Will Keep Bugging You

, , | Working | September 26, 2017

(I’ve published for years with a particular online company, with excellent results. My most recent project, however, is not working—text won’t flow onto the pages, and so forth. After multiple attempts at email support over a couple of weeks, the tech sets up a live chat consultation. He tries several things, all of which I’ve already attempted. He expresses surprise each time it doesn’t work, and I occasionally cheerfully interject, “Welcome to my world.” Finally, after close to two hours with no result of any sort:)

Tech: “Well, it’s obviously a bug. And I need to work with other customers now.”

Me: “I refuse to feel guilty for taking your time, as we have not solved my issue.”

Tech: “Well, it’s a bug. You’ll have to figure out a work-around. Good-bye!” *click*

Need To Reset The Staff

, , , | Working | September 25, 2017

(My employer has decided to improve [read: ridiculously complicate] our IT systems by adding several additional features, all of which require a new password. Along with our standard login password, we now have three more to remember. Due to the nature of my work, however, I only care to remember my main login, due it renewing every 90 days. I’m having latency issues with my PC to the point that I have to stop typing every couple of seconds to allow the computer to catch up. I don’t have the privileges to try and fix it myself, so have to go through IT. The email they previously used to help has been replaced with one of said systems, and having forgotten the password, I call the help desk to get it reset.)

IT: “Ticket number?”

Me: “Hi, I don’t have one. I just need my help desk password reset so I—”

IT: “Without a ticket, I’m not permitted to help you. Please log into the help desk and launch a ticket.”

Me: “I will, but I need to reset the password bec—” *click*

(I phone back and get the same woman. I try, desperately, to explain the situation.)

IT: “I hate you non-IT types. Looks like I’ll have to talk you through it STEP BY STEP! LOOK FOR A BLUE—”

Me: I’m already on the help desk login page.”

IT: “GOOD… NOW, TYPE IN YOUR EMAIL—” *said really slowly* “IN THE BOX NEXT TO ‘EMAIL ADDRESS.’”

Me: “Already there.”

(This continues, as she methodically goes through the entire process of launching a ticket, while failing to notice me saying, “I need my password reset,” after she finishes every sentence. It eventually goes quiet for about a minute.)

IT: “You managed it?”

Me: “I’m still at the login screen…”

IT: *whispers* “For f***’s sake…” *shouts* “LOOK FOR A—”

Me: “Can I ask you a question?”

IT: *caught off guard* “Ugh, okay?”

Me: “What did I call you for?”

IT: “…”

Me: “Well?”

IT: “Umm…” *paper rustling* “…a password reset?”

Me: “Exactly.”

IT: “You need to launch a— WAIT! You want to reset your password?”

Me: “YES!”

IT: “What’s your email address?”

(She got the password reset, and I launched a ticket for my actual issue. Thankfully it wasn’t assigned to her and a new PC was sent out to me. Overall, I was on that last call with her for about half an hour. If only she was paying attention.)

Well, Since Phones Are Only Used For Texting These Days…

, , , | Working | September 21, 2017

(In the next cubicle over, I overhear a fellow IT employee, attempting to help an employee in another department:)

IT Employee: “Could you hold your phone a little closer to the screen so I can see what you’re talking about?”

Client Server

, , , | Working | September 20, 2017

(I’m in an internship in Laptop Repair and Assistance in my high school. We usually refer to the students that need their laptop fixed as just students.)

Me: *goes into my manager’s office for a question* “Hey, I was examining my client’s laptop when I saw—”

Manager: *surprised* Wait, wait, wait… Did… Did you just refer to a student as a client?”

Me: “Well, yeah…”

Manager: “I am so proud of you…”

No Cable Makes You A Cry-Baby(sitter)

, , , | Related | September 20, 2017

(A customer has a bad signal issue that we have to dispatch a technician for during a busy part of the year.)

Me: “We have an opening in two days.”

Customer: “Two days?! No cable for two days? Well, who’s gonna watch my kids?!”

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