balance, but it was under $10.”

Bank Manager: “It was supposed to be $8 but you took $9.”

Me: “I had no idea the teller gave me $1 more.”

(I pull a dollar note out of my pocket. The manager snatches it.)

Bank Manager: *to police* “Aren’t you going to arrest him?”

Police #2: “HIM? H***, NO! You, on the other hand, have wasted valuable police time over a measly dollar. You were acting as if it was thousands. H***, I would have given you a dollar myself if I had known. And, it was the bank’s fault.”

(After apologising to me they took the red-faced manager out, promising to report him to his superiors.)

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Gives New Meaning To ‘Phone Bill’, Part 2

, | CO, USA | Right | August 8, 2014

(A customer calls in to a bank call center.)

Customer: “I need to make a deposit.”

Me: “I can certainly help you with that deposit. What do we need to deposit? Cash, check, money order?”

Customer: “I need to deposit money.”

Me: “What type of deposit? There are different ways to make a deposit depending on what you need to deposit.”

Customer: “I need to deposit cash.”

Me: “I can find you the closest ATM so you can make your cash deposit.”

Customer: “You mean I have to go somewhere to make the deposit?”

Me: “Yes, if you are depositing cash.”

Customer: “Well, can’t I just deposit it over the phone?!”

Me: No, I’m sorry. There is not a way to deposit cash over the phone.”

Customer: “What kind of service is this?” *click*

Related:
Gives New Meaning To ‘Phone Bill’

Fraudulent Claims

| UK | Working | August 7, 2014

Me: “I need to pull out £500 for my mum; she’s sick and can’t get here. I have her card and PIN but her daily limit from the cash machine is £250.”

Cashier: “You can’t make transactions on someone else’s account. That’s fraud.”

Me: “Okay, but she gave me her card and she can’t get here.”

Cashier: “Well you can always pull out £250 today and £250 tomorrow from the cash machine. That would work.”

Me: “Okay… Why can’t I do it over the counter? You use the PIN to verify the transaction.”

Cashier: “Because that’s fraud.”

Me: “So, it’s not fraud for me to get exactly the same amount out of the machine?”

Cashier: *fixing me with a hard stare* “Bank customers should NEVER reveal their PIN to ANYONE.”

Me: “But you just told me to get the money out of the machine…”

Cashier: “That’s FRAUD.”

Me: “Okay, then… Bye…”

(I got the money from the machine with no problem at all.)

Credited With Bad Advice

| Houston, TX, USA | Working | July 21, 2014

(We are a young married couple. Both of us employed and reasonably well paid, but my wife and I have hit some financial hardships due to unexpected medical bills. We go to a credit counseling service to see about consolidation and other services. After looking over our paperwork for a few minutes, the lady helping us speaks.)

Counselor: “Well, I see what the problem is.”

Me: “Uh, ‘problem?'”

Counselor: “Yes. You need to make more money.”

(We left.)

Knows No Better Than Letter

| OH, USA | Working | July 1, 2014

(I work correspondence for a department in a call center. I do both emails and letters, but I do them at different parts of the day. When an employee sends a letter or email request to the wrong place, it slows both me and their mail down. After several in the same day, I send a communication to my coworker to remind him of the procedure.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], please remember to send all letters to [letter inbox location].”

Coworker: “Some of them automatically go to [email inbox].”

Me: “Okay, which? I can get that fixed.”

Coworker: “All of the emails.”

Me: “But which letters?”

Coworker: “All of the emails. It’s just the way emails go.”

Me: “But which letters automatically go to [email inbox]?”

Coworker: “All of the emails.”

Me: “… I am not talking about emails. I am talking about letters. You know: print them out, fold them up, put them in envelopes?”

Coworker: “When I send an email letter, it goes to [email inbox].”

(At this point, I grabbed a letter off my desk, got up, and walked over to his desk to explain the difference between emails and letters. I wish it was the first time I had to explain something that simple to a coworker.)

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