(I’m working on the till at a small supermarket when a woman walks up with her basket of shopping. I notice that she’s with a young boy, who can’t be older than about 11 and he’s browsing some shelves nearby. I’m ringing up her shopping, when I come to a gaming magazine which is currently running a feature on a popular war game. As I scan it, a warning pops up on my till, asking me to verify the customer’s age.)

Customer: “How much is that? If it’s too expensive, I won’t get it for him.” *she gestures to the young boy*

Me: “Well, it’s [price] but this magazine is only suitable for people over the age of 18 and as you’ve just told me you’re buying it for him, I can’t sell it to you.”

Customer: “What?! Well, it’s not for him.”

Me: “No, I’m sorry; you’ve just said that it’s for him. I really cannot sell you this.” *I put the magazine to one side*

Customer: “Well, that’s ridiculous. It’s for his older brother; he’s at home and he’s 18!”

Me: “You’ve told me that you’re buying this for a child, so our store will not sell this to you.”

(The customer huffs and argues a bit more, as I ring up the rest of her shopping. I read her the total.)

Customer: “So, you’re really not going to sell that to me?”

Me: “That’s right.”

Customer: “Well, I’m just going to have a terrible night with him now! He’s going to be a nightmare!”

(The boy comes over to the till and asks the woman if he can have his magazine.)

Customer: *to the boy* “No! This lady says that you can’t have it!”

Me: *to the customer* “Well, the reason that it’s not suitable for children is that the content of the magazine, just like [Game featured in the magazine] is extremely violent. That’s actually why they’ve put it in a plastic cover; because the images in the magazine are too graphic for children.”

(The customer blushes profusely and looks ashamed. She stays silent as she pays for her shopping.)

Customer: *as she’s picking up her bags* “Just… so… you know, I don’t let him play those horrible games. I’m not a bad mother!”

(She scurried out of the store with the child!)

(We are an online-only store, and only have one option available for shipping, which is added automatically at the checkout. A repeat customer who has caused us problems before emailed in stating:)

Customer: “I do not believe in paying for shipping any more. I have been trying to delete it from my basket but there is no option for it. Remove it for me!”

Me: “Nope.”

(Our province has two area codes which divide the province into zones. A third area code is added to one of the zones which means that people in that zone can no longer use seven-digit local dialing, and have to use the area code for ten-digit local dialing instead. There has been a fair amount of advertising of this new protocol. I am working as a telephone operator.)

Caller: “I’m trying to make a call and it won’t go through.”

Me: “Ah, yes. What is happening is that a new area code has been added and now you have to dial all 10-digits of the telephone number including the area code for local calling.”

Caller: *angrily* “NO, I don’t have to dial the area code!”

Me: “…”

(I think for a moment.)

Me: “Well, ultimately you ARE right. You don’t have to dial the area code. Unless of course you want your calls to go through.”

Caller: “F*** you, a**-hole!” *click*

(I am waiting on a table of two ladies and go to check and see if they needed anything.)

Me: “Is there anything else that I can get for you at the moment?”

Customer #1: “I’ve been waiting for my drink for ten minutes! It shouldn’t take that long to get a drink!”

Me: *confused* “I’m sorry. Your water is right there on the table.”

Customer #1: “I know where my water is! I’m not stupid! I’m waiting for my soda!”

(I know she didn’t order a soda but as a waiter I have to go along.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I didn’t realize you ordered a soda.”

Customer #2: *speaking to [Customer #1]* “You didn’t order a soda…”

Customer #1: “Yes, I did! I ordered a soda and you still haven’t brought it!”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am. I’ll get it for you right away. What soda did you order?”

Customer #1: “Mountain Dew! I ordered a Mountain Dew!”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t even have Mountain Dew here.”

Customer #1: “Oh… well then, I ordered a Coke!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am.”

(The other lady gave me an apologetic look before I went to get the drink. Once I got to the kitchen I laughed and shrugged it off.)

(I am manning a self-checkout area with eight registers, three of which are down with mechanical problems. A line is forming six or seven people deep waiting to get into self-checkout. Meanwhile, several regular registers nearby are open, some of which have one or two customers, and some which are completely empty.)

Me: *announcing to the line* “Folks, self-checkout is a little backed up right now, but there are several other registers open that may be able to check you out faster.”

Customer: *fifth in line* “But they have lines!”