No Wonder They Were Transferred

, , | Right | August 13, 2018

Me: “You’re speaking to [My Name] on tech support. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Did you not speak to your colleague?”

Me: “I do apologise, but no one has spoken to me before transferring you through. How can I help?”

Customer: “Go back and speak to your colleague to explain the problem; I am not going through it again!”

Me: “I’m very sorry that this has happened, but I have no way of knowing who transferred you through to me. I am more than happy to help you if you let me know what the problem is.”

Customer: “FOR F***’S SAKE! I’M F****** SICK OF THIS S***!”

Me: “Again, I am really sorry that this has happened. Please remember that I did not do this to you and just want to help fix your problem.”

Customer: “F*** YOU!” *hangs up*

(Clearly there is no helping some people.)

I Can Haz Emailz?

, , , | Working | August 2, 2018

(My company is currently having issues with emails after upgrading to a new system. There is a temporary workaround; however, only IT personnel are able to do it as it requires admin privileges. I am currently in an office installing a printer when I get a tap on my shoulder.)

Coworker: “My emails don’t work.”

Me: “I know. It’s a recurring issue. They should be back up in a day or so.”

Coworker: “But I have a really important email I need to send.”

Me: “Okay. I can restore them, but if you close [Program] or restart your PC, you will lose them again as the settings will reset. Also, if you’re sending it to internal addresses, they won’t receive it until we’ve fixed the issue on our end.”

Coworker: “That’s fine. It’s an external email.”

(I go ahead and configure his settings. I stand over him to make sure that the email will send. I then see him type in a personal email address. He then pastes a picture into the email and sends it. It’s a picture of a cat facing into a box with, “INTERESTING,” along the bottom. I stare at him, confused.)

Coworker: *smiling* “Thanks for that. I need to go; I’m late for a meeting.”

(He ran off, leaving his PC logged in — not even locked — which is against company policy. I closed his emails down and restarted his PC. The next day, my colleague got a call and left the office. When he got back he told of how he fixed a guy’s emails, only for him to send an email to himself with a picture of Bubbles from The Powerpuff Girls. The guy is now on a blacklist, which means any problems he has with IT have to be submitted by his line manager.)

At One Point Apple Users Were All Sixes And Sevens

, , , , | Right | July 26, 2018

(I work for a company that does tech repairs. One day we get a customer asking if we do phone repairs.)

Customer: “Hi, do you do phone repairs?”

Me: “Yes, we do. What is it?”

Customer: “Oh, it’s a six.”

Me: “Which phone?”

Customer: “Just a normal six.”

(Eventually she clicked and told me it was an iPhone 6.)

What Books Have They Been Redding?

, , , , , , | Working | July 26, 2018

(I work in IT. I am on a call with an intern who needs a laptop sent down to her. She is giving me the address of her office, as it is not classed as a head office, and therefore is not on our directory.)

Intern: *giving address* “It’s [Number], [Street], the town of Reading.”

(She pronounces it as though you were “reading” a book. I repeat the address back, saying Reading as you are meant to say it, with the “read” being pronounced like “red.”)

Intern: “Uh, no, it’s ‘reading.’ Get it right or it won’t get here.”

Me: “I know it’s spelt, ‘reading,’ but it is pronounced with a ‘red’ instead of ‘read.’ It won’t really matter, as the postcode should tell the courier where it needs to go.”

Intern: “JUST GET IT RIGHT. I’M NOT BEING PUNISHED FOR YOUR STUPIDITY!” *slams the phone down*

(Ignoring the outburst, I send the laptop down. I included Reading in the address, and I received confirmation that it was received and signed for. The intern left six months later and the laptop was returned. When I opened the laptop, I found an entire Wikipedia article printed out and squished between the monitor and keyboard. The article was for a city in California called Redding, with a sticky note telling me to “learn my geography.” I had a good laugh over it with the rest of the department.)

Five-Hour Gap In Your Geography

, , , , , | Working | July 19, 2018

(I call a tech company that is based in the USA. I’m in Canada.)

Tech Company: “Just drop into our nearest store and we can do this.”

Me: “That won’t happen.”

Tech Company: “What do you mean? It is just the next town over, right?”

Me: “Yes… which is about five hours away.”

Tech Company: “What do you mean? It’s the next town; it can’t be that far.”

Me: “You do realize how far apart cities are here in Canada, right?”

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