Not Even Remotely Rocket Science

(I work doing tech support for a company that makes satellite dishes for RVs and campers. This is the first call of the day. Here are some snippets of conversation I had with him. These quotes are VERBATIM. He’s in the guide.)

Me: “Exit out of the guide.”

Customer: “What do you mean, ‘exit out of the guide’?”

Me: “Hit the exit or back button.”

Customer: “What do you mean, ‘hit the exit or back button’?”

Me: “What model receiver do you have?”

Customer: “What do you mean, ‘what model receiver do I have’?”

Me: “Okay, is your remote silver and black or just solid black?”

Customer: “Solid black.”

Me: “Okay, you have a [receiver]. In the upper left corner, hit the back button”

Customer: “There’s only a menu and input button over there.”

(He’s describing the other type of receiver remote, which is called a ‘211.’)

Me: “Okay, you have a 211. Your remote is silver and black.”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s silver and black.”

(I get him to finally exit out of the guide.)

Me: “Okay, please hit 1-4-0 on the remote control.”

Customer: “What do you mean, ‘hit 1-4-0 on the remote control’?”

(ARE YOU KIDDING ME? It’s not rocket science, man. After fifteen minutes, I got him to the screen with the phone number he needed to call to fix his problem.)