I am the author of this story. About six months after I stop working with this person, I receive a call from one of the higher-ups of the company asking me to come back and work for them with a promotion and 30% raise. It’s a hard offer to pass up. I meet with my former district manager — [Former Boss]’s boss — for lunch to discuss how the transition would work. 

District Manager: “So, it wouldn’t be the same thing you were doing before, but we can get you up to speed on the changes.”

Me: “That sounds great, and I’d like to come back as long as the support system is in place.”

District Manager: “Yes, we can get [Former Coworker] to help out.”

Me: *Incredulous* “[Former Coworker]?”

District Manager: “Yes, she was promoted to another location a couple of months ago.” 

Me: “Is [Former Coworker #2] still around?” 

District Manager: “What happened? How’s your relationship with [Former Coworker]?”

I pause. I think about deflecting. I think about lying. Then, I decide I don’t owe her anything.

Me: “Honestly, it’s terrible.”

District Manager: “What happened?”

Me: “Well, [Former Boss] hired and paid her to be my videographer when I got married. After jerking me around for a year and a half, she finally admitted to losing all my reception footage. I never even got an apology. So, if I have a choice, I’d prefer to work with [Former Coworker #2].”

District Manager: “Oh, my God. I knew she could be flaky, but that is unbelievable. Don’t worry; I’ll make sure you’re working with someone else.”

To be honest, I felt a little guilty about ratting her out to her big boss, even though I knew it wouldn’t lead to any repercussions for her. Maybe I am a vengeful person. But the triumph of being perfectly frank about her behavior was so, so sweet.

Related:
Well, It’s Certainly Memorable

Customer: “Hello, I’ve driven quite far to get some prints from my old digital camera, and I’d like to pick them up today if possible.”

Me: “Absolutely, sir. Where’s the memory card?”

Customer: “Right here.”

(The customers unwraps a plastic bag and tries to hand me the contents. I just give him a knowing look that he quickly notices, he takes a look at the thing in his hand, and it dawns on him.)

Customer: “This is the battery, isn’t it?”

(Working in a photo lab, I see all kinds of terrible pictures. On this occasion, after I develop the negatives, this customer’s pictures are completely out of focus. I develop them anyway, because they seem to be of a vacation, and mark them as “no charge.” When she comes to pick them up, she demands that the cashier come and get me.)

Customer: “These pictures are all out of focus!”

Me: “Yeah, sorry about that. I salvaged everything I could.”

Customer: “I want you to try again.”

Me: “Sure, I’ll see what I can do, but don’t hold your breath.”

(I print them again and try to adjust brightness and saturation to try and get more definition, but it’s still terribly blurry.)

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, this is the best I can do.”

Customer: “I want you to do this properly, and print them in focus!”

Me: “Ma’am, the only way that’s happening is if I go back in time and teach you how to use a camera.”

(She stormed off and I got a complaint, but it was worth it.)

(I work in a photo lab at a photo store. A woman comes up to me and asks me for a USB cord for her laptop. As I’m busy at the moment and there is a free — female — coworker, I ask the customer to turn to her.)

Customer: *looks at me with big eyes and gasps* “How does she know? She’s a woman!”

Me: *calmly* “So am I!”

(She looked at me for a moment and left quickly.)

(I am a woman in my 30s, picking up a framed photo of the extended family.)

Store Employee: “Nice picture! Is it for a family party?”

Me: “Yes, actually! It’s the great grandfather’s 90th birthday.”

Store Employee: “Those are some good genes!”

Me: “They sure are! He is actually my husband’s grandfather, though.”

Store Employee: “So, he’ll be the one to bury you, then.”

Me: *confused pause* “I… guess… so?”