10 Stories About Customers Who Have No Idea What They Want

Dear readers,

Many customers know exactly what they want, to the point where they become a completely different type of problem customer when you can’t find their exact item. And then there are those who think they know what they want, but their knowledge is so vague that they might as well just ask for De Ting.

We’ve rounded up ten stories about customers who describe what they want so vaguely, so uselessly, that our poor employees are never going to be able to narrow it down. Have fun reading!

No Pink Bunnies, But Plenty Of Jackasses – Maybe bookstores should consider the whole “search by color” thing…

Paging Miss Cleo – Was it Christopher Lee? He’s prolific as heck.

Well, That Narrows It Down, Part 2 – So… anything that pays, then?

The Broad Who Was Too Broad – It’s almost like your experience this morning wasn’t universal. Weird.

If You’re Gonna Be Off, Be Waaaay Off – Hits from the comments: “I apologize, sir, our air filters only work in red cars. I will have to order the filter for blue cars and it will cost extra.”

The Thing On The Thing With The Thing – If the table’s sturdy enough, this could be literally anything.

Gluttony Or Gluttony – Maybe they’re just looking to be surprised?

If Dr. Phil Has Hair, I’m A Friggin’ Sasquatch – Okay, maybe one employee is a mind reader.

Oooh, Red And Rectangular… – Hits from the comments: “Just find a red book and tell her it’s that. She’ll never know the difference.”

Tastes Like Chicken – Whatever it is, it sounds delicious.

We hope you enjoyed this roundup about useless customers and super-vague requests! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!

Some other roundups to check out if you liked this one:

23 Funny Stories About Bookstore Employees And Their Terrible Customers 

15 Hilarious Stories About Customers Demanding The Impossible