Unfiltered Story #67486

Unfiltered | March 31, 2017

(My mom and I were at the mall when we see a veteran looking for shirts and we start talking to him)

Me: “I like your hat”

Him: *starts a story about how veterans are treated* (My mom and I go after awhile and go to checkout and my mom sees him coming)

Mom: see that man right there? I would like to pay for him

Cashier: *very confused but rings up his purchases with ours without him noticing and quietly thanks my mom*

Mom: *pats the man on the back and her and I go to a different section*

Me: he’s coming

Him: *walks up to us* you didn’t have to do that

Mom: it was no big deal

Him: I donate to an animal shelter all the time. Next time I donate I will donate extra because of what you guys did for me. Thank you very much

Unfiltered Story #48048

Unfiltered | March 31, 2017

(In my family, we love ice cream and even make our own for birthdays and holidays. It is the day of my sons 6th birthday party and I have just taken the ice cream out of the can, put it in containers, and am putting them in the freezer when I drop one container on the floor and it busts open.)

Me: “Noooooooooo!”

Husband: (running in from outside) “What? What happened? Are you okay?”

Me: (pointing, unable to speak)

Husband: “Are you serious?”

Me: “Grab another container! We can still save some!”

(He grabs another container and I manage to save what didn’t leak onto the floor.)

Husband: (walking back outside) “All that over some d*** ice cream.”

(Luckily we still had enough for the party, and some for later after everyone else went home!)

Unfiltered Story #32663

Unfiltered | March 31, 2017

*(Every day, either a student or the teacher writes the date on the homeroom board. The day is Tuesday, and the student writing the date does not know how to spell it.)*

Student #2: *jokingly* “It’s spelled C-h-o-u-s-d-a-y.”

Student #1: “Wait, is that right?”

*(Student #2 then proceeds to turn to me and ask how much I had gotten for a test we did a few days before. I ended up with top marks [in our school, instead of an ‘A’ an ‘8’ is the highest mark] and told him so. This conversation follows.)*

Student #2: “So, [My Name], this is how you spell ‘Tuesday’ right?”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Um. Yeah, totally.”

Student #2: “See, even she said so and she got an eight.”

Student #1: “But my laptop says Tuesday starts with a ‘T’…”

Student #2: “Does your laptop earn eights?”

Student #1: “…”

*(“Chousday” stayed on the board as it was, and I got most of the blame for this incident.)*

Unfiltered Story #28373

Unfiltered | March 30, 2017

(It’s opening night, and everyone is in the greenroom getting in costume and putting makeup on. Since my sister and I are in the first couple of scenes we’re the first ones to finish getting ready. The play’s not until 7:00, and we all got there at 5:30 because the majority of the cast are playing animals, which calls for complicated makeup. As such, we’ve got a lot of extra time on our hands.)

Sister: Hey [Actor 1] if you have time, could you take a picture of [My Name] and I?

Actor 1: Sure, I have plenty of time.

Me: We want to send it to our dad, since he’s out of town and can’t be here tonight.

Actor 2 (interjecting, confused): Wait, you two are sisters?

(The three of us stare at Actor 2 in shock. If you look at my sister and me, it’s pretty easy to tell that we’re related. In fact, even though she’s almost two years younger, we’ve frequently been mistaken for twins, and occasionally for each other.)

Me (amused): Yes, we are.

Sister (also amused): How did you not know that? We’ve been working on this play for months and you just realized that we’re related?

Actor 2 (shrugs, laughing at his own mistake): Guess I just never really thought about it.

Actor 1 (laughing): It’s like if someone didn’t realize that [Male Lead] and I are brothers!

Actor 2 (even more shocked): Wait you guys are brothers!

(We all found it pretty amusing, especially since we’ve all seen the cast list multiple times, and he would have seen that my sister and I shared a last name and that Actor 1 and the Male Lead shared a last name.)

Unfiltered Story #57130

Unfiltered | March 30, 2017

(It’s the spring of 2002. I’ve just accepted a job overseas, and I’m seeing my dentist for one last check-up and cleaning before I go. I’m settling up my bill with the receptionist before I leave.)

Receptionist: And I do recommend that you book your appointment for your next cleaning before you leave today. Our hygienist is very exclusive, after all.

Me: No, thank you. I’m about to leave the country, you see.

Receptionist: Well, that’s perfectly alright! We’ll book the appointment for as soon as you get back. When will you be returning?

Me: December 2004.

Receptionist: Oh. We don’t book that far in advance.