Internet Is Down And They Are Out

| Mexicali, Mexico | Right | May 3, 2017

(My job consists of going to people’s houses and performing repairs on their Internet service. Sometimes customers defy belief. I am on one of my visits. After knocking on the door for several minutes a very young boy, about six or seven years old, pokes his head out.)

Kid: “Hi?”

Me: “Hi, I am with [Internet provider]. Did your mom ask for help?”

Kid: ” Let me see…”

(The kid goes in the back. I can clearly hear the following conversation, as the voice of an older woman is rather loud.)

Older Woman: “Tell him we are not here.”

(The boy pokes his head out.)

Boy: “We are not here.”

(I am trying not to laugh.)

Me: “Well, do you know when your mom is getting back?”

(The kid turns back and asks the older lady who is obviously not there.)

Boy: “When are they getting back?”

Older Woman: “I don’t know.”

Boy: “She doesn’t know.”

Me: *stifling laughter* “Okay, I will wait for a bit.”

(The kid’s mom and the owner of the house arrived about 15 minutes later. The older woman, apparently the grandmother, sat there shamelessly the whole time, and not once did she address the situation.)

Are We There Yet? Are We There Yet?

, | Bellevue, WA, USA | Working | May 2, 2017

(I’m the resident network admin at our office. Far too often the following seems to happen whenever someone needs access to one of our databases: I get an email saying Employee needs access to Database. Before I even have a chance to read the details, an IM pops up on my screen:)

Employee: “Hey, did you see my request?”

Me: “Yes, it just popped up.”

Employee: “Oh, okay. Well, I need access to [Database].”

Me: “Yes, I’m reading that now.”

Employee: “Okay, thanks. I’m coming over.”

(Seconds later the employee physically walks to my desk.)

Employee: “So, you got my email right?”

Me: “I just said I did.”

Employee: “Have you done it yet?”

Me: “Um… It’s barely been two minutes since you sent the request. Give me a chance to read through it then I’ll get it in the system and send you confirmation.”

Employee: “Oh, okay.”

(They walk back to their desk, then almost immediately ping me on IM again.)

Employee: “Is it done yet?”

Feeding Their Opinions

, | CA, USA | Working | May 1, 2017

(I work for a tech company in their call center. Because it’s a call center, they often bring in free food to boost morale. It’s usually pizza, which is my absolute favorite food. I also tend to be a very fast walker. This means that I’m almost always the first one to the pizza table. I can’t help it; little things excite me. I guess this is enough to catch the eye of a supervisor who has never even supervised my team.)

Supervisor: “There goes [My Name]. She’s always first to get the pizza!”

(Or one time, when I walked past her desk and noticed some candy, I asked politely if I might have some.)

Supervisor: “Well, this candy is for MY team only, but if you insist.”

Me: *starts to decline, walk away*

Supervisor: “You already asked, so you might as well take some.”

(It’s gotten to the point now where she makes a comment every time she sees me eating something. One day very recently, she was walking through the rows with cupcakes.)

Me: *puts on my headset and focuses heavily on my screen, to avoid conversation with her*

Supervisor: “[My Name], cupcake.”

Me: *puts on a polite smile and shakes my head* “No, thanks!”

Supervisor: “WOW. Really?! That’s gotta be the first time I’ve ever heard you say no to food!” *starts to leave, then looks back* “No offense.”

User Confuser

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Right | April 28, 2017

Me: “[Company] help desk. This is [My Name.] How can I help you?”

User: “Nothing is working.”

(After a few moments of troubleshooting I determine that another technician was working on her computer, and the user can’t log in because she’s attempting to use her password with his name.)

Me: “Okay, so what you need to do is to click the ‘switch user’ button.”

User: “That’s what he told me to do earlier, but it doesn’t work.”

Me: “Can you describe to me what you see when you press that button?”

User: “There’s two squares on the screen, one says [Technician] and the other says ‘Log in as other user.’ ”

Me: “Okay… so, select ‘log in as other user.'”

User: “But I’m not ‘other user’! I’m ME!”

Laptop Flop, Part 8

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Working | April 28, 2017

(At our company, most people still use desktops, but we can issue laptops to people who need to travel, work remotely, or present a lot of meetings. We have a limited number of laptops to give out, so they are always in high demand, but I think this request took the cake…)

User: “I do work at two different departments within the company, so I need to travel back and forth inside the building frequently. I would like another desk to be set up with monitors, mouse, and keyboard, and a phone at my second location. In addition, I’d like a second laptop, so that I don’t have to carry my laptop between desks.”

Related:
Laptop Flop, Part 7
Laptop Flop, Part 6
Laptop Flop, Part 5

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