(I’m the customer in this one, calling into the store. I have worked in customer service for years and as such I tend to get a lot of “oh, thank heavens!” reactions from staff. This is one.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like to get a refill on [Medication].”

Pharmacist: *in trepidation* “Uhh… let me just check if we have your three-months’ refill.”

Me: “No worries.”

Pharmacist: *sounding even more worried* “Ma’am, I am so sorry, but it doesn’t appear we have the full supply. When do you need them by?”

Me: “I’m out as of tomorrow, but that’s no problem; it wouldn’t be the first time I get a week’s supply and come back for more when you have it.”

Pharmacist: “I can try calling another… Do you think… Wait, what? Really?”

Me: “Sure. Happens at least half the time. You only have a few customers on this medication and apparently we all like to refill at about the same time.”

Pharmacist: “And you’re not… You’re okay?”

Me: *laughing* “I’m not cranky-customer-type. My goal is never to be the one you go home complaining about!”

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, you are my favourite customer today. Possibly this month.”

(I work in a location of a popular bakery chain. Occasionally, we have a customer who comes to us trying to get bread that was bought outside of our store sliced by us. We can’t allow that because of food safety concerns. I have just finished up with a lady and am putting her money in the till when a customer tries to flag my attention before the other customers.)

Me: “One second, ma’am.”

(The customer huff impatiently and I put away the money. I smile at her to show her she has my attention.)

Me: “How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Finally. Well, I bought this loaf and I forgot to get it cut, you see, and I was wondering if you could just throw it in your slicer there.”

(I assume she is a customer we had just served in our rush who has come back, before I notice that the loaf actually belongs to another popular bakery chain.)

Me: “Oh ma’am, I’m sorry, but I can’t take your bread.”

Customer: “I just want it sliced. I don’t care how you do it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I really can’t do that. It’s a safety issue. I mean, I don’t think that you or the bakery has put anything in the bread, but we just can’t take the chance.”

Customer: “But it’s your bread!”

Me: “Actually, it comes from [other popular bakery chain].”

Customer: “Yes!” *explaining it slowly* “And you’re all part of the same company.”

Me: “Actually that’s not quite true, you see—”

Customer: “Look, are you going to slice this bread or not?!”

(I look at my supervisor, who shakes her head.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

Customer: “Fine! Well I guess I won’t buying anything from here again!” *storms off with her unsliced bread*

Supervisor: “You didn’t buy anything from us to begin with!”

(I am working the fitting room in a clothing store on Christmas Eve. It is pretty dead until a customer walks up to me holding three tree skirts.)

Customer: “Hi. Can I try these on?”

Me: “Uh, ma’am, you know those are tree skirts? Right? Those things you put around the bottom of a Christmas tree?”

Customer: “Oh, I know. I just thought they’d make great Christmas ponchos!”

This story is part of the Christmas Eve roundup!

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[Student] is in our engineering course. He doesn’t listen to anything the lecturer says, doesn’t make notes, and is often late. Halfway through the year, he brags that he hasn’t done a single assignment himself. He either paid someone to write them or bought them online.

As someone who struggles daily, this infuriates me. Just because he has money, why should he have the easy life?!

After another bragging session a few weeks on, I speak to my professor, who tells me sadly that if there is no proof and the plagiarism isn’t evident, they can’t do anything about it. But “these people never get far.”

I take that as some meaningless platitude and try my best to avoid [Student] altogether.

The rest of the year, I struggle through the course getting average marks. [Student] gets 100% every time. Right at the end of the academic year, this happens:

Lecturer: “Good news, everyone! We have decided to scrap the last assignment.”

Cheers come from the class.

Lecturer: “But we will be having a test, instead.”

Cue lots of groans.

Lecturer: “Don’t worry. We devised a special one, just for this class.”

We all crammed like crazy. [Student] was particularly panicking. When we got to the test, it was incredibly easy, with basic answers from the coursework, just simple understanding questions. Everyone finished it in minutes… all apart from [Student].

He got a redo, failed, then had a retest date, and he failed that, too. He couldn’t pass without the exam and ended up repeating the whole year.

This story is part of our Best Of August 2021 roundup!

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(I have been working at this location for several months. Even though I don’t drink coffee, I know a lot about it since my fiancé is a barista. )

Coworker: “Hey [my name], there is a customer that’s pulled up and she ordered a special coffee, but when I brought it to her, she said that’s not what she wanted.”

Me: “Okay. I’ll go talk to her and see if I can get it straightened out.”

Manager: “Hold on! You’re not a manager. You can’t do that. I’ll go talk to her and see what she needs. You stay here.”

Me: “Okay…”

(My manager leaves, and comes back a few minutes later obviously upset.)

Me: “What do we need to bring her?”

Manager: “I don’t know! I went over every coffee item on out menu, but she kept asking for me to make some special for her daughter, and it made no sense!”

Me: “Well what did she ask for? I know a lot about coffee, so maybe I can help.”

Manager: “I don’t remember…”

Me: “Let me go check.”

(I go over to the customer.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am? I’m sorry someone had to come out here twice, but I think there was a miscommunication about one of your drinks, and I’d like to try to help.”

Customer: “Yes, I’m not sure that last manager understood me correctly. I asked him if I could get a [special coffee] without any espresso in it because it’s for my daughter.”

Me: “Of course, ma’am. I understand what you mean, and unfortunately the way that particular coffee is made, it comes premixed with espresso in it. However, if you like I can make you a chocolate milk shake with chocolate chips and caramel sauce in it. That is essentially what you are asking for.”

Customer: “Yes please! Sorry for all the trouble.”

Me: “No problem, ma’am, I’m sorry we didn’t understand you the first time. Let me go make your drink for you.”

(I come inside, make the drink, and the customer leaves happy.)

Manager: “Did you get her what she wanted?”

Me: “I sure did!”

Manager: “Good. But don’t think this gives you permission to do that all the time! This was a one-time thing! Only managers can go out and talk to the customers!”

(A few hours later, our store manager comes up front to talk to us about a call she just received.)

Store Manager: “So apparently this lady just came through with her daughter and there was some trouble with her drink.”

Manager: “Was there something wrong?”

Store Manager: “Actually, the lady gave a glowing recommendation for the help she received even though her order was complicated, and not something we can normally make.”

Manager: “Well, I’m glad I could help fix her problem! It wasn’t really that complicated.”

Store Manager: “Actually the lady informed me the helpful manager’s name was [my name].”

Manager: “But she’s not a manager!”

Store Manager: “She certainly acted like one, so she is now. [My name], you are officially our coffee expert from now on. After next pay period your raise will be in affect and you can pick up your new uniforms after your shift ends.”

(My fellow manager was not pleased he couldn’t steal credit for my hard work and knowledge. He eventually changed shifts so he wouldn’t have to work with me anymore.)