Grand Pa Versus Kaeng Pa
I went to a nearby Thai place for lunch because they are one of the only Thai places in town that serves my favorite dish. When I walked in today, the first thing I noticed was that the big menu boards behind the counter were gone. Since I knew exactly what I wanted, this didn’t matter, but it was a huge change to the space. When I got to the counter, I asked the server at the counter what was happening.
Server: “Oh, we are updating our menu because Grandma retired, so my Uncle wants to change everything.”
I’m a little nervous because – like I said – this is the only place in town that serves my favorite Thai dish.
Me: “Oh, is it a big change? And how is it working while you’re still open with no menu?”
Server: “Uncle is just making some changes, it won’t be too much, I’m sure. Most people are just ordering Pad Thai and Drunken Noodles because that’s all they can remember. So, what do you want?”
Me: “Do you have Kaeng Pa still?”
Server: “Oh yeah, that was Grandpa’s specialty. He taught all his boys to make it, I’m sure it’s still on here.”
She starts scrolling on her touchscreen and begins to look confused. Then she calls back to the kitchen in Thai. A harried-looking man comes out of the kitchen, and she starts talking to him rapidly in Thai.
I only speak English, and enough Spanish to be polite, but I do hear them both say “Kaeng Pa” once or twice. I begin to worry that my favorite dish may no longer be available. Then the server calls another man over who has been sitting in the back of the dining room. He comes over and they fill him in and gesture at the touch screen, which I can only assume is their POS and does not include Kaeng Pa.
The man from the Kitchen and the man from the dining room start yelling at each other, and the server gives me a look like, “these guys are such dorks,” like I have any idea what is going on. At this point, the man from the kitchen is yelling “Kaeng Pa” followed by several other words that I do not know, and the dining room man has thrown his hands up and is repeating a shorter phrase.
Finally, Kitchen Man turns to me:
Kitchen Man: “What meat do you want? And how spicy?”
Me: “Uhm… tofu? And extra spicy… with jasmine rice?”
Kitchen Man: “Okay, I’ll make you spring roll too, to cool your mouth after you eat.”
Kitchen Man storms back into the kitchen.
Server: “Uhm, Uncle, how should I ring it in?”
Dining Room Man: “It won’t ring up! I guess it’s f****** free!”
Server: “Okay.” *To me.* “It should be ready in about fifteen minutes.”
I tipped a $10 and sat as far from Dining Room Man as I could. It wasn’t until I finished my (absolutely spectacular) meal and got back in my truck that I realized this was the first and only time I might ever see “It won’t ring up, it must be free” work in real life.