We. Gave You. A List!

, , , , , , | Friendly | April 8, 2021

I live in a shared house with some friends. It works pretty well; we take turns and pitch in for most things. One of those is the cooking; we all contribute money and take turns cooking, apart from [Friend #1], who prefers to eat her own food.

This week, it’s [Friend #2]’s turn to cook. I check the plan in the kitchen to see what he’s making tonight and see something odd.

Me: “Hey, [Friend #2], what’s this you’re cooking tonight?”

Friend #2: “Oh, I’m not cooking tonight. [Friend #1] wanted a turn.”

Me: “[Friend #1]? Is she going to start eating with us now?”

Friend #2: “No, she wanted us to try some recipe from her country.”

Me: “Oh, okay. You told her what she can’t use, yeah?”

Friend #2: “I gave her the list, yeah.”

We have a DO NOT USE list of everything we are all allergic to or don’t like. It’s pretty long, so we don’t get to try many new meals, but it’s really important.

I am looking forward to what she will come up with. [Friend #1] serves up dinner and the leftovers for those still at work. It looks great, but something smells unpleasant to me. We eat and it’s bugging me.

Me: “This is great, but I can’t put my finger on what I can taste. Is it leek?”

Friend #1: “No.”

Me: “Fennel?”

Friend #1: “No.”

Me: “It’s not onion, is it?!”

Friend #1: “Yes! It was on the list so I cut it up really small and didn’t put as much in. But it wouldn’t taste the same without it.”

Me: “You can’t use anything on the list, no matter how small you cut it up! [Friend #3] is allergic!”

Friend #1: “I didn’t even put that much in. I don’t know why you’re making so much fuss.”

Me: “I’m making a fuss, because you ignored something to protect your friends. It’s a good job she’s not here.”

Friend #2: “I’ll throw [Friend #3]’s in the bin, just in case.”

Friend #1: “No, don’t throw it away. Really, it is only a little bit. She can pick it out if it’s that big of a deal.”

We were all in shock, especially as we all saw how poorly onions had made [Friend #3] just the year before. It got heated, and [Friend #1] stormed off, accusing us of “bullying” her and threatening to leave the house. Thankfully, we had enough food that night that there was something for [Friend #3] to eat, and we didn’t let [Friend #1] near our food again.

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