Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Perhaps The Wolves Are Still Available To Babysit Tonight…

, , , | Right | March 23, 2009

Customer: *with child in tow* “Excuse me, do you work here?”

Me: “Yes, can I help you find something?”

Customer: “There’s no one in your children’s department.”

Me: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “There’s usually one of you people in the kids’ department.”

Me: “Yes, our lead children’s zoning person called out today.”

Customer: “Well, then, just who is supposed to watch the children?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, what do you mean?”

Customer: “Who’s going to watch the children? I leave my little girl over there while I shop, and I expect someone to watch her.”

Me: “…”

Customer: In your children’s department. The DAYCARE.”

Me: “Ma’am… we don’t have a daycare.”

Customer: “…” *walks away*

Introducing The Xbox Air

, , , | Right | March 23, 2009

(It is the holiday season that the Xbox 360 comes out.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I would like to purchase the ‘Box 360.'”

Me: “Oh, the Xbox 360. Well, unfortunately, we do not have any more left in store to sell you.”

Customer: *pointing at display box* “Then what is this? Are you lying to me? Is it because I’m old that you think you can get away with this?!”

Me: “No, ma’am. Those boxes are for display purposes only.”

Customer: “Well, I want one right now.”

Me: “We don’t have any in stock, but I can special order one for–”

Customer: “Now, listen here, you idiot! I see this box right here and I want to buy my son the Box 360!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t sell you a display box. The only thing I can do is special order you one. However, I can guarantee it will be there before Christmas.”

Customer: “I will take this Box 360 and I am not paying for it!”

(The customer suddenly throws the display box, resulting in security coming over.)

Me: *to the little boy with her* “Is she usually like that?”

Little Boy: “Yes, and if she would listen, I wanted a PS2!”


This story is part of the Christmas Day roundup!

Read the next Christmas Day roundup story!

Read the Christmas Day roundup!

Now Serving: Poopsicles

, , | Right | March 19, 2009

(We’re nearby a retirement community. An old man who looks lost wanders into our grocery store.)

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Old Man: “Yes, I’m looking for the bathroom… Oh, here it is!”

(He opens a freezer door and proceeds to pull down his pants.)

Me: “SIR, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

(The old man takes a dump right in the freezer.)

Old Man: “That’s cold… Where’s the toilet paper?”

Me: “I really, really, really need a break!”

(Sadly, this was not the first time this happened.)

Inconvenience Saves The Day

, , , , | Right | March 18, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] Pay Per View. This is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Uh, yeah… I, uh, used up all my credit, and I need you to give me some more.”

Me: “You can purchase credit on our website, or through the automated system on the phone. Would you like assistance with either of those?”

Customer: *yelling* “NO! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?! YOU SAYING I’M STUPID?!”

Me: “Um, no… I was just offering to–”

Customer: “WELL, NOW I WANT IT FREE! I DEMAND £20 FREE CREDIT!”

Me: “I can’t just hand out free credit like that; that’s not how it works. If you have a complaint, I can transfer you to that department–”

Customer: “NO!” *suddenly quiet* “Where is your office located?”

Me: “We’re in [Location].”

Customer: “RIGHT! I’M GONNA COME DOWN THERE AND F*** YOU UP! I KNOW YOUR NAME, F***HEAD! I’LL F****** FIND YOU!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Wait, where is [Location], exactly?”

Me: “Um… about an hour out of the city by bus or car.”

Customer: “What?! Really? That far? Nah… I’ll probably leave it so. Thanks anyway. Bye.” *hangs up*

Ed Begley Jr. Starts To Cut Back

, , , | Right | March 11, 2009

Me: “Would you like paper or plastic?”

Customer: “Oh, I’d like one of those nice canvas bags, please.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You know, one of those reusable canvas bags. Like the ones that she’s got!” *points to the next customer in line*

Me: “Uh, well, we don’t have those here, unfortunately. All we’ve got is paper or plastic. If you want a canvas bag, you’d have to buy one and bring it yourself.”

Customer: “What a load of crap! Why should I want to save the environment if I have to pay to do it?!”


Did you find this story on our World Environment Day roundup?

Click here to go to the next story!

Click here to go back to the roundup!