In the shop where I work, we have a meat stand where we slice cheeses and hams but also serve raw meat, mince it, cut it — however the customer wants. We also have a big oven where we bake frozen bread rolls and breads. It’s a big shop, but there were only three of us on a shift.

I was serving a customer in the meat section, and the oven started beeping, signalling that the bread rolls were baked. I opened it so they wouldn’t burn and got back to the customer. Before I even finished packing up his order, he asked me:

Customer: “How many workers are in this shop?”

Me: “Three. I’m here in the meat section, and two of us are at the cash register, so you should be checked out in no time.”

Customer: “Well, why isn’t anybody taking the bread rolls out the oven?”

Me: “…Because my coworkers are on the other side of the shop.”

Customer: “Why aren’t you doing it?”

Me: “I’m packing your meat order, sir, so the bread rolls have to wait.”

Customer: “Well, I want them now!”

I nodded, went to the oven, put the gloves on, and got the bread rolls out. Six trays needed to be taken care of. As I was doing so, the customer started screaming that he didn’t have all day, and why the f*** would I just stop packing up his order?

He did not get bread rolls that day.

Related:
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 28
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 27
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 26
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 25
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 24

I’m an American English teacher in a European country. It’s the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and I go out for lunch at one of my favorite cafes during a break between classes. While I’m eating, an American couple about my age sits at the table next to me.

Woman: “So, where are we going to get our Thanksgiving turkey dinner?”

Man: “I don’t know. I’m trying to Google it, but I’m not finding any results for good places to go.”

They carry on like this for a while, and against my better judgment, I finally intervene.

Me: “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I’m afraid you won’t find any place in [City] that has an American-style Thanksgiving dinner. You can probably find most of the ingredients in a grocery store to make it yourself if you have a way to do that.”

Man: “We’re here on vacation, so cooking isn’t an option. Why don’t any restaurants have it?”

Me: “Well… [Country] doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving. That’s pretty much only an American holiday.”

Woman: “Wait… what? That’s so stupid. How can they not celebrate Thanksgiving? That’s so un-American!”

Man: “What about you? You sound American. Where are you going for Thanksgiving dinner?”

Me: “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll video-chat with my family, but other than that, it’s just business as usual over here.”

Man: “How about you cook something up for us, and we’ll come over and celebrate since we seem to be the only three Americans here?”

Me: “No. I have classes all day and other plans at night. In fact, I have to get back to work soon. Nice talking!”

I got up and left before they could say anything else. It was lucky that I didn’t run into them anywhere else the next few days because I really didn’t want to have that conversation again.

A company ordered a 3D animation as a commercial for their product.

Client: “Why is it taking so long?”

Me: “The render time calculates every frame, and there is a lot of liquid physics going on, so it will take some time.”

Client: “Listen, I got an idea. I have a couple of PCs at my house. I will sell them to you cheaply. You can scrap the parts and put them in your PC; that would make things faster.”

Me: “That doesn’t work that way.”

Client: “Why?” 

Me: “You can’t take random parts and just put them in another PC to make it faster. And I don’t think those PCs are good enough for 3D rendering.”

Client: “Those are fast PCs! All have I3 processors, and Office opens in like five seconds.”

I just rolled my eyes and pretended I didn’t hear that.

I go to a popular fast food chain for lunch. This chain used to have a double burger with two meat patties, but now they only have the single-patty version. You can make a special request for an extra patty to make your own double burger, for a small price.

I put in the request for an extra patty but do not get it; my burger is only the standard single-patty version. I go to the cashier to complain.

Me: “Hello. I ordered an extra burger patty on my [burger] but did not get one. Here is the burger I got.”

Of course, I took a bite of my burger before discovering that it only had one patty, so there is a bite missing.

Cashier: “I can’t give you a replacement; you’ve already eaten your burger.”

Me: “I took one bite and realized it was wrong. I did not eat all of it.”

Cashier: “That’s definitely a [burger], so it’s not wrong.”

Me: “It is wrong. It was supposed to have two patties, but it only has one.”

Cashier: “We only have the single-patty [burger] now. We stopped doing the double [burger] a few weeks ago.”

Me: “Yes, I know. But I ordered an extra patty for my burger. You can see that on my receipt and on the wrapper for the burger.”

I show her both, which both clearly say, “[Burger] plus extra patty”.

Cashier: “We stopped doing the double [burger] a few weeks ago, so [burger] only comes with one patty.”

I asked for a manager then, and the manager understood my complaint and gave me a replacement burger that had two patties and was correct.

An employee and CEO are having a small talk in the kitchen. The employee is fairly new and has no idea who he’s talking to.

Employee: “So, how long have you been working for [Company]?”

CEO: “Um, about seven years.”

Employee: “Oh, my… I’m so sorry for you!”