This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 40

, | Manchester, England, UK | Right | April 21, 2015

(I work full time in a call centre for a major UK Bank.)

Me: “Hello, you’re speaking to [My Name]. How I can help?”

Customer: “I am mad about this!”

Me: “I am sorry to hear that. How can I help?”

Customer: “Well, frankly [My Name], I understand how you can justify this! You have ruined my day completely!”

Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Well, like I said, I don’t understand this. I spent all the money on my credit card and I cut it up. WHY DID I RECEIVE A BILL FOR IT?!”

(There is a long pause while I attempt not to laugh at this.)

Me: “You do realize that this is money you have borrowed from the bank? It is isn’t free money!”

Customer: “But why do I have to pay? I cut it up!”

Me: “That doesn’t invalidate the bill; this is an amount you have borrowed from the bank which needs to be repaid. Just because you throw it away doesn’t cancel the debt!”

(After several attempts to explaining to customer that she needs to pay and the customer screaming like a banshee:)

Customer: “But how will I pay this? Absolutely ludicrous. You people didn’t make aware of this at all! I thought it all ended if I just cut up the card. I shouldn’t have to pay this debt if I don’t have the card! I want to make a complaint about this.”

Me: “Okay, hold the line. I will put you through to complaints.”

(I could only imagine the pain the poor man went through on the other line, and I could only hope the customer learned a valuable lesson!)

 

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Birthing New Stupid

| RI, USA | Working | April 20, 2015

(I’ve recently gotten married and I took my husband’s name. I’m at the bank to update my name on my bank account. The teller goes through the standard questions, verifying my name and new address and then:)

Teller: “And is your date of birth still the same?”

(I just chuckle thinking she’s joking, until I notice she’s still staring expectantly at me.)

Me: “Umm, yes, that hasn’t changed.”

The Post Snail-Mail Generation

, | CA, USA | Working | April 9, 2015

(I work in a call center at a help desk for a bank, assisting representatives with problems and doing research. Often we get asked how systems work or how to find something. I’m in Colorado; the person calling is in California.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] help desk. This is [My Name]. How can I help today?”

Teller: “I’m trying to write a letter in Google but it’s not letting me.”

Me: “What do you mean, you’re trying to write a letter in Google?”

Teller: “I’m trying to write a letter to go with a check we’re returning to the client, but Google won’t let me do it.”

Me: “You need to use a word processor, not Google.”

Teller: “But I can type. Why won’t it let me write a letter?”

Me: “Let me just write that letter for you.”

Teller: “Then how will I get it? Will you drop it on my desk?”

Me: “I can email it to you.”

Teller: “Then how will the client get it?”

Me: “You can print it off and mail it to them with the check.”

Teller: “How do I mail a letter?”

(It just kept going like this for 10 minutes. Sadly, this is not the first or last time I’ve had to explain how to mail a letter.)

Banked That Day Off

| IL, USA | Right | April 7, 2015

(It’s the week of Thanksgiving. I am closing with my supervisor and another coworker. Please note that this particular coworker had an open to close shift that day and is very tired.)

Customer: *pulls up in the drive-thru* “Are you guys open on Thursday?”

Coworker: “No, we are closed for Thanksgiving. We will be open normal hours on Friday.”

Customer: “You guys should be open. What if someone needs money?”

Coworker: “Sir, will YOU be at the bank on Thursday?”

Customer: “Heck, no. I’ll be eating lots of food and spending time with my family!”

Coworker: “Exactly. And the rest of us want to do that, too. That’s why we’re not open. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Uh… no. I think I’m good.”

Coworker: “Enjoy your evening.” *customer drives off, coworker turns around to see the supervisor and me laughing our heads off*

Me: “That was great!”

Coworker: “Will I get in trouble for saying that?!”

Supervisor: “Heck, no! You tell ’em!”

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Losing Confidence Confidentially

| UK | Working | March 30, 2015

(My mother- and father-in-law, both retired, have a bad experience trying to open a joint account at a local branch of a particular bank. They spend two hours answering really personal questions about their finances which don’t seem to have any relevance: e.g. how much do you spend on food each month? The account isn’t even for a loan.)

Caller: “Hello, could I please speak to Mrs. [In-Law] regarding her recent experience with [Bank]?”

Father-In-Law: “She’s not at home right now. Would you like to speak to me about my experience as I was with my wife when we opened our joint account?”

Caller: “No, I’m sorry. I have to speak directly with Mrs. [In-Law] regarding her account.”

Father-In-Law: “Well, I’m afraid she’s not at home at the moment, so you can speak to me about the account as it is a joint account and I was there with her.”

Caller: “I’m afraid I can’t discuss that information with you as it’s confidential. When will Mrs. [In-Law] be home?”

Father-In-Law: “I’m afraid I can’t discuss that information with you as it’s confidential.” *click*

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