I worked in a drug store photo lab, back in the days before smartphones and in the early days of digital cameras. A woman has come in to collect her pictures.

Customer: “I’m not paying for these! They’re terrible quality!”

Me: “We can only print what you give us, ma’am. You don’t have to take them if you’re unhappy with them.”

Customer: “Well… I won’t! These are not worth paying for!”

Me: “I understand, ma’am. I’ll be sure to dispose of these so that—”

Customer: “—Wait! Dispose? As in throw them away?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. We will destroy them, so that—”

Customer: “Well, if you’re just going to throw them away, then I might as well take them.”

Me: *Confused.* “So, you do want to pay for them?

Customer: “No! Seriously, pay attention! I’m not paying for them, but if you’re just going to throw them away anyway, then I’ll take them for free.”

Ah, so that’s her game.

Me: “Ma’am, if you’re unhappy with the photos, then we don’t force you to pay for them, but if you did want to take them with you, then you have to pay.”

Customer: “But I don’t want them! But I might as well have them if you’re just going to throw them away!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you want to take the photos with you outside this building, then you do want them.”

Customer: “Ugh! You’re not getting it!”

Me: “I’m getting it, ma’am. I’m just disagreeing with it. It’s like me grabbing that bottle of Tylenol off the shelf there and saying, “I don’t want this, can I have it for free?””

Customer: “Ugh! You’re too stupid to understand! Keep the stupid photos!”

She stormed out, angry that her little scam didn’t work. Some guy (husband, boyfriend?) came in later that night to pay for them and collect them. He thought all the pictures “turned out great!”

At the time, my store offered ‘One Hour’ photo processing, and I was the head photo tech in our lab. This did not make me a manager in any way, but I had just been in the position for years at this point.

If no one has ever worked in a photo lab, you should know that we have to deal with the US Federal Copyright Law. If someone tried to print a photo that they did not create themselves, or an image owned by someone else, we cannot legally print it without permission from the owners.

The customer who came in had several images of Disney characters that she claimed to have bought from Etsy. Regardless of where she bought them, Disney characters are a big “No-Go” on the copyright scale. We can’t even print those novelty photos you get taken at the park without a release.

I tried to refuse her images, and she started throwing a fit. I expected as much. Most people have issues when I don’t let them have “Their photos” without understanding the rules we have to follow.

Normally, just explaining it to them is enough to get them to calm down, but this customer was cussing and yelling at me and would not calm down, regardless of what I did. So, eventually, she said the magic words of:

Customer: “I want to talk to your manager!”

Fine by me.

I call my boss, tell him what is going on, and he comes to talk to the customer. He explains everything I just explained to the customer again and apologizes to the customer.

Manager: “There is nothing we can do, sorry, it is the law.”

The customer leaves, and I don’t think anything of it, until she comes back two days later.

At first, she was okay. She came up to the lab, patiently waited her turn, and tried to print the photos again. We had the same runaround, and after calling the same manager again, the customer tried to apologize to me, saying she just really wanted the photos, and she was sorry for calling me every bad word you can think of.

Customer: “I apologize. Can we put this behind us?”

Me: “No. I do not accept your apology; there was no need for you to say any of what you just did.”

Customer: *Looking very confused.* “You can’t not accept an apology!”

Me: “Yes, I can. I hold you responsible for what you said, and your words hurt.”

My Manager: *Trying not to laugh.* “Ma’am, I think you should go now.”

Related:
CopyWrong, Part 8
CopyWrong, Part 7
CopyWrong, Part 6
CopyWrong, Part 5
CopyWrong, Part 4

I work in a photo lab. A customer is at the counter holding a stack of glossy 6×4 prints.

Customer: “These are too bright.”

Me: “Too bright?”

Customer: “Everyone looks fake. My granddaughter’s face looks like it’s made of plastic!”

Me: “Our machines don’t add effects, but the photos might print brighter depending on your phone’s settings.”

Customer: “Then why don’t you adjust them before you print? I shouldn’t have to do everything myself.”

Me: “We print exactly what you send. It’s an automated system.”

Customer: “Well, someone should’ve stopped it. Just use common sense. Who wants pictures that look like this?”

She fans them out. The images are clearly taken with a heavy filter: sparkles, airbrush, blinding contrast.

Me: “It looks like a filter’s been applied on your end.”

Customer: “I don’t use filters!”

Me: “Then someone else must’ve edited them.”

Customer: “That’s not the point. You should’ve fixed them. Use your eyes!”

Me: “Ma’am, what would you have done if we had guessed at your intent, made changes to your photos, and you didn’t like the result?”

Customer: “I’d sue!”

Me: “Wow… I was expecting you to say you’d just complain, but thanks for proving my point a whole lot more.”

I’m at the counter reviewing some photo print orders when a customer walks in with a USB stick.

Customer: “Hi, I’m trying to print some photos, but the machine says the file is ‘too small.’ They looked fine on my phone.”

Me: “Let me take a look. Sometimes photos saved from certain apps are compressed and don’t print well at larger sizes.”

I plug it in. Sure enough, the image is 150×150 pixels, just enough for a postage stamp.

Customer: “I downloaded them from my own Instagram. That’s the only place I had them.”

Me: “Ah, Instagram resizes images to save space. Do you happen to have the originals on your phone or in cloud storage?”

Customer: “No, I think I deleted them once I uploaded them. That’s what the cloud is for, right?”

Me: “Kind of, but in this case, Instagram is more like… the fog.”

I’m a shift supervisor for a retail drugstore chain. One of the services we provide is photo processing. Like a lot of places, we mainly handle digital photos. We do offer film development; however, it is a send-out service and could take two to three weeks.

Usually, when people call asking if we provide film service, I tell them of the wait time. If they sound upset or ask where to find faster service, I let them know that it is illegal to process film in our state. That way, the customer doesn’t waste their time calling other retailers. It’s illegal due to EPA violations and corrosion to pipes. Usually, customers are still upset but thank me for saving them a lot of time. Depending on how the conversation goes, I do inform customers that if a hobbyist has a closet darkroom, one could technically get away with it; however, I do not know where to find them.

One day, I’m in the photo department when I receive this phone call.

Me: “Photo department! [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Do you do disposable cameras?”

Me: “Yes! However, it is a send-out order, and it takes two to three weeks.”

Customer: “TWO TO THREE WEEKS?! My son needs these pictures next week! Know anywhere that has a one-hour photo?”

Me: “It is illegal to process film in this state, so all places will be send-outs and have a significant wait time.”

Customer: “ILLEGAL TO PRINT PHOTOS?! My son needs these photos for his project next week or he will fail! Can’t you just print his photos?”

Me: “In order to print film, first, the film needs to be processed in a bunch of chemicals. Then, the film is run through a light machine. We no longer have any of that stuff. The chemicals harm the environment and cause pipe damage, which is why film processing is illegal in this state.”

Customer: “If it’s illegal, where do you send them?”

Me: “To a state where it’s still legal.”

Customer: “Which state?”

Me: “[State].”

The state I live in is on one coast of the USA, and the state where we send them is on the other coast.

Customer: “[STATE]?! No wonder it takes so long. Don’t you have anywhere closer?”

Me: “The company that we have a contract with is in that state.”

Customer: “My son needs these photos next week. Can’t you just do them?”

By now, I’m juggling whether I should tell her about closet dark rooms, but I decide not to.

This goes for several rounds as I explain that it’s illegal and we don’t have the equipment.

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you.”

Customer: “Thanks a lot for failing my son.” *Hangs up*

Hate the law, not the messenger.