Unfiltered Story #32351

Unfiltered | April 27, 2016

(I’m in ELA class, and I have 4 highlighters. We each need 2. My friend borrows one, and one is yellow,and we’re using yellow paper. My green highlighter (which I’m using) is almost dry.)

Jerk Para: Get a different highlighter.

Me: I don’t have any other highlighters, and I can make this one work.

(Jerk Para proceeds to take me to the Hub, basically a second school office, and tell my special ed case manager about what happened, twisting the story to make me look bad.)

Case manager:(quietly) Just make a referral. He needs to get detention.

(She then proceeds to THROW AWAY my highlighter.)

Later:

(Jerk Para gets my trapper and math book. I realize that she let people TAKE THE ERASERS AND GRAPHITE(lead) OUT OF MY MECHANICAL PENCILS, leaving me with nothing to use in math class. By then I am so mad, I’m almost CRYING. Keep in mind that I’m in middle school.)

Case manager: You probably just took them out (referring to my pencil erasers) and forgot. You’re always doing that.

(About then, the bell rang and I went to math. My friends knew something was wrong and asked me what happened. My friend (we’ll call him Jeff) who has the same ELA as me told me that everyone started being a lot more f**kwad-y to Jerk Para after I left, and my friend let me borrow his pencil. Jeff agreed that Jerk Para is pretty ridiculous. I decided that I will never shut up about the thrown away highlighter as revenge.)

(P.S. Even the kid that thinks I’m super annoying and stupid agreed, getting detention over a highlighter is ridiculous. Also, I have never had detention ever before.)

Unfiltered Story #47775

Unfiltered | April 27, 2016

(Background: My 14 year old brother is currently obsessed with ‘that’s what she said’ jokes and is driving our mother to distraction.

I was reorganising my room to put in an old armchair from downstairs and I had refused any help because I knew exactly how I wanted it. I was finally done and dragged the chair upstairs.)

Mum: You sure you don’t want any help?

Me: No thanks. (she stands there wincing and making worried noises as I try and get up the stairs with the armchair) Seriously, I’m fine. Go away.(she laughs and leaves.) (I get the chair up onto the landing only to find I couldn’t get it through my door.)

Me: Mum, it won’t fit through the door. (mum comes up and looks at it.)

Mum: after all that? I’m sure it will.

(between us we manage to get the chair through the door and Mum pokes her tongue out at me and starts doing a victory dance.)

Mum: *very sarcastically* Oh, won’t it fit, darling?

Me: That’s what he said.

Mum: Oh, no!

(dashes back downstairs while my brother high fives me).

Unfiltered Story #28081

Unfiltered | April 27, 2016

(My family brought a bunch of solar powered lights you stick into the ground for our front yard. However as a majority have been stolen or broken we’re put the remainder in a box on our front veranda. Our front yard is also not fenced in in any way and the box is placed such that it’s right by the house. I’m female, and talking with my mother in a room with a view of the front yard when this happens…)

Me: And that’s why – HEY!

(I race for the front door and throw it open, catching the man halfway down our stairs with the box of lights in his hands by surprise. I give chase and he drops it, breaking most of the remaining lights)

Me: What are you doing? Those are ours!

Man: I thought they were for anyone!

Me: …Seriously?

(Mum and I had no real way to hold him and didn’t think it was worth calling the police for a few lights he didn’t steal, not after the scare I gave him. He’s just lucky my father wasn’t home – he’s a cop!)

Unfiltered Story #18426

Unfiltered | April 26, 2016

My stepmother bought me a $100 gift card for a clothing store I like. It’s sort of expensive but I know how to shop the sales. I use about $40 on my first trip. On my second trip I buy what I think is about $60, but to make sure I ask them to total up my purchases and check my card balance.

Cashier: Your total is $58.76 and your card balance is $142.36.

Me: What? No, I think there must be a mistake. The card balance was originally $100 and I already used $40.

Cashier: Huh. Weird. [pokes around on computer] Oh, I see. When you spent that $42.36, they accidentally added it to the balance instead of subtracting it.

Me: Oh, that makes sense. Well, just take it off twice and we’ll be ready to check out my current purchases.

Cashier: I have to find out from my manager how to do that. Just hold on. [Goes in the back… for a while. Eventually comes out.] I’m sorry, none of us know how to do that. We called head office and they laughed and said to just enjoy it.

Me: Really??? In that case I’m doing more shopping!

I went back to the floor and bought a bunch of stuff for my stepmother. She was really surprised!

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Unfiltered Story #67165

Unfiltered | April 26, 2016

(I’m working the register when a woman approaches the counter.)

Customer: *mumbles something I can’t understand*

Me: Hmm? Sorry, what did you say?

Customer: I just wanted to say that you have a nice face. But if you lost a few pounds you could be so beautiful!

Me: Excuse me?

Customer: You’re face is nice! But you’d be really beautiful if you lost some weight.

Me: You’re… talking about me?

Customer: Yes. Just 1 or 2 pounds dear.

Me: *stares blankly for about 30 seconds* I honestly do not know what to say to that.

(I finished the rest of the transaction as quickly as possible. What a b****!)