(Two women come into my shop looking for dresses. I help [Customer #1] find one, and while she tries it on, I help [Customer #2] look for a dress for herself. [Customer #1] comes out of the dressing room to get our opinion on the dress, and although the dress fits well, the hem is up past her knees, and it is not flattering. I am always honest with my customers, preferring they look their best rather than just making a sale, so I suggest she tries something longer.)

Me: “The hemline on that one is not very flattering; let’s try a longer style.”

Customer #1: “You don’t like the dress?”

Customer #2: “The dress looks great, but your knees are ugly!”

(The convenience store where I have been working for about a year and a half is sold and the new owner decides to keep me for my regular opening shift. I am glad to have new bosses because the last boss/owner was hard to work for and one of the other employees never did anything because she was friends with the owners. This story happens about two weeks after the new bosses take over.)

Boss: “Somebody has been bringing all their garbage and throwing it in our dumpster after we close. Let’s go out here and go through the bags and see if we can find some mail or something with their name on it.”

Me: “Okay, do we have any gloves?”

Boss: “No, just wash your hands when we’re done.”

(We go to the dumpster and open several bags, going through them and getting really nasty and wet doing it. Finally, after about twenty minutes of searching, we get a clue.)

Me: “Here’s an empty cigarette carton.”

(It’s a brand that we only sell to one customer. She’s in once a week to get two cartons of those cigarettes.)

Me: “It has to be her. Nobody else buys these.”

Boss: “Maybe, but just to be sure, keep looking.”

(We dig through bags for about ten more minutes when my boss finds something.)

Boss: “Here it is. It’s [Regular Customer] mail with her name on it.”

Me: “Good, are we done? Her brand of cigarettes and her mail. Are you going to tell her to stop?”

Boss: “No, better not. She spends a lot of money here. I’ll figure out something.”

(After all of the crap we went through and as dirty as we got, then he decided to let it go. After three more weeks of her filling our dumpster, he finally got a lock and that solved the problem. I worked for him for another year before I finally quit.)

(My seven-year-old daughter was recently tested for ADHD, which means she and I have to go back to the psychiatrist’s office two weeks later to review the results. While I am talking with the psychiatrist, my daughter is sitting on the floor playing with an Etch-a-Sketch. The psychiatrist is explaining to me that although my daughter does now have an ADHD diagnosis, she wasn’t able to specify a subtype. Specifically, the tests are less accurate with exceptionally bright children because if a task is designed to take ten minutes but the child solves the problem in two, the test is only able to measure two minutes’ worth of attention span instead of the ten it was supposed to.)

Psychiatrist: “So, it’s clear that your daughter’s brain is working on a different level than her teacher expects–”

Daughter: *interrupting* “Mom, look! Can you guess what I drew?”

(She’d gotten almost the entire Etch-a-Sketch screen to be black.)

Me: “Um… a black bear at night?”

Daughter: “MOM. No, it’s the void! And now I’m going to magically make the void disappear…” *shakes Etch-a-Sketch* “There, now I’ve deleted that dimension.”

Psychiatrist: “So, as I was saying… different level.”

This story is part of our celebration of Not Always Right publishing over 100,000 stories!

This story is included in the roundup of Not Always Healthy stories to toast this achievement!

<< Previous Story  |  Roundup  |  Next Story >>

(I’m a cashier at a big-box hobby type store where we also sell home decor items, as decorating is apparently a hobby. The store I work for has weekly sales in home decor where specific groups of items are 50% off. While we are a large national chain, we do not scan any items in and instead hand-key every item and apply discounts to sale items as needed. Because of this, and because I have been with the company for a few years now, I have all the sales memorized as they are on a rotating schedule. Being a cashier, I am no stranger to crazy experiences, but this one left me speechless. It’s five minutes before my shift ends and an older woman, her adult daughter, and her young granddaughter decide my line is the best to come through. They have four carts that are absolutely full of items from our home decor section, and most of the items they have chosen to purchase that day happen to not be on sale. I’m ringing through the items when I get to a huge wall clock that is fairly pricey; it is also not on sale.)

Customer: “No, that clock is supposed to be on sale this week! I need you to give me half off for it.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, it was actually on sale last week, so maybe there is a chance one of the signs was left up from last week. Let me call my department head, and if the sign was left up from last week I will be more than happy to give you the discount as that was our error.”

(The department head informs me that there is a sign on the end of where the clocks are, but it is not for the clocks and it does not say anything about clocks on it.)

Me: “Ma’am, my department head has let me know that the sign you saw is actually for the items on display on the end cap and not for the clocks. If you would like, I can take the clock off the ticket for you.”

Customer: *almost yelling at me* “No, I want this clock! But you still need to give me the half-off discount. It’s not like I actually read the sign. I just saw the sign said 50% off, so I figured that it was for the clocks.”

Me: “I’m sorry for the misunderstanding, but as the sign does not actually say clocks on it, I cannot give you the discount for the clock.”

Customer: “Well, that’s just stupid, I don’t understand why I can’t just get the discount. It’s not my fault I didn’t actually read the sign. I just saw it near the clocks, so it had to be for the clocks.”

(I’m a little thrown. I’ve had this type of misunderstanding happen before, but normally, once I explain to customers about what the sign actually says, they understand. Luckily, before I say something I regret, the customer’s daughter decides to speak up.)

Daughter: “Mother, what is your problem? You’re making yourself look like a fool. Now, either get the clock or don’t, but let this nice lady do her job. It’s your fault you didn’t read the d*** thing, not hers.”

(I smiled and mouthed, “Thank you,” to the daughter and finished out the transactions they all had, with no more incidents as the daughter had decided to take over for the mother. The daughter continued to tell me how nice and courteous I was. By the time I was done ringing up all four carts, they had spent in excess of $2000 and it was 20 minutes past time for me to clock out.)

(I work in a grocery store deli. A mother and two kids, probably around 11 and 8, walk up to the hot bar. The customer’s kids are each demanding their mom get them something from the hot bar. After they go back and forth for a few moments, the customer finally orders.)

Customer: “I want some macaroni.”

Me: “Okay, what size would you like? Small or large?”

Customer: “Do you have a medium?”

Me: “No, ma’am.” *reaches for the cups to show her the size, now holding up both cups* “Just small and large, 8 and 16 ounces.”

Customer: “Which one is bigger?”

Me: *losing faith in humanity while I hold the large cup a little higher* “The large.”