Unfiltered Story #32271

Unfiltered | February 9, 2016

I’m in history class, and we are doing a mock Q&A with some students acting as major people from the 1920s with the issue being race, and segregation. The group that I had to support was Hiram Wesley Evans, known as the Imperial Wizard of the KKK. The first 20 minutes was everyone’s group tearing us apart and by the end our actor was basically done.

Student: According to my research Mr. Evans you tortured and raped a minor. Is this true?

Student playing as Evans: Hey, just because I raped a child doesn’t mean I’m a bad person!

The classroom then erupted into laughter.

Unfiltered Story #67091

Unfiltered | February 9, 2016

I work for a company’s internal tech support. I am on the phone with one of our employees, and I have just determined that the issue needs to be resolved by one of our Level 2 hardware techs.

Me: Alright [employee] I’m going to put in a case to our Level 2 hardware group and they will give you a call back.

Employee: OK, thanks.

Me: No problem, have a great day.

Employee: Oh, which hardware store will be calling me?

Me: (trying not to laugh) It won’t be a hardware store, it’s going to be one of our company’s hardware techs.

Employee: Oh. Thanks.

My coworkers got quite a kick out of that story. I’m still not sure how he thought Home Depot would fix his computer!

Unfiltered Story #56725

Unfiltered | February 8, 2016

(I’m out with friends doing grocery shopping for a party that night. They’re headed to the liquor store for alcohol, but I don’t drink, so I just tell them I’ll wait at the car. I’m feeling pretty carsick, so I get out of the vehicle and sit on the bonnet, trying not to throw up and generally looking pretty green. It takes about fifteen minutes for my stomach to settle, by which time I realise that the others should really be done by now, and I’m just about to go check on them when they come out of the store, visibly irritated. One of them is laughing.)

Me: Hey guys, everything okay?

Her: Yeah, just the register chick is a f***ing idiot.

Me: *sensing entertainment* What happened?

Her: Okay, so I get the beer, and the stuff for the shots that (friend) wanted, when I noticed they’re doing a two for one sale on rum, and you know (name) was talking about doing something with rum on the weekend, so I call her to see if she wants to go halvsies. So I’m standing there on my phone while (name) hems and haws over the rum, and just as she decides no and hangs up this cashier chick comes over to me and says, “You know, you should tell your friend, that if you’re buying for an underager, they really shouldn’t wait outside the store.”

Me: *baffled* What?

Her: I know! I was like “What? We’re not buying for anyone,” and she was like, “I can see her outside waiting by your car. I’m just saying, if you’re buying for an underager, you shouldn’t make it so obvious.” She meant you.

(My jaw drops. We’re all legal, but I’m actually the oldest of the group, and definitely don’t look young for my age – in fact I’m usually mistaken for being five to ten years older.)

Me: You’re joking.

Her: Nope! We went back and forth for like ten minutes before I gave up.

Me: Oh my god! Now I wish I’d actually gone in to see what was taking so long so they could ID me! I’d have killed to see the look on her face! Wait, isn’t it illegal to sell if you think they’re buying for someone underage? They should have just come out and ID’d me.

Her: I know. Would have saved a lot of time, anyway!

Unfiltered Story #28003

Unfiltered | February 8, 2016

(It’s lunch time and my best friend is playing cards against humanity (a game I’ve never played due to its offensive nature) with three other of our friends on her laptop. Then the black card is chosen…Note: Friend 2 is playing along with my best friend and is sitting right next to her with the screen turned away and friend 3 is watching. Friend 4 is in the schools computer labdirecly connected to the lunch room.)

Black Card: That’s right, I Killed ________. You know how? ________.

My Best Friends White Cards: Han Solo. Hipsters.

(Then she hits enter. Not 5 seconds later…)

Friends 2 and 3: That is NOT ok!

Friend 4 (Still in the computer lab): Too Soon!

(My best friend and I busted up laughing…she won the round.)

Unfiltered Story #47700

Unfiltered | February 8, 2016

My family and I have been out for a long day Christmas shopping. This included my 7 year-old sister. We were discussing where we were going to go eat, but my mom wanted to make one last stop at Dick’s Sporting Goods. There is also a fast food fish restaurant in the area named Moby Dick’s.

Mom: I wanted to stop at Dick’s to get something for [my brother].

Sister: (yelling) NO! I DON’T WANT TO EAT DICKS!!!