Vice-President Of Voicemail

, , , | Right | August 24, 2018

(Working in tech support means that you often get gems, which makes sense when you consider that I handle maybe twenty to thirty calls a night. Recently, I had one call that made me really wonder HOW people manage to get high-paying jobs… without understanding the simplest actions. After a spiel about the company, and getting a user ID to look the client up:)

Me: “What is the nature of your problem?”

Client: *agitated* “I can’t access my voicemail! I need you to unlock it or reset my PIN!”

Me: “Okay, that’s not hard. Just need to verify—”

Client: “Verify? What do you mean verify?”

Me: “Company rules. I just need to be sure you are who you say you are.”

Client: “Can’t my assistant just do this?”

Me: “No. It has to be you.”

(I ask for verification of identity, and then start checking some things.)

Client: “What’s taking so long?! I’m a Vice President, and it shouldn’t take this long!”

Me: “VP or not, sir, I still have to isolate your identity from the list of some three thousand people with the same name, and then change the PIN. It’s going to take me a bit of time, so bear with me.”

Client: “Fine… Whatever.”

(After resetting his PIN, I have him give it a go, only to have it not work. We try this a second time, and it still doesn’t work.)

Client: “Stupid. You can’t do anything right!”

Me: *staying civil, as calls are recorded* “It’s odd that it’s not working… Tell me, what exactly are you doing when you log in?”

Client: “The same thing I do every time, you stupid muppet! I press mail on the phone, then star, and then enter the pin! What do you think I’m doing?”

Me: *inwardly* “Making me want to hang up on you.” *to client* “Okay, there’s a couple options here. Let me just put you on hold a moment and check with someone on this.”

(I quickly put the client on hold, and call up the telecom agents. After relating the client’s name, and his trouble, the telecom agent groans and says:)

Telecom: “Him… Again? Bloody h***. Tell that stupid wanker to quit pushing the star key. I walked him through that twice already, and he’s not figured out that it doesn’t work the way he wants it to.”

Me: *laughing* “I can’t tell him that.”

(After a few moments, the telecom agent asks me to put him on the line with the client and me. I do the transfer, and introduce the telecom agent. At this point the client seems to calm down, and even get a bit sheepish.)

Telecom: “VP? We’ve talked about this with you no less than three times now, and I’ll say it again. STOP PUSHING THE D*** STAR KEY!”

Client: “I… sorry. I…” *hangs up*

(In the end, I had to put a resolution to the problem, knowing full well that the client, and his direct supervisor, would be given a copy of the ticket. In the resolution field, I wrote, “Client complained that he could not access his voicemail. After repeated tries, I contacted Telecom, and was informed that client was disregarding instructions on how to access his voicemail. Client has been informed that he is not to continue pushing buttons on the phone, as doing so is not required, nor advised, for the accessing of his voicemail.”)


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Wi-Fi Fly By

, , , , | Right | August 23, 2018

I work at a phone and Internet company. An older lady called in requesting a credit because her service had not worked for several weeks. After speaking with her for a bit, I realized that she had been visiting her daughter for the past several weeks, took her laptop with her, and expected the Internet to come with her.

After explaining to her that DSL was specific to her location and would only work in her home, she flat-out told me that I was wrong because she had previously taken it to a hotel with her. Again, I tried to explain that the hotel had a separate account, with their own rates, specifically for their guests to use.

Again, I was told, “You’re flat-out wrong.”

All I could do was chuckle and send her to our repair department as requested so they could explain the same thing and probably also have a laugh.

Pre-Disorder

, , , , | Right | August 18, 2018

(I work for a video game company doing technical support. Our customers are quick to complain, and as you can imagine, they can be particularly difficult, and often do not think twice about demanding… well, anything.)

Customer: ”I didn’t receive my pre-order bonus items; where are they?!”

Me: ”I’m sorry to hear that, sir. Did you pre-order the game?”

Customer: ”I bought it on the day of release.”

Me: ”Okay, sir, I’m afraid you need to have pre-ordered the game to receive the pre-order bonus items.”

Customer: ”BUT I WANT THEM! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IF I WANT THEM?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but there’s nothing I can do if you didn’t pre-order the items that are pre-order only.”

Customer: ”Thanks for nothing. This is the worst service I have ever received!”

(The customer hung up the phone and sent several abusive messages to us afterwards. I was just surprised that he didn’t understand that you had to pre-order to gain pre-order items.)

No Wonder They Were Transferred

, , | Right | August 13, 2018

Me: “You’re speaking to [My Name] on tech support. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Did you not speak to your colleague?”

Me: “I do apologise, but no one has spoken to me before transferring you through. How can I help?”

Customer: “Go back and speak to your colleague to explain the problem; I am not going through it again!”

Me: “I’m very sorry that this has happened, but I have no way of knowing who transferred you through to me. I am more than happy to help you if you let me know what the problem is.”

Customer: “FOR F***’S SAKE! I’M F****** SICK OF THIS S***!”

Me: “Again, I am really sorry that this has happened. Please remember that I did not do this to you and just want to help fix your problem.”

Customer: “F*** YOU!” *hangs up*

(Clearly there is no helping some people.)

I Can Haz Emailz?

, , , | Working | August 2, 2018

(My company is currently having issues with emails after upgrading to a new system. There is a temporary workaround; however, only IT personnel are able to do it as it requires admin privileges. I am currently in an office installing a printer when I get a tap on my shoulder.)

Coworker: “My emails don’t work.”

Me: “I know. It’s a recurring issue. They should be back up in a day or so.”

Coworker: “But I have a really important email I need to send.”

Me: “Okay. I can restore them, but if you close [Program] or restart your PC, you will lose them again as the settings will reset. Also, if you’re sending it to internal addresses, they won’t receive it until we’ve fixed the issue on our end.”

Coworker: “That’s fine. It’s an external email.”

(I go ahead and configure his settings. I stand over him to make sure that the email will send. I then see him type in a personal email address. He then pastes a picture into the email and sends it. It’s a picture of a cat facing into a box with, “INTERESTING,” along the bottom. I stare at him, confused.)

Coworker: *smiling* “Thanks for that. I need to go; I’m late for a meeting.”

(He ran off, leaving his PC logged in — not even locked — which is against company policy. I closed his emails down and restarted his PC. The next day, my colleague got a call and left the office. When he got back he told of how he fixed a guy’s emails, only for him to send an email to himself with a picture of Bubbles from The Powerpuff Girls. The guy is now on a blacklist, which means any problems he has with IT have to be submitted by his line manager.)


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