(I work at a Department of Licensing office, where we are required to check ID for pretty much everything. This woman comes in wanting to renew her license plate tabs, and I ask for ID, this is the conversation that ensues.)

Customer: *hands me a credit card with a photo on it.*

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I need a photo ID card to do this for you.

Customer: “That is a photo ID. It has my photo, it has my name, its a photo ID.”

Me: “I’m sorry, this is a credit card, not a legal ID card, I can’t accept it. Do you have a state ID, military ID, or passport? Any of those are acceptable.”

Customer: “That is an ID, it has my photo and it has my name, it’s an ID. Just give me my stickers.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t without photo ID. State, military and passport are the only ones that qualify.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous, this has my name, it has my picture, why won’t you take it?!”

Me: “Because they would fire me. That is not a photo ID, it’s a credit card. I can’t accept it as ID. Please come back with a drivers license, state ID or passport.”

(the customer leaves in a huff, gets into her car and drives away. The next person in line steps up to me.)

Customer #2: “Sooo, if she doesn’t have her drivers license with her… but she drove here?”

Me: “Yep! Happens all the time.”

*I’m the customer in this story*
I recently had ordered some motors for a particular project of mine, and i had managed during the ordering steps to enter the wrong postal address (a PO BOX). Note that they intended to ship though TNT rather than generic post. I subsequently tried to ring to attempt to fix it. I assumed the worst and tried to ring Aus Post to see how i could get the package set to the proper PO BOX. This is the phone call that happened after waiting for a solid 30 mins to get in line for an operator.

Operator: “Hello my name is …. and what can i help with today”
Me: “Ye, i recently ordered some motors online, but i managed to send it to the wrong address PO BOX 3718 rather than PO BOX 3716”
Operator: “OK, do you have an shipping ID or tracking number there?”
Me: “No, i shipped with… Crap” *Having realized that was using TNT and not Aus Post* “I used TNT, oh no i’m one of ‘those’ callers, haaaaa…”
Operator: *slowly dying of laughter* “Nononono, its fine… Have a good day”
Me: “Ye thanks, at least it will be the quickest call of the day!” *click*

(I am on the returns desk for a major electrical retailer, and am known for having a no nonsence attitude to difficult customers. Im currently serving a customer and theres a small line)

Man: Hi this radio dont work and I want an exchange

Me: Ok, if youd like to get in line and I’ll serve you when I can

Man: Sorry, Im late for football practice, I need to be quick

Me: As I said, Im serving another customer right now, but I will be with you shortly

Man: Hey, Ive just been signed for Gillingham FC! So serve me now!

Me: Good for you! Back of the line!

Man: I get more a day then you do a week! Im a professional sportsman god damn it!

Me: Well right now youre a professional jackass! And all the money in the world wont save you from me booting your ass out the door! So you got two choices, back of the line and show some bloody respect, or the door! You got five seconds before I come out from behind here and choose for you.

(Ive never seen anyone run so fast out the door in my life)

Customer: Thats a shame, I was looking forward to seeing him get booted out

Me: Yeah same here *to my feet* sorry guys, maybe next time

(A man comes in and begins browsing around the store. He’s interested in some of the bread for sale.)

Customer: [Company Name] sourdough, huh? What is that like, a rye?

Me: No, sir. It’s a sourdough.

(So for some reason I’m the only one who ever interacts with the weird teenage girls. Granted we have a small staff and while I doubt the fact that I was the only male on staff at the time, I really think I’m just this unlucky. So one of those teen romance movies ends and the girl and her friend walk over to one of the benches we have in the lobby. The girl sits down on the floor and begins rolling around while her friend sits on the bench. As its getting close to closing time and I want to pretend there isn’t a girl rolling around on the floor I decide to start putting some of the things away and begin counting inventory. I’m currently squatting behind the counter looking in a cabinet.)

Girl: *In a concerned voice* “[My nnaaaammmmeeeeee]?? [My nnnnnnaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeee]????”

*Confused I poke my head over the counter*

Girl: “Oh good, you’re still here”

Me: “Yeah. I’m just taking care of a few things”

Girl: “Oh okay” *She continues rolling around on the floor*

(So several months later a group of girls came into the theater asking for me. Fortunately for me I wasn’t there at the time they asked but my shift was starting later that night. So when I showed up one of my co-workers quickly brought me up to speed on the situation.)

Co-Worker: “So theres a group of girls asking for you…”

Me: “Like annoying teenage girls?”

Co-Worker: “…Yeah…”

Me: “Right. So I’ll be in the backroom. Call me after they leave or if you need me. But it better be an emergency.”

*I quickly hid in the backroom to re-organize some things since I’ll probably be there awhile*

(After about 10 minutes my co-worker comes back to let me know they left)

Me: *Looking at my co-workers* “I hate my life so much”

Co-Worker 2: “Why was there a group of girls here to see you?”

Me: “I don’t know. I always interact with the weird ones.”

Co-worker: “Well, I just wanted to let you know that while you were hiding they told us about how they were hiding in a dumpster waiting for people to walk by so they could jump out and scare them.”

Me: *Bangs head against wall* “I literally can’t even right now”

(Several months after that I’m standing at the little stand thing where I rip tickets and let people know which direction to travel in to get to the theater.)

Girl: *Looking excitedly at me* “[My name]!!! Do you remember me?”

Me: “Nope”

Girl: “I came here with [Name of friend] to see that movie!”

Me: “I don’t even know who that is.”

Girl: *Walks closer to me with her phone* “Hold on”

(I assume that she’s going to show my a picture of her friend but I was sorely wrong)

Girl: *Standing beside me, she opens Snapchat, makes a duck face and takes a selfie with me. Giggling she walks away.*

Co-Worker: “What was that?”

Me: “How am I supposed to know?!”

(I have more stories like this but to this day I don’t know if any of the different girls are actually the same girl)