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It’s A Saaaaga

, , , , , | Right | March 31, 2021

I work in a daycare. Our little four-year-old girls are playing on the floor, lying on their bellies and moving some stuffed animals and dolls around. When I move a little closer, I hear them softly singing.

Girl #1: “Here’s a bear! He’s in love with the princess, but he’s just a bear, so what if the princess doesn’t love him back? Buuuuut he’s so big and strong and very, very soooooooft…”

Girl #2: “Theeeeeeeeeee princess doesn’t know the bear is so in looooooooove with her because she is so buuuuusyyyyyy making a new dreeeeesssss… buuuut she loves the bear because he is so soooooooooft… buuuuut she also has a cat who is soooooooft… What are they going to dooooooo?”

Girl #3: “Theeee caaaat was going for a waaaaaaaaalk and then he saw the beaeaear… and the bear was cryyyyyyyyyying and the cat was sooooorry for him, so the cat bumped its head into the bear to tell him that he liiiiiiiiiiked him. Now the bear stopped cryyyyying.”

Girl #2: “And the bear was cuuuuuddling the caaaaaaat…”

Girl #1: “And the princess saaaaaaw them and she went ooooover to them and she wanted to cuddle boooooth of them…”

Girl #2: “And then there was a very nice priiiince who wanted to cuddle them alllll.”

All Three Girls: “They were all so haaaappyyyyyyy!”

Too cute!

Raisin Them Right

, , , , , | Right | March 29, 2021

It’s my birthday and I’m at the daycare where I work. I give the children each a little box of raisins.

Six-Year-Old Boy: “I will not be eating all the raisins. How about I eat half of them now and then I get to eat all those other raisins another time? Now that is a very good idea I have.”

Two minutes later:

Six-Year-Old Boy: “It didn’t exactly work. I did eat all the raisins after all. They are very good raisins, you know. Very good indeed. That’s what made it so hard, of course. I got to eat a lot of raisins now. That was lovely. I enjoyed that very much. I’m all out of raisins now. That’s too bad because maybe I’ll want to eat more raisins later and I won’t be able to now. Oh! You know what, [My Name]? I’ll keep the box! Now isn’t that just the best idea, [My Name]? That way I’ll have the box and I can think about the wonderful raisins I liked so much!”

About two hours later:

Six-Year-Old Boy: “[MY NAME]! I FOUND ONE MORE RAISIN IN THE BOX! I GOT TO EAT ANOTHER RAISIN AFTER ALL!”

That kind of joy for life is my new goal in life now.

Getting Your Just Desserts Isn’t Always Bad

, , , , | Working | March 29, 2021

Since we can’t have a regular Christmas party this year, corporate lets us choose between four dinner packages for two people which will be delivered to our homes. My package arrives and the courier is wearing a three-piece suit, the bag is on a tray, and it’s presented with a flourish. It’s a lovely start, and I mean that sincerely.

Looking over the instructions and unpacking all the items, I notice that there are two starter boxes, two main boxes, and one dessert box. Some of my coworkers received their package earlier and shared pictures, but since they picked different menus, it’s impossible to compare whether mine is complete.

My eye is caught by a line and picture that instructs me to put decorative edible flowers on the dessert. My package contains only one! This adds to my suspicions, but on the other hand, the dessert box looks a bit much for one person.

I end up calling the caterer since, if my package is incomplete, the driver is still nearby, and if it’s complete, I’ll know how to serve it.

I’m told I should indeed have one box for dessert. Only the decoration is incomplete. I thank them, wish them happy holidays, and am fully satisfied.

A few hours later, my doorbell rings. The caterer has brought an entire bouquet of flowers as an apology! I thank them twenty times over and emphasize that this was really not needed. For the next few days, I can’t stop smiling whenever I see the bouquet just for the sheer overstatement.


This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for March 2021!

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Beware The Company You Keep

, , | Right | March 28, 2021

Our company rents houses. Of course, people always think they pay too much and get too little. We are used to irate customers. A man enters the building.

Customer: “I have a complaint!”

Me: “Of course, sir. What is the address?”

Customer: “You should know it by now; I’ve been here time after time!”

Me: “I apologise, sir, I see numerous people a day. It’s impossible for me to remember everything.”

Customer: *Sighs* “It’s [address]. You know, I’ve had it with you people! Things are falling apart in my house! And I pay so much! I pay so much and don’t even have a decent house!”

Me: “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I can’t seem to find the address. You said [address], right?”

Customer: “Yeah, I know where I live! I just moved there!”

Me: “It doesn’t seem to be one of our homes.”

Customer: *Looks around* “Wait… this is [Our Company].”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Customer: “This is not [Other Company].”

Me: “No, it isn’t.”

Customer: *Pauses* “I pay my rent to [Other Company] now… I’m at the wrong office!” *Starts walking away* “Eh, do any of you know how to get to [Other Company]?

Coworker: “Yes, just turn right at the crossroads and then keep on going straight ahead until you reach them.”

Customer: “Thank you. And… please don’t tell [Other Company].”

Me: “We wouldn’t even have the time.”

End Call, THEN Gloat

, , , | Legal | March 25, 2021

I work for the customer service department of a big Dutch webshop. I have an irate customer who keeps on screaming their new Xbox 360 hasn’t arrived. Track and Trace says it was delivered, but the customer insists it was not.

When something that big goes missing, we need to inform the Losses Department, who will contact the carrier and will investigate the issue. I inform the client that I will be doing that and they’ll hear about it in the coming five days.

Most of the time, packages just show up and it was a faulty registration. Anyway, it’s the end of my workday, so I sign off and go home. On my way out, I pass a colleague who has an irate customer. When he confirms the address, I realize he’s talking to my customer.

Since I know this will be his last call, as well, I decide to wait for him so we can complain about customers together. He finishes the call and waits for the client to hang up; we are only allowed to hang up if people forget to do so. He uses this time to add to the case.

Suddenly, my coworker grabs his headphones. His eyes widen. His mouth falls open. Then, I see the line disconnecting. 

Me: “Are you okay?”

Coworker: “They… Oh, my gosh…”

Me: “What?”

Coworker: “They thought they had hung up already! Oh, my gosh… You’ll never guess what I heard!”

Me: *Curious* “What?”

Coworker: “’There! Now we’ll have a free Xbox for sure!’”

Guess which RECORDED call was passed through to the Fraud Department? And guess which delivery address was banned forever, alongside the customer’s account?


This story is part of our Best Of March 2021 roundup!

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