(I am out shopping with my mom. At the front of the store is the seasonal display. Because Christmas is over, they have pulled all the Christmas stuff off the seasonal display.)
Mom: “NOOOOO!”
Me: “What?”
Mom: “That!”
(I look over and see that the seasonal display is now full of Valentine’s Day stuff.)
Mom: “It’s not right! It’s the day after Christmas!”
(I’m currently taking a general physics course. We have begun learning about sound and we reach the end of class.)
Professor: “Any more questions? No? Okay, then let’s end the class on a high note.”
(We all groan.)
Me: “Boo!”
Classmate: “Seriously, Professor?”
Professor: “No good, huh? I guess I’ll just have to change my pitch.”
(Cue more groaning. I like my professor, but there is NEVER a good excuse for puns.)
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Teacher: “Does anyone here know what country their family immigrated from?”
Student #1: “I’m from India; my parents moved from there to London, then to America.”
Student #2: “I’m from Germany!”
Teacher: “Very cool, [Student #2].”
Me: “I think I’m Scottish, German, and a little bit Indian.”
Teacher: “Wow, that’s a lot!” *smiles* “Anyone else want to share?”
Student #3: “My great-great-grandparents immigrated here from Italy, so I guess that, like, makes me, like… Italyish.”
It’s the day after Christmas. I’m on the register. A woman comes up and I start to ring her up. As I bag, I place full bags on a spinning table next to me while I still have to pull things out of her cart. She has a couple of big, boxed-up items, so I leave them in the cart.
I finish ringing her up and push the cart over next to the table to start loading her groceries in it. However, the woman takes her cart and starts to walk away with over half her groceries still on the table! I manage to call her back over and load her bags into the cart.
(The Natural Bridge is an impressive stone arch in the mountains of Virginia that has been listed on the great wonders of the world. I am working in a nearby hotel and we have gotten the following complaints in our guestbook.)
Note #1: “We really enjoyed the walking tour, the history, and the light show, but were very disappointed that the waterfall was turned off.”
Note #2: “We were very impressed that everyone spoke English and we did not have to exchange our money for the local currency.”
Note #3: “Please install more rides; we were very bored.”
