Unfiltered Story #47594

Unfiltered | October 24, 2015

(Note: I am a senior in college, studying in photography. I am not majoring in Spanish, nor have ever taken a Spanish class.My dad comes to me, holding up a can in Spanish.)

Dad: You’re in college, how do you pronounce this?

Me: ……

Unfiltered Story #56622

Unfiltered | October 24, 2015

(I need to replace some batteries. I go to the admin office.)

Me: Do we have any D batteries?

Admin: What are D batteries?

Me: Well, they’re about this long [indicating ~2″] and this wide [indicating ~1″].

Admin: I don’t think so, but if we have any, they’ll be on the second shelf.

(It takes me about 10 seconds to find some.)

Me: Here they are.

Admin: You said they were rectangular.

Me: No, I said how long and wide they were. They’re round just like most batteries. (Pause. Points to big letter clearly printed on pack of batteries.) D.

Admin: I’ll “D” you!

Me: (Grins, ducks and runs.)

Unfiltered Story #32168

Unfiltered | October 24, 2015

(When my grandparents and dad moved to the US from China they lived in a neighborhood with few Chinese families. One of them had the same last name as us. Note that most Chinese last names are very common and ours is one of the most common.)

Teacher: (dad’s full name)

Dad: Here!

Teacher: Are you (name) and (name2)’s brother? I thought it was them, no one talked about you.

Dad: I’m not.

Teacher: But you have the same last name.

Dad: In China, there are many same last names. There are 30 in my class, 5 have my last name.

Teacher: Really? That’s amazing.

Dad: Not to me.

Teacher: Well I learned something. We all did.

(The first time but not the last they were thought to be the same family.)

Unfiltered Story #66983

Unfiltered | October 24, 2015

(I’m working at a haunt for Halloween. The room I’m in is the entrance to the maze and is designed like a doctor’s waiting room with two dummies in chairs. I’m sitting at a desk with a “”Sign In” sign next to the entrance of the maze. I’m slumped in my chair, like a dummy. Three people come in.)

Goth Guy: “Oh, look at these guys! They’re so creepy! I wish I could get my hair like this doctor, his is awesome.”

Furry Guy: “Dude, that’s a chick! Chicks have long hair!”

Goth Guy: “Not all of them! You’ve never been to [Local Goth Club]! You don’t know!”

(They argue for a minute until I jump out of my chair, making a loud thump. They scream.)

Me: “Hello and welcome to the St. Francis mental institution! The doctor will be with you shortly, but first please step into the disinfecting room!”

(I open the door to the maze and let them in.)

Goth Guy: “Uh… I know you’ve probably gotten this a million times tonight, but… uh… can I have your phone number?”

(I wasn’t interested in dating him, but I was part of the local goth scene, even working for a band that plays at the club he was talking about! We ended up being friends on facebook! I still find it funny that he wanted to flirt when five seconds before that he thought I was a man.)

Unfiltered Story #47593

Unfiltered | October 23, 2015

(We are having cheese and biscuits at my auntie’s house after dinner, we often laugh at my auntie as she has a habit of breaking things or saying silly things)

Auntie: “Be careful, some of these cheese are individually wrapped.”

Dad: “Yeah, and why do we need to be careful of them?”

Auntie: “Well, you might not know which they are.”

Dad: “I’ll hazard a guess that they are the ones wrapped individually.”

Auntie: “You don’t know that, you haven’t looked at the instructions!”