(We sell scooters out the back of our general store. They range from mobility scooters to larger motorbikes. We have one elderly customer who comes back to look at them several times before this happened.)

Customer: “I’d like to buy this bike.”

Manager: “Sir, it’s a very powerful bike. I think you’d be better off with something a little more gentle.”

Customer: *getting angry* “No! I want this bike! Is it against the law for me to buy it?”

Manager: “No, it’s not against the law, but I’d just advise against it. I think you’d have difficulty controlling it as it is quite heavy.”

Customer: “Are you saying I’m too old to buy a bike?”

Manager: “No, sir, I would just advise you to get a smaller scooter. You may find that this bike is quite dangerous for you.”

Customer: “You have to sell me this bike!”

Manager: “All right, sir. Would you like to buy a helmet as well?”

Customer: “Hmm… how much are they?”

Manager: *quite low price*

Customer: “That much?! I’m not buying one of those!”

Manager: “I really would suggest you buy one if you want to legally take it out on the road…”

Customer: “Fine, fine!”

(A week later, he came back in… with his arm bandaged up.)

Customer: “You need to give me a refund right now!”

Manager: “Uh, sir, what was the problem?”

Customer: “You sold me an unsafe bike! I want my money back!”

(Turned out, the first time he tried to ride the motorbike he lost control and fell off because it was too heavy and powerful for him. The manager ended up giving him a partial refund and paying for the repairs with the rest.)

(We have a tour group in house. They are riding a bus across the country. The bus driver is also staying here.)

Bus Driver: “Please! Help!”

Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Bus Driver: “I left the lights on the bus all night long and the battery’s dead!”

Me: “Ah. Well… shall I call a towing service?”

Bus Driver: “No! I have to get these people to [Location three states away] in 5 hours and so I need your car! Do you have a car?!”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but I can’t leave the desk. You’ll have to find another way to jumpstart your bus.”

Bus Driver: “Give me your keys! Keys! Now!”

(He went nuts, and I kept refusing to help him with his bus with my car. Then he started asking other guests for help. They all looked at him like he was mad and said no. The towing service was called and finally helped him with his bus, and he had to explain, red-faced, what happened to his passengers. Most of them were understanding.)

Me: *answers phone* “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Who is this?”

Me: “This is [My Name].”

Customer: “But who am I calling?”

Me: “[Bank].”

Customer: “Well, I wanted to call [Other Bank].”

Me: “Um… okay?”

Customer: “Give me their number!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is [Bank]. I don’t have the other bank’s number.”

Customer: “Can’t you just transfer me?!”

Me: “No, ma’am. Again, this is [Bank].”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you can’t just transfer me! I want to talk to [Other Bank]!”

Me: “There’s no way for me to transfer you. I don’t have their number because we are not that bank.”

Customer: “Fine! When I talk to [Other Bank] I will file a complaint about you!” *hangs up*

(I overhear this while at a coffee shop with a friend.)

Cashier #1: ‘Sorry, but we only carry that one style. I understand you’re left-handed but it shouldn’t—”

Customer: “I’m not left-handed! Your cup is left-handed! I need a right-handed cup!”

Cashier #1: “Oh, I see. Well, that cup is the only style we carry so it should work with any hand.”

Customer: “No! It’s not right! I need a right-handed cup! I’m not left-handed. I can’t use a left-handed cup!”

Cashier #1: “Okay, well, it should work with both left and right hand—”

Customer: “But it doesn’t because it’s a left-handed cup and I need a right-handed cup!”

Cashier #2: “Do you need any help?”

Customer: “Yes! You sold me a left-handed cup and I’m right-handed! I need a right-handed cup.”

Cashier #2: “You can use that cup with any hand, sir.”

Customer: “No, you can’t! This is a left-handed cup! I need you to get me a right-handed cup.”

Cashier #2: “Okay, sure. But before that, can I see your cup?”

Customer: “Fine. Here. See? It’s a left-handed cup.”

Cashier #2: “Well, let me try… Well, it seems fine with my right hand.”

Customer: “But the handle is on my LEFT side!”

Cashier #2: “Well, let’s try turning the cup this way and try holding it now with your right hand. Is that okay, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah… That seems fine.”

Cashier #2: “Good. Is there anything else that I can help you with?”

Customer: “No, no. I’m good… Did you know this before?”

Cashier #1: “Yes, I knew.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I didn’t know you could use it with any hand, you see. I didn’t know.”

Cashier #2: “Yes, I see. Well, that’s okay. Now you know.”

Customer: “Right. But I didn’t know at first. I didn’t know you could just turn the cup around.”

Cashier #2: “Right. That’s okay. Is there anything else?”

Customer: “No, it’s okay. I’m good now. I just didn’t know that this cup worked with both right and left hands.”

Cashier #2: “Well, I’m glad we’ve helped you figure it out. Have a nice night.”

Customer: “Yeah, you, too. I just didn’t know you could use the cup that way.”

(I was at work and a customer was looking at heaters.)

Me: “Can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “Yeah. Which one of these heaters makes heat that doesn’t rise?”

Me: “I’m pretty sure that’s not possible, so none of them.”

Customer: “What do you mean it’s not possible?”

Me: “I’m pretty sure the laws of nature make heat rise all of the time.”

Customer: “You have an awful product knowledge! I want to talk to a manager!”