Library Patron: “I need some help comparing heating prices.”
Me: “Okay, let me show you a website where you can compare the different gas companies.”
(I lead the patron to computer, and type in the website address.)
Me: “Here you go. Just type in your information.”
Library Patron: *looking at the keyboard* “These letters are all mixed up!”
Me: “Uh, well…”
Library Patron: “Have they always been like this?”
Me: “Only since the 1800s. Here, let me do the typing.”
Me: “Good morning, how can I help you?”
Woman: “Yeah, a small coffee with two splendas and extra milk.”
Me: “Okay, that will be $1.49.”
(She pays and I give her the change. I proceed to make the drink. I pressed the “Medium” button for milk and then gave an extra shot. When I gave it to her, she took a sip and made a face as if she had just taken a sip of liquefied dog s**t.)
Me: “What seems to be the problem?”
Woman: “I asked for extra milk! This is too strong.”
Me: “Well, I’ll put some more in for you. No problem.”
Woman: *muttering under her breath* “Idiot kid…”
(I put another “Medium” shot in. This is two mediums and one extra shot for a total of seven milks. She takes another sip, with the same face.)
Woman: “What part of extra milk do you not understand?”
Me: “I understand what extra milk means. I put in about four times the regular amount of milk.”
Woman: “Well, put more!”
(I put in more. I put a “Large” shot of milk (four more). This brings our total to eleven milks, therefore being classified as milk with a little coffee.)
Me: “Here.”
(She takes another sip, and yes. Again, she makes that freaking face.)
Woman: “Look. Extra milk means you put in the regular amount, and then you put in MORE.”
Me: “I know that! That is a SMALL coffee with ELEVEN MILKS!”
Woman: “PUT IN MORE!”
(I put in more another “Medium” shot (three more)).
Me: “Here. The coffee is almost white now.”
(She drinks it again and SPITS IT ALL OVER THE COUNTER.)
Me: “Lady, what’s your problem?”
Woman: “This coffee is cold! I ordered a hot coffee, not a cold coffee! Can you comprehend that?”
Me: “F*** this. Who’s next?”
(My shift leader was laughing in the corner the whole time. She remade this lady’s drink with one large shot of milk and gave it to her. She sipped it…”Ah, now that’s better!”)
(Everyone in line had a pretty good laugh about it.)
Did you find this story using our World Milk Day roundup?
(A customer walks up to the counter and stares at the produce.)
Customer: “Don’t you have any vegetarian sausages?”
Me: “This is a meat counter; we only have meat. We should have some prepacked, though.”
Customer: “But I want to buy from here. Why don’t you sell them?”
Me: “We only have meat on the meat counter, I’m afraid. Is there anything else you would like?”
Customer: “Do you have tofu burgers here?”
Me: “…”
This story is part of our Vegetarian roundup!
Read the next Vegetarian roundup themed story.
Read the Vegetarian roundup!
Customer: “Hey, somebody painted the wall outside the branch I use!”
Me: “Yes, sir. What seems to be the problem?”
Customer: “Well, now I don’t know my PIN number!”
Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not sure what that has to do with the wall being painted.”
Customer: “I wrote my PIN number on the wall beside the ATM! NOW what am I supposed to do?!”
Me: “…”
Customer: “I’m looking for that book by the guy with the hair.”
Me: “The… guy with the hair?”
Customer: “Yeah. I saw it on TV this morning. It has a red cover, I think…”
Me: “What was it about?”
Customer: “Ummm… I think it was about losing weight?”
Me: *making an intuitive leap* “Was it The Ultimate Weight Loss Solution by Dr. Phil McGraw?”
Customer: “That’s it!”
This story is part of our Customers With Super-Vague Requests roundup!
Read the next story in this roundup!
Read the Super-Vague Requests roundup!
