(I work for a travel company on one of the heavily touristic Greek islands. This day I am working at the airport helping our customers as they are checking in for their flight back to their home country. The luggage limit is 20 kg per person. A family of three is checking in and a member of the Greek airport staff calls me over and tells me that she needs me to explain the rules about overweight luggage to the customer. Usually this means translating from English to the customer’s language.)

Me: *in the customer’s language* “Hello. What seems to be the problem?”

Man: *completely beetroot red in his face* “They –” *the check-in personnel* “– are telling us that we have 10 kilos overweight!”

(Usually the charge for extra kilos is almost 10 euros per kilo, so it can get quite expensive fast.)

Me: “How much weight do you have at the moment?”

Man: “70!”

Me: “Well, yes, the allowed limit is 20kg per person.”

Man & Woman: *screaming simultaneously* “YES, BUT WE ARE THREE PERSONS!”

Me: “Yes… and that means your total weight can be 60 kg. So you do indeed have 10 kg overweight”

Man: “WE HAVE EXACTLY THE SAME AMOUNT OF LUGGAGE NOW AS WE DID WHEN WE LEFT AND THEY DID NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT!”

Me: *with a sinking feeling of here-we-go-again-with-this* “I see. Unfortunately that is a mistake on their part and they are known to be quite inattentive when it comes to the weight limits, whereas here on [Greek Island] they are known for being extremely strict with the limits.”

Man: “THAT IS NOT MY PROBLEM. THAT IS A MISTAKE ON YOUR STAFF IN SO IT’S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!”

Me: *thinking how on earth could I possibly control staff that does not actually work for us and are located almost 4000 km away from us* “Again, I am sorry, but they are very strict with the limits and—”

Man: “I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO PAY FOR THIS! THIS IS RIDICULOUS. THEY DID NOT TELL US AND NOW SUDDENLY THEY HAVE JUST DECIDED TO TAKE THE MONEY FROM ME. I WILL. NOT. PAY. FOR. THIS.”

Me: *starting to get fed up with this childish attitude but still remaining polite* “Well, I’m am sorry you feel this way, but unfortunately you don’t have a choice in the matter. Either you pay or you don’t board the flight.”

(The man keeps repeating the above things over and over again with his wife backing him up. Meanwhile their child, who looks about eight, is just sitting on their bags, looking sad.)

Man: “FINE. I will pay for it, but you can be d*** sure that I will claim the money back when I get home! This will not be the end of this!”

Me: “Would you like to have the email address to our reclamation-department?”

Man: “YES!”

Me: *writing down the address on a piece of paper* “You can send your claim to this email and in case you lose this piece of paper, you can always find it again from [our website].”

Man: *taking the paper* “This is the worst service I have ever had! This has never happened to us before! I am NEVER flying with this company again!” *to the check-in staff, in English* “How much is the cost?”

Airport Staff: “You must take this note to the office over there.” *pointing the location, about 50 meters away, but clearly visible* “They will tell you the price as there can be changes to it. When you come back, you don’t have to stand in line anymore, but you can come straight to the counter and we will finalize the check-in procedure.”

Man: *in his language to me* “I AM NOT STANDING IN LINE AGAIN WHEN I COME BACK WITH THIS!”

Me: “No, of course you don’t have to do that. As the check in person just told you, you can simply just pass the queue when you come back.”

Man: *storms off*

(The woman stays behind with the child, but steps aside and I am standing quite close to them, but not engaging her very much because I have grown aggravated with their, frankly, childish behavior. Meanwhile, my colleague and friend who works for our sister company engages the woman because she has even less tolerance for this kind of behavior than I do.)

Woman: *just repeating what they have been saying again and again and adding another gem* “Well, fortunately there are other tour companies so we won’t have to travel with you guys ever again.”

My Colleague: “The weight limits are mentioned very clearly in the travel rules and they are also in your ticket…”

(They later said that their daughter had gotten car sick because the bus that had brought them to the airport, provided by our company of course, had been taking “some d*** scenic route instead of driving straight.” For the record, there is precisely one route that the buses take on their way to the airport and it’s definitely not a “scenic” route. But this did not stop these two from not only complaining about it but also ENCOURAGING THEIR OWN CHILD TO TRY AND THROW UP ON THE AIRPORT FLOOR IN FRONT OF HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE because they were angry at us. So, yes, please do choose another company to travel with in the future. It’s not that we think that we have too many customers. It’s just that we prefer that our customers A) have basic decency, B) know how to read, write, and count or at least listen, and C) don’t use their own *children* as biological weapons.)

(I am a customer in line at a pharmacy. A mother and her two young boys are ahead of me. One of the young boys is sitting on the floor pointing at random medicines.)

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s for an itchy head.”

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s for when you can’t sleep.”

(The boy then points at the pregnancy tests.)

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s to see if you have a baby growing inside of you!”

(The boy then stands up and gets back in line with his mother.)

Mother: *to me and the pharmacist* “Thank god he didn’t point at the condoms!”

This story is part of the Adorable Kids roundup!

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(I work in the in-store bakery of a major supermarket in the UK. One of the things we do is slice our fresh-baked loaves for customers. Unfortunately, our bread slicer broke a few days ago and we are waiting for a replacement part, so we can’t use it. A customer comes to the service door. She looks to be in her late thirties, while I am nineteen.)

