Higher Education, Not So High Common Sense

| Right | January 28, 2008

(This was a few years ago, when I worked for tech support at my college.)

Me: “***** College tech support, this is *****. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I’m having trouble with my e-mail client. I can’t figure out how to set up my account.”

Me: “No problem, let me walk you through it.”

(I talk her through the account set up screens. Finally, when we’re done…)

Me: “All right, click on ‘OK’ and you should be all set.”

Caller: “What ‘OK’? I don’t see anything that says ‘OK’.”

Me: “There’s a button to the lower right of the window that says ‘OK’, next to the ‘Cancel’ button.”

Caller: “I don’t see it.”

(This exchange goes on for about 5 minutes. I have the program open on my computer and describe the window to make sure she’s in the right spot, and she is. I make sure she’s running the same version, she is.)

Me: “Ma’am, I have the program open right now, and there should be an ‘OK’ button to the right of a ‘”Cancel’ button…at the bottom right of the screen.”

Caller: “That’s so strange…I just don’t see one.”

Me: “Hmm. Well, what building are you in? Maybe I could help you better in person.”

Caller: “I’m in the–oh, wait! You mean THAT ‘OK’ button?”

Me: “The one at the bottom right, next to a ‘Cancel’ button?”

Caller: “Yes!”

Me: “…yes. Click on that.”

Caller: “Thank you!”

(The other IT techs were laughing throughout this whole conversation… then one informed me that the caller was actually head of the college’s financial aid department. I suddenly understood why half of my friends were having problems with their financial aid.)

1 Thumbs
2,066

Less Is More, More Or Less

| Right | February 13, 2012

Me: “Hi! What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Well, I have two coupons here. One is a large pizza, four sodas, and 70 tokens for $29.99. The other is for a large pizza, four sodas, wings, and 110 tokens for $29.99. Which one is better?”

Me: “Well, I’d personally go with the second one. It’s the same price, plus you get an extra order of wings and 40 more tokens.”

Customer: “You’re just trying to get more money off of me, so you picked the worse deal. I’ll take the first coupon, idiot!”

1 Thumbs
2,323

No ID, No Idea, Part 4

| Right | March 1, 2011

(A customer comes to the bar with his parents. He starts to order drinks, but I stop him to ask for his ID.)

Me: “Can I see some ID, please?”

Customer’s mother: “He doesn’t need it. He’s 19.”

Me: “Well, I’m just asking him to prove that.”

Customer: “I don’t have any.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to serve you then.”

Customer’s father: “Okay. Well, I’ll order then.”

(He orders the same three alcoholic drinks as his son had before.)

Me: “Unfortunately, he will have to have a soft drink.”

Customer’s father: “What do you mean he can’t have a drink? He’s 19! He’s actually a barman, you know!”

Me: “Well, he should really know better then.”

 

1 Thumbs
2,455

One Adopted Every Minute

| Right | June 30, 2016

(I’m a male cashier at a hardware store. A male customer in his 20s approaches me.)

Customer: “Hey! Some lady is messin’ around in the aisle over there!”

(I can see from the counter that the woman he’s talking about is one of my coworkers, a valued employee.)

Me: “Actually, sir, she works here.”

Customer: “The hell she does! Women don’t know shit about this stuff! She’s a useless employee and you wasted your money hiring her. I went up to her and asked if y’all carried square-handled double monkey wrenches, and she told me this store doesn’t carry those!”

Me: “That’s… not a real thing, sir. Those don’t exist.”

Customer: “Yeah, but that dumb b**** didn’t say that when I asked her! Women are f****** useless.”

Me: *getting angry* “A woman gave birth to you. Do you think that’s worthless?”

Customer: “No, actually, she didn’t! I wasn’t born! I’m adopted!”

1 Thumbs
1,338

Someone Who Actually Lives Under A Rock

| Right | April 27, 2008

(A man has been waiting for a table at a full restaurant for 15 minutes. A family of four walks in with reservations and is immediately seated. The man approaches the hostess.)

Man: “I’ve been waiting here for 15 minutes. Why were they seated before me?”

Hostess: “I’m sorry, sir, but they called to reserve a table.”

Man: “What, just because they called they get a table right when they come in?”

Hostess: “Yes, sir, they called ahead to reserve a table.”

Man: “Well, that’s dumb! So if I go outside and call can I come back in and get a table right now?”

Hostess: “No sir, I’m sorry, but we require at least a couple hours notice for reservations.”

Man: “Well that’s G** d*** stupid! So he calls and gets a table right away, but I can’t call and get a table? What the h*** is wrong with this place?”

*man storms out*

1 Thumbs
1,548