(I get a phone call from my daughter’s school.)

Caller: “Mr. [My Name], we believe your daughter may have been in a fight at school. However, she is refusing to say anything. Would you mind coming along to get this sorted?”

Me: “My wife works closer to school; I’ll call her. Why do you think our daughter was in a fight?”

Caller: “She came into her English lesson with a nosebleed.”

Me: “She gets those from time to time.”

Caller: “We believe she was in a fight.”

Me: “Was there anything else to suggest she was?”

Caller: “She came into her lesson with a nosebleed.”

Me: “Yes, I know that. What else?”

Caller: “That’s it.”

Me: “And you say she said nothing?”

Caller: “That she had a nosebleed.”

Me: “So, my daughter came into her lesson, with a nosebleed, said it was a nosebleed, and there was nothing else to suggest she was in a fight.”

Caller: “She had a nosebleed.”

Me: “I’m curious; can you check my daughter’s record, as we requested that her frequent nosebleeds be noted down?”

Caller: “Yes, it’s here. I had to pull up her record to get your phone number.”

Me: “And you still think she was in a fight?”

Caller: “Yes.”

(I give in and call my wife. When I get home that evening, she’s having an argument on the phone.)

Wife: “I don’t care. I don’t want someone like that at my daughter’s school! A cabbage would be smarter than her!”

Daughter: *whispering to me* “We all call her ‘cabbage’ after she photocopied an entire book without collating it.”

(After she hung up, my wife refused to tell me what happened at school, saying she’d already lost enough brain cells, and sadly my daughter wasn’t in the room at that point, so I may never find out.)

(I’m at a college class and the teacher is going through a Powerpoint presentation.)

Teacher: *looks at the current slide* “Huh, that’s not right. Surprised nobody caught that. Never just accept what I say without question, especially if you think it’s wrong.”

Student: “But you’re a teacher.”

Teacher: “That is a very dangerous mindset to have.”

This story is part of our Teacher Appreciation Week roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Tales That Show How Teachers Do Way More Than Just Teach

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Student #1: “Did you realize [Professor] did his doctoral work in England, and knows lots of really cool people? He just got back from New York, and went backstage to see Peter O’Toole. They were long-time drinking buddies.”

Student #2: “Do you realize that Peter O’Toole is a double-phallic name?”

(This takes place in my history class. [Girl #1] walks up to our male teacher to ask to go to the bathroom. I am also a girl.)

Girl #1: “Um, can I go to the bathroom?”

Teacher: “What? No; you just had a 45 minute lunch break!”

([Girl #1] purses her lips but goes and sits down. A girl who sits behind her and in front of me suddenly pulls out a tampon.)

Girl #2: “Mr. [Teacher]?”

Teacher: “Yeah?”

Girl #2: “You want to know why she couldn’t go to the bathroom during the lunch break?”

(At this point she starts waving the tampon around.)

Girl #2: “Because she didn’t have this with her at lunch!”

Teacher: “Oh, yea-“

(He suddenly looks up and his eyes widened.)

Teacher: “Go to the bathroom.”

([Girl #1] gets up, embarrassed.)

Girl #1: “Thanks, [Girl #2]!”

(She leaves to go to the bathroom, and a couple moments later a boy asks to go to the bathroom. Our teacher says no, and when said boy points out that [Girl #1] got to go, he says:)

Teacher: “Well, you don’t have the same reason!”

(I lost it.)

(It is the 1990s. I am ten years old, and my family has recently moved because of my mother’s job. At my old school, many of the teachers were strict and never forgot to collect the assignments that were due that day. Naturally, I assume this is the norm of all teachers in general, so I am surprised that my new teacher regularly forgets to collect the previous night’s homework. Not wanting to be penalized for turning homework in late, I go up to her at the end of class and ask where I should turn it in, only for her to “remember” and have the class turn everything in. This goes on for a few weeks before some of my classmates come up to me at my desk prior to the start of school.)

Classmate #1: “You need to stop running to [Teacher] and reminding her about the homework. Because of you, [Teacher] called our parents and we all got in trouble. I now have to miss my favorite shows just to do the stupid assignments.”

Classmate #2: “My parents took my video games away for two whole weeks.”

Me: “So, why don’t you just do the homework like you’re supposed to?”

Classmate #3: “Ew, you actually like doing homework?”

Me: “Not really. I would much rather watch TV or play video games, but if I don’t do my homework, I get bad grades and get in trouble.”

Classmate #1: “I know you’re new, so you probably didn’t know, but [Teacher] is very forgetful. She forgets all the time that she gave us homework, and gives us open-book quizzes, instead. Since you came, we haven’t had a single open-book quiz, because you keep reminding her about the homework.”

Me: “And you want me to stop?”

All Three Classmates: “Yes.”

Me: “Sorry, but no. It’s not fair to me; I study and do the work. I should be rewarded for doing the homework, not helping you stay out of trouble because you want to goof off. You do the homework, you study for the tests, and you get good grades; that’s how school is supposed to work.”

(It took a while before I made any friends after that.)