(It’s Christmas Eve and there is a long line of customers who are now waiting to pay. A little girl cuts to the front while I am giving a guy a drink refill.)

Little Girl’s Mom: *to the refill guy* “UGH! Did you just cut her?”

(The mom smacks the guy on the head; surprisingly, he just walks off with his soda.)

Me: “What can I get you?”

Little Girl’s Mom: “Don’t ask me, ask her! She’s your customer; you should be asking her. God, it’s people like you who ruin the holidays!”

Me: *to the little girl* “Okay, what would you like?”

(The little girl just stares blankly at me while customers are becoming pissed.)

Little Girl’s Mom: *coming clean* “Just give me a diet [Soda]. It’s for me.”

(Customer has been browsing their pictures for a few minutes and I’ve been working on other orders.)

Customer: “Hey!”

(The customer taps the envelope on the counter obnoxiously to get my attention.)

Me: “Yes. sir?”

Customer: “You ruined my pictures!” *throws pictures on the counter*

Me: “Sir, they look fine to me.”

Customer: “You put your fingers in my pictures!”

Me: “That’s impossible, sir, there’s no way my fingers could be in your pictures.”

Customer: “They stuck them in the way when you were printing them.”

Me: “No, sir, the way our machine works that just can’t happen. The only way there could be fingers in the pictures is if whoever was taking the picture accidentally let their fingers get in the shot.”

Customer: “Well, I’m a professional and I took all these pictures so I know it wasn’t me. It has to be your fingers!”

Me: “Sir, was I there when you took your pictures?”

Customer: *looks annoyed and confused* “No…”

Me: “They’re not my fingers then.”

(This continued for another fifteen minutes, with the customer complaining about our machine being out of focus and a mystery line that very obviously resembled a camera strap.)

This story is part of the Customers-Are-Bad-Photographers roundup!

Read the next Customers-Are-Bad-Photographers roundup story!

Read the Customers-Are-Bad-Photographers roundup!

Customer: “I need a fan.”

Me: “What kind of fan?”

Customer: “A fan for where I plug my modem in.”

Me: “Do you have it with you?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

(Customer leaves and returns with the computer. A hairdryer is duct-taped to the power supply, nozzle pointing into where the fan normally sits.)

Me: *dumbfounded* “Why is there a hairdryer taped to your computer?”

Customer: “Well, I have to keep it warm, or it will freeze up.”

This story is part of the “Customers Who Don’t Know How The World Works” roundup!

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Customer: “What time does the film start?”

Me: “The film starts fifteen minutes after the time on your ticket. There are fifteen minutes of ads and trailers.”

Customer: “No, I said what time does the F-I-L-M start?!”

Me: “The film starts after fifteen minutes of trailers, so fifteen minutes after whatever it says on the ticket. Your ticket says 3:30 pm, so the film would start at 3:45. Okay?”

Customer: “Don’t blind me with science!”

(I’m working at the cigarette counter. I wear glasses.)

Me: “How can I help you today?”

(Customer is clearly not from this country and speaks in broken English with a thick accent.)

Customer: “Glasses!” *points at my face* “Glasses!”

Me: “You like my glasses?”

Customer: “No glasses. No glasses!”

Me: “You don’t like my glasses.”

Customer: “Not you. No glasses.”

Me: “Not me? No glasses? You want someone without glasses?”

Customer: “Yes. No glasses!”

(I look over at another cashier and a nearby register who heard everything and have her switch with me. Meanwhile, everyone around us is cracking up laughing.)