Customer: *thrusting bread in my direction* “Excuse me, can you slice this for me?”

Me: *walking over to her* “I’m terribly sorry, but our slicer is broken. We’ve been unable to slice bread since Wednesday afternoon.”

(The customer leans to the side.)

Customer: “I can see the slicer right there. Slice it for me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I know the slicer is there but, as I said, it’s broken. It cannot be used.”

Customer: *huffing* “You people are all the same; your generation is so lazy! All I’m asking you to do is slice this loaf. That’s not so hard.”

Me: “Again, I would love to slice it for you, but I can’t. The bread slicer is out of order. We’re waiting for a part that needs to be ordered directly from the manufacturer.”

Customer: “Look, let me make this simple: you either slice this bread instead of being so lazy, or I get your manager.”

Me: “Our manager knows the slicer is broken. He was the one who had to authorise us ordering the part. You can speak to him if you like, but he’ll tell you the same thing.”

Customer: “Well, this is disgusting! All I want is to get some bread sliced and you’re refusing.”

Me: “I’m not refusing; I just can’t slice bread on a machine that is broken.”

Customer: “There you go with those lazy excuses. You know in the time you’ve made all your lies you could have sliced this bread!”

Me: “Madam, I really don’t know what to tell you. The machine is broken; it needs a specific part replaced and it’s going to take time to get here. In the meantime, we can’t use the machine. If I could slice your bread, I would. But I can’t.”

Customer: “Well, get a bloody knife and cut it for me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s not something I can do.”

Customer: *smiling triumphantly* “See, your machine isn’t really broken! If it was, you’d have said yes.”

Me: “Not really. We don’t have any knives suitable to slice bread in here. Plus, if you’re going to cut it with a knife, you’d be better off doing it at home.”

Customer: “Fine. Let’s see what your manager has to say about this. I hope you enjoy being unemployed!”

(The customer leaves. My manager does not come over. I decide to make up a few temporary paper signs to put around the bakery aisle to inform customers of our technical difficulties. We didn’t before because all our other customers understood, even if they were a little disappointed. After I put the sign up, I notice the woman is skulking about in the bakery aisle. I wonder what she is up to, so as I put up the signs, I keep an eye on her. Then, an elderly couple, probably in their seventies or older, picks out one of our baked-in-store loaves, and the woman practically jumps on them.)

Customer: “You know they refuse to cut these now? Their staff can’t be bothered. They’re hiring all these young, uneducated people who are too lazy to cut it for us! I tell you, this generation is so lazy!”

(The couple stare at her and then me.)

Elderly Woman: “Oh.” *points to signs I just put up* “Their slicer is broken, deary. I guess you’ll have to make do like my generation did without the luxury of electric slicers and cut it yourself at home with a bread knife instead of being lazy and relying on somebody else to do it for you.”

(The customer was speechless. She turned bright red and left without a word. It made my day.)

(I am a temp for a large mobile services provider, in a call center dedicated to the provider’s loyalty program. Every summer they would give out free books, movie tickets, etc. on particular dates for all paying customers. The caller in this call was around 40 years old.)

Me: “Hello, you’ve reached [Provider]’s loyalty program. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “I want the free movie.”

Me: “I’m sorry, Madam, but the free movie offer ended last week. We have a free book offer this week—”

Caller: “No, I don’t want any books. I just want the free movie you promised.”

Me: “Again, Madam, I’m sorry, but that offer is now over.”

Caller: “But I didn’t know about it on time!”

Me: “Well, Madam, that’s unfortunate, but you’re welcome to take advantage of the offers we still have—”

Caller: “No. You will give me a free movie! Make an exception! Talk to your manager!”

Me: “Madam, we cannot make an exception. The company signed a contract with [Cinema Chain] for a specific period. Now that the period is done, there’s nothing we can do about it.”

Caller: “But you should have told me! No one told me so it’s your fault and I want the free movie!”

Me: “Madam, we had ads on billboards in several major streets in your city—”

Caller: “I don’t go out much.”

Me: “We also had ads in every major newspaper—”

Caller: “I don’t read any newspapers.”

Me: “And several major radio stations—”

Caller: “I don’t listen to the radio.”

Me: “And there was a colourful ad in your monthly bill—”

Caller: “I always disregard those.”

Me: “And a whole ton of ads on our website and major news websites—”

Caller: “I don’t use the Internet.”

Me: “And every single client of [Provider] got a text message about it.”

Caller: “Oh, those I never read.”

Me: “Then how, Madam, did you expect us to inform you of this offer, if you disregard every single publicity method we use?”

Caller: *reproachfully* “Well, I’d expect you to call me!”

Me: “Good morning, my name is [My Name]. May I have your name, please?”

Customer: “That stupid computer doesn’t understand a word I am saying! I hate computers!”

Me: “I’m sorry for any problems you had, sir. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Are you a computer? You sound like a d*** computer!”

Me: *sarcastically* “Well I’m part computer, sir; my mother was a computer.”

Customer: “You’re part computer?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I am a cyborg.”

Customer: “F****** cyborgs!” *click*