Archive for 2010

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Pointless Points

| Franklin, TN, USA | Right | May 10, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Caller: *irate* “Hi, I came in yesterday and ate one of your sandwiches and it tasted awful. I want a refund!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear about that experience ma’am. Did you say this happened yesterday?”

Caller: “Yes, it was yesterday.”

Me: “As in Sunday? You’re sure this happened yesterday?”

Caller: “Yes. I went through the drive-thru yesterday and got a sandwich that tasted awful!”

Me: “Yesterday?”

Caller: “Yes, Sunday, yesterday, what’s the problem?”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry ma’am, but we’re closed on Sundays.”

Caller: “Your point?”

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When Coffee Tastes Are Too Well Grounded

| Petersburg, IL, USA | Right | May 10, 2010

Customer: “Where’s your normal coffee?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “I just want a bag of normal coffee, not flavored.
Where’s your normal coffee?”

Me: “Oh, all of the coffees on the left side of the shelf are unflavored.”

Customer: “No, they’re all flavored.  They all say different flavors, like  ‘Ethiopia’.”

Me: “No, those aren’t flavors. All the ones with a country name are just normal, black coffees like you want. The country name is where the coffee was grown.”

Customer: “What! There’s no such country as Ethiopia!”

Me: “Well, it’s very far away, in Africa.”

Customer: “If you say so. So the ones with country names aren’t flavored?”

Me: “Nope.”

Customer: “Fine. I’ll take the stuff from France.”

Me: “Coffee doesn’t grow in France…”

Customer: “Yeah, that French Vanilla.”

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One Nation, Under God, Period

| South Dakota, USA | Right | May 9, 2010

Customer: “Do you have anything made in Tennessee?”

Me: “It’s quite possible.”

Customer: “Well, what about Illinois?”

Me: “Maybe.”

Customer: “What about New Jersey?”

Me: “I’m not sure…you may find something.”

Customer: “But your sign says you sell goods from over 50 countries! That’s all of them!”

Me: “That’s states. It’s 50 countries outside the US.”

Customer: *baffled look* “Out…side?”

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The Pre-School Preemptive

| Chicago, IL, USA | Right | May 9, 2010

Me: “Hi, you’ve reached the office of admissions at [Private High School]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I’m looking at schools for my daughter, and I was wondering if you could tell me some of the benefits of your school.”

(I discuss benefits of being a student at my high school.)

Caller: “Are you a student here?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “Do you see the programs changing in the next few years?”

Me: “How many years?”

Caller: “Well, my daughter is starting preschool in a month.”

 

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For The Love Of God, Get GPS, Part 2

| Nova Scotia, Canada | Right | May 8, 2010

Caller: “Hi. I’m trying to find you, but seem a bit lost.”

Me: “That’s no problem. Do you approximately where you are?”

Caller: “Nova Scotia.”

Me: “That’s good, but I will need a bit more information. Are you in Halifax or Dartmouth?”

Caller: “Canada.”

Me: “Do you know which city you are in?”

Caller: “Canada.”

Me: “Canada is the country. Which area of the city are you in. Do you know which road you are on?”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “Where have you driven from?”

Caller: “My aunt’s house.”

Me: “Do you know your aunt’s address?”

Caller: “She lives in Nova Scotia.”

Me: “Can you see any signs or landmarks?”

Caller: “I have some water on my right and some trees on my left.”

Me: “Any shops or gas stations?”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “You will need to keep going straight and call me back as soon as you see a sign or can stop at a gas station or shop and ask for help.”

Caller: “I thought you were guest services. Why won’t you help me?”

Me: “I am trying, but need a basic idea where you are.”

Caller: *shouting* “I’m. In. Canada!”

 

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