There’s a big meeting at work. It’s some big push about timekeeping. People haven’t been showing up to work on time in the morning or back from breaks; this adds up as a whole line of people are waiting for them, and then suddenly they get hit by a load of work as the first two have to rush to catch up.

I never realised it was an issue, but it makes sense as we get a load of repair work around these times and they look like rushed and bad work. They say that parts cost three times as much after you work out the cost of paying everyone to stand around and then a whole team to repair what should have been right in the first place.

It all kicks off in the break room as I enter.

Worker #1: “So what if I’m a minute late? Who cares?”

Worker #2: “To be fair, you’re always late and it isn’t a minute.”

Worker #1: “Whatever, a minute, four minutes. Why should I lose money?”

Worker #3: “Why are you always late, anyway? You live around the corner.”

Worker #1: “Because that’s what I’m telling you. It doesn’t matter!”

He seems to think a while and then stands up, clearly angry.

Worker #1: “Well, I’m not changing for them. I’m not coming in any earlier. What about you?”

Worker #2: “Nah, you’re on your own.”

Worker #1: “You?”

Worker #3: “No, what they said was fair. I’m going to come in on time.”

Worker #1: “Screw you guys. I’ll do it alone, then.”

Later in the week, I saw him led upstairs twice — I can only assume about his time. He looked so smug, like he was some hero of the people. But the following week, he was there before I was. So much for showing them!

I live in a shared house with some friends. It works pretty well; we take turns and pitch in for most things. One of those is the cooking; we all contribute money and take turns cooking, apart from [Friend #1], who prefers to eat her own food.

This week, it’s [Friend #2]’s turn to cook. I check the plan in the kitchen to see what he’s making tonight and see something odd.

Me: “Hey, [Friend #2], what’s this you’re cooking tonight?”

Friend #2: “Oh, I’m not cooking tonight. [Friend #1] wanted a turn.”

Me: “[Friend #1]? Is she going to start eating with us now?”

Friend #2: “No, she wanted us to try some recipe from her country.”

Me: “Oh, okay. You told her what she can’t use, yeah?”

Friend #2: “I gave her the list, yeah.”

We have a DO NOT USE list of everything we are all allergic to or don’t like. It’s pretty long, so we don’t get to try many new meals, but it’s really important.

I am looking forward to what she will come up with. [Friend #1] serves up dinner and the leftovers for those still at work. It looks great, but something smells unpleasant to me. We eat and it’s bugging me.

Me: “This is great, but I can’t put my finger on what I can taste. Is it leek?”

Friend #1: “No.”

Me: “Fennel?”

Friend #1: “No.”

Me: “It’s not onion, is it?!”

Friend #1: “Yes! It was on the list so I cut it up really small and didn’t put as much in. But it wouldn’t taste the same without it.”

Me: “You can’t use anything on the list, no matter how small you cut it up! [Friend #3] is allergic!”

Friend #1: “I didn’t even put that much in. I don’t know why you’re making so much fuss.”

Me: “I’m making a fuss, because you ignored something to protect your friends. It’s a good job she’s not here.”

Friend #2: “I’ll throw [Friend #3]’s in the bin, just in case.”

Friend #1: “No, don’t throw it away. Really, it is only a little bit. She can pick it out if it’s that big of a deal.”

We were all in shock, especially as we all saw how poorly onions had made [Friend #3] just the year before. It got heated, and [Friend #1] stormed off, accusing us of “bullying” her and threatening to leave the house. Thankfully, we had enough food that night that there was something for [Friend #3] to eat, and we didn’t let [Friend #1] near our food again.

I work at a coffee shop where lattes come with one shot of coffee. A flat white comes with two shots. An extra shot is 50p. I don’t make the prices; I just work there.

Customer: “Can I have a flat white, but can you put it in a bigger cup with latte milk?”

Me: “Okay, so that would be a latte with an extra shot.”

Customer: *Rudely* “No, no, a flat white but in one of those bigger cups and with more milk.”

Me: *Slightly confused* “Okay, sir, that’s [price].”

Customer: “No! It’s a flat white! It should be [lower price]. I shouldn’t have to pay for an extra shot. [Totally Different Coffee Shop] has two shots in their lattes.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. If you want a flat white, I can charge you for a flat white. If you want a latte with an extra shot, I have to charge you for a latte with an extra shot.”

Customer: “Fine, give me a flat white.”

I made it for him and he glared at me like I was the devil the whole time. I might have done it if he hadn’t been so rude about the whole thing.

