Unable To Understand Your Con-Text

, , , , , | Right | December 22, 2017

(I work at my company’s in-house IT help desk. A few months ago we switched our mobile service provider, and now every employee only has limited — but combined — mobile data volume for their phone and laptop. Once the volume is used up, they get a text message informing them that their bandwidth is now reduced quite a bit. While every employee can order new gigabytes by simply replying to the notification, sending a simple text message to our provider, or checking a web portal, a member of our higher management seems to be too stressed out by this procedure one day and calls us.)

Me: *picking up phone* “Hello, this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Employee: “Yes, hello, my Internet is really slow. I already called [Provider] and they said I didn’t get a notification message because of some maintenance work. Now I can’t reply to the message and get new data volume.”

Me: “Ah, okay. No problem at all. You can also just send a text message saying, ‘[simple word],’ to [number]. Or use your phone to go to [Web Portal] to check your status and buy new data volume there.”

Employee: “But I didn’t get a message! Can’t you call [Provider] and tell them to send the notification message again?”

Me: *slightly irritated* “Um, like I said, you just need to text ‘[simple word]’ to [number] or check the webpage.”

Employee: *starting to get annoyed* ”No, no. I’m at a big event and right in the middle of a meeting. I can’t handle composing a whole message right now. Can’t you just call them and have them send me the notification again so that I can reply to it?”

Me: *a bit dumbfounded while processing that request* ”Well, um, like I said, you… could just send a text message yourself… right now.”

Employee: *in a slightly aggressive tone* “So, what you are telling me is that you refuse to call [Provider]? That you don’t want to call them?”

Me: *still in disbelief* “Well, of course I can call [Provider] for you, but that way you will still have to send a text message. The process on your end will pretty much be the same.”

Employee: “Great, just call them and let them send the notification again! Thanks.” *hangs up*

Me: “…”

(I wound up calling our provider and booking new data volume for the employee myself. Afterwards I wrote an email with detailed instructions on how to get new gigabytes yourself and sent it to the employee. With all the waiting in line, dealing with robots and the call center employee, and writing the email, I spent about 40 minutes on what could have been done with a simple text message in less than ten seconds.)

Unfiltered Story #101513

, , | Unfiltered | December 8, 2017

(A customer calls in and sounds a little drunk. In order to pull up accounts to begin help we need either the account number, name, phone number or address I avoid address due to strange spelling for street mains.)

Me: “Can I get your account number?”

Customer: “I don’t know it.”

Me: “How about phone number?”

(We proceed to try three different numbers and nothing works.)

Me: “Alright, sir, how about your address?”

Customer: *walks outside to read numbers of the house* “It’s [address not including zip code].”

Me: “And the zip code?”

Customer: “Jesus f****** Christ! Do you even know your f****** zip code!?”

Me: *politely* “Well, yes sir, I do.”

Customer: “Bull f****** s***. Let me talk to your manager! You should be fired!”

(Turns out he didn’t have service with us.)

Maybe 40 Is His IQ?

, , , , | Right | December 5, 2017

(I am doing Internet tech support over the phone.)

Me: “I’d like you check if you can see your WiFi name now, please.”

Customer: *too fast to have re-checked the list* “It’s still not there.”

Me: “Okay, can I have you just refresh the list, please?”

Customer: *angrily* “I don’t know how to do that! I’m forty! I don’t know anything about all this technology stuff!”

(I managed to refrain from telling him that I am forty-three, and not only am I not the oldest in the call centre, one of my coworkers left retirement to come and work with us! There are many excuses for being ignorant about technology, but being middle-aged isn’t one of them.)

I Don’t Give A Netflux

, , , , | Working | November 24, 2017

(One of the major ISPs in Indonesia, who’s also the main telecommunications provider, is blocking Netflix since its expansion, due to Netflix’s refusal to share its revenue with the ISP. To compensate, they provide their own rip-off streaming services, but the service is really bad. One day I decide to stop my subscription, since they’re blocking Netflix, and also due to their really silly Internet filter. If we cancel our subscription, we could also lose our landline, and I don’t want to lose it, so I need to make sure.)

Me: “Hello, I want to cancel my subscription to your Internet service. But I have one question: would I lose my landline number?”

ISP: “All right, ma’am. Could you tell us the reason you’re ending your subscription?”

Me: “I can’t watch Netflix. You block them.”

ISP: “Sorry, but they’re not our product. To stream movies and TV series, we suggest [Rip-Off Streaming Service #1] and [Rip-Off Streaming Service #2]. Have you reconsidered?”

Me: “YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter are not your products, either, but I can still access them; why is that? Besides, your streaming service is really poor, and it crashes most of the time.”

ISP: “Netflix doesn’t cooperate with us, but the other sites have.”

Me: “So, you decided to just block them?”

ISP: “Netflix’s content is full of violence, so we decided not to cooperate with them.”

Me: “But [Rip-Off Streaming Service #1] and [Rip-Off Streaming Service #2] have also provided violent content in their service. To be fair, the responsibility of filtering content is the customer’s responsibility, and I’m capable of it.”

ISP: *ignoring my comment* “I’m sorry, ma’am. They’re not compliant to this country’s regulation.”

Me: “First you say it’s because they don’t cooperate with you, then you say that it’s because their content is violent, then you say that they’re not compliant with regulations? Which one is true?”

ISP: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we have [Rip-Off Streaming Service #1] and [Rip-Off Streaming Service #2] with quality movies; have you reconsidered?”

Me: “…”

(I guess I won’t mind losing my phone number, then.)

Unfiltered Story #100572

, , | Unfiltered | November 20, 2017

(I just moved to night shift. Our unofficial team leader (he was the most skilled guy there but didn’t have title of TL) is showing me some differences on night shift:)

Not-Team-Leader: “And the last thing. If you forget to lock your screen when you will go for smoke do not worry. We are not like day shift, we do not touch each others machine. We are straight men. We might be pr*cks and di*ks but we are not f****** a**-holes.”

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