I worked at Blackberry tech support. After activating a customer’s phone:
Me: “Okay, now you need to dial a number and hit ‘send’ to see if you can make a call.”
The call failed. We did some troubleshooting but to no avail. After half an hour of him dialing a number and getting “call failed”:
Me: “Hmm… maybe it’s a problem with who you’re calling. What number are you dialing?”
Customer: “Twelve.”
I work intake for computer repair in the warranty department.
Customer: “I need to send this laptop in for repair.”
Me: “I am sorry, sir, but we can only take Apple products.”
Customer: “This is an Apple product!”
Me: “Sir, that’s a Dell laptop with an Apple sticker logo on it.”
Customer: “Doesn’t that make it Apple?”
A company ordered a 3D animation as a commercial for their product.
Client: “Why is it taking so long?”
Me: “The render time calculates every frame, and there is a lot of liquid physics going on, so it will take some time.”
Client: “Listen, I got an idea. I have a couple of PCs at my house. I will sell them to you cheaply. You can scrap the parts and put them in your PC; that would make things faster.”
Me: “That doesn’t work that way.”
Client: “Why?”
Me: “You can’t take random parts and just put them in another PC to make it faster. And I don’t think those PCs are good enough for 3D rendering.”
Client: “Those are fast PCs! All have I3 processors, and Office opens in like five seconds.”
I just rolled my eyes and pretended I didn’t hear that.
I work remote IT for a medical facility, which is a very high-paced environment. It can be rough some days, but generally, after I ask a few questions, I can do the troubleshooting I need to fix the issue. If not, I can send the case to a team onsite to get the issue resolved.
I got a call today that started out like this.
Me: “Thank you for calling. How can I assist you today?”
Caller: “The CPU was stolen!”
Stealing a CPU for one of these computers requires a lot of time and a lot of work because most of the computers in this location are locked in cages.
Me: “All right, do you see any dented metal or screws lying on the floor?”
Caller: “No. Why would that stuff be there?”
Me: “If a CPU was stolen they we need to unscrew the cage, the case, the fan mount, and potentially the CPU mount.”
Caller: “Well, the HDD (hard disk drive) is saying it’s corrupted!”
Me: “Okay, so is the CPU intact?”
Caller: “No, I’m telling you that the HDD is corrupted! Do you even work with computers?”
Me: “Uh… Okay, can you read off the error that the HDD is giving you?”
Caller: “‘Entering power sleep mode,’ and I can’t get it to show anything else.”
Yeah, so the CPU being stolen… I have no idea what that means. This “HDD” error just means that the computer isn’t getting a video signal. I document what actually is going on and get back to the call.
Me: “Okay, so, from the sounds of the error on the screen, it may be that the cable is loose or bad. Could you please check the cables for me?”
Caller: “Pfft, no, the CPU was stolen, and I already checked the cables!”
Me: “Could you try turning the computer on for me to check to see if any lights pop up?”
Caller: “No, I’m telling you…”
There’s a bit of a scuffle and some random worker comes on the phone.
Worker: “The CPU was stolen, and we need a tech up here to fix it.”
I try to do the same troubleshooting steps to maybe confirm that it is an issue with a cable or it’s not plugged in, but…
Worker: “Look here. I know more about computers than you do, and when I say that the CPU was stolen, I know it, and on top of that, our HDD is saying it’s corrupt!”
I mute myself, sigh, and smack my head.
Me: “Okay, I’ll send a tech over to take a look at it.”
Worker: “There, was that so hard?!” *Click*
Sometimes the only way to win is to lose. I checked back on the case a little bit ago and saw the solution the techs gave.
Techs: “Went to site, turned on computer.”
This was five or six years ago. Apple and Google Pay had not long been introduced here in the UK when these incidents happened. I had a smartphone, so I was able to use that brand’s mobile payment app with no worries.
Though the only “limit” is what you personally have in your bank account at that time, at this time — and for some stores who had not taken up [Mobile Payment] — the limit was set to £30, the contactless limit.
I went into a shop and got a “meal deal” and some things for the house. The meal deal consisted of a sandwich, a drink, and a snack pack of crisps for £3. My total came to around £12 overall, and I advised that I wanted to pay via card.
The cashier totaled it, I did the [Mobile Payment] thing, and my phone beeped. The payment went through, the cashier’s drawer opened, and the receipt printed, indicating that the payment was okay.
Cashier #1: “What?! What just happened?”
Me: “I used my card. It’s on my phone—” *points to it* “—so I just use it as an ordinary card payment.”
Cashier #1: “NO! You are trying to steal from us! You did not present your card!”
During the transaction, the supervisor was behind her filling the cigarettes and lotto scratch cards, so they had seen the whole thing.
Supervisor: “Sir, I know you’re not trying to steal. I use [Mobile Payment], too. I know you have paid, so feel free to go. I think I have some staff training to do.”
Me: “Thanks!”
I have been there several times since then, but the first time I went there after this incident, the same cashier was there. She just gave me a look and I said:
Me: “Don’t worry, I am not stealing; I will use my magical phone!”
She did not find that funny.
A few weeks after this, I was with my mother at a different shop buying some furniture and garden stuff that came to £30.
“Great!” I thought.
I tapped the phone, beep it went, and I paid for it.
Once the receipt printed, the cashier looked at me, the till, the receipt, me, the till, my phone, and me before finally taking the receipt and handing it to me.
Me: “Isn’t [Mobile Payment] a wonderful thing?”
Cashier #2: “Sorry, but is that what you did with your phone? Paid?”
Me: “Aye, set it up a few weeks ago. I can use it for unlimited payments for shops that support it, for any transaction of £30 or less.”
Cashier #2: “I have heard of it, but I haven’t seen anyone use it. Now I know it works! Looks simple.”
Me: “It is!”
We said our goodbyes, and Mother and I left.
[Mobile Payment] can be confusing, folks. Just don’t go stealing from people, eh?