A new guy starts on a machine that I know has an important task included. Every tenth part gets recorded on a chart. This is massively important as it is a customer and regulatory requirement. Don’t do it and at the end of year there is no evidence to show the customer. They can refuse the parts or claim tens of thousands in costs, or worse, the regulatory body can stop the entire production line down.

Something that seems like a meaningless task has massive consequences. As the manager responsible, I speak to the new guy to introduce myself. Then, I go into detail on the chart.

Me: “Did someone go through the chart with you?”

New Guy: “Oh, yeah. I don’t see the point, though.”

Me: “It is really important for the customer and company.”

I give him a brief explanation and he rolls eyes at me.

New Guy: “Yeah, sure, whatever you say.”

I’m pretty sure he thinks I am yet another manager giving him unimportant work. So many people assume managers are some evil bunch of people that exist to make your life harder, without thinking there might be other reasons for what they ask of you.

I give him a few days and cast an eye over the chart; he hasn’t even started it. I catch him when he returns from his break.

Me: “Listen. We spoke about these charts and I explained why we need to do them.”

New Guy: “Oh, yeah. I forgot.”

Me: “Okay, well, please try to remember, any missing data is an issue. Do you understand how to complete the charts? Are you okay filling them in?”

New Guy: “What? Yeah, obviously.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll leave you to it.”

A week passes before I get a chance to check again, and it looks like he did it on the day I reminded him but then gave up. I again catch up with him.

Me: “These charts must be done; it’s part of the job. I think I have given you plenty of reminders and will escalate this if I catch it not being done again.”

New Guy: “If it’s so important, why don’t you do it?”

Me: “Apart from working across multiple sites, you want me to come down and do your job for you?! No, get it done.”

New Guy: “What’s the point? A bit of paper no one even looks at.”

Me: “It’s a five-minute job, once a day. Look. I’ve already explained why it’s important. I think we’re done here. I will let your boss explain.”

His boss chewed him out in front of everyone, again explaining the importance of the task and of listening to instructions given by me. He seemed to get it, and for a few months, did it without fail.

At the end of the year, the customer was due to fly in within a few days. I grabbed all the paperwork, evidence, and charts. I cast my eye over them and started seeing patterns — the same number in every column, mistakes, and massive gaps.

I couldn’t present these to the customer; they were essentially forged documents. I gave the line manager a call. 

With no other option, he put the new guy in the factory where he had to open up hundreds of boxes and recheck every part, fill in each chart, and repack them. He complained the whole way through and then walked off the site without cause. They brought him back to finish his work and then fired him the next day.

Sometimes things are not what they seem, and companies don’t take it lightly when your laziness threatens a multi-million-pound contract.

It’s the time of year that the company reviews pay. Unfortunately, there has been a major downturn in business that the company is trying to recover from. It makes it a lot harder to justify pay increases.

I have just taken on managing a team. This will be my first round of reviews with them. I start with the youngest team member. The last boss warned me that he was a bit lazy and had zero ambition.

Right at the start of the meeting, he comes out with this.

Team Member: “I’ve been here for three years now; I think I deserve a pay rise.”

Me: “You don’t qualify for pay rises by work time alone; each year we set goals and you meet them to justify the pay increase. Did you get goals set last year?”

Team Member: “I don’t know.”

Me: “I can check. Okay, so you had some set. Let’s see… Okay, good. One. Lateness, no more than three instances of unexcused lateness. Looks like you had some real issues making it in on time last year. How have you done this year?”

Team Member: “Yeah, fine, I think I’ve improved.”

I take a look at the printout; he has done way worse.

Me: “Okay, it looks like that isn’t great. Let’s look at number two. Take on three small tasks that help the department. These all seem easy enough. Have you picked these up?”

Team Member: “Yes.”

Me: “Can you show me?”

Team Member: “No. I didn’t have the chance.”

Me: “Okay, last one. Three: spend at least one hour a month on the e-learning site. Have you done that?”

Team Member: “Err, yes. But I don’t have the certificates.”

Me: “That’s okay; they can be printed off at any time. Should I ask them to?”

Team Member: “No, I don’t think I probably did it. So, do I get a pay rise?”

Me: “I have to justify every penny, and at the moment, that is a hard sell. The first thing they will ask is if you have met all objectives, and you haven’t met one. So, no, I won’t put you forward this year. But we can work together to get your goals complete for next year.”

We had the same conversation again later. I proposed meetings that he didn’t show and asked for updates that he never gave. Eventually, I think he accepted that he didn’t want to do the tiny bit of extra work to get on.