I own a hobby shop that sells plastic model kits, etc. One day a male customer came in and purchased a model of the Hindenburg (1930’s zeppelin).
The next day he returned and asked for his money back. I asked why? He stated when he opened the box it looked nothing like the box art!
I had to explain to him it was a model and that you made it!
Me: “All right, so, your total today is [total].”
Customer: “Even with the 40%?”
Me: “Um, well, the only thing that you got on sale today was this shirt and it was an additional 50% off the clearance price. We don’t have any shirts in the store today for 40% off.”
Customer: “And the other shirts?”
Me: “Those are full price today.”
Customer: “Why?”
Me: “Um… because they’re not on sale.”
Customer: “Why?”
Me: “They… they just aren’t. They’re selling at the full price. I don’t—”
Customer: “Never mind, I don’t want any of it.”
I work in a coffee shop in a very student-heavy town. We are known globally for the standard of our students. The coffee shop is attached to a bar, so when the cafe closes, the bar opens, and we often clear the bar area in the mornings.
I get assigned a new coworker who is a student at the local university. On his first day, he has his safety talk and induction. On the second day, I have to remind him that taking a tray out of the 200-degree oven with your bare hands is not a good idea, as it will hurt. This lesson has to be repeated every day until it is decided he isn’t safe near the oven.
On the next week, he and I are on opening duties, so we have to clear the bar area. I take all the dregs and put them in a jug; as I am clearing I put the jug on the side. This brain box decides to try and drink the dregs, is promptly sick, and is sent home.
After this and similar instances of brainlessness, he is let go from the company. Can’t say I miss the walking disaster.
Me: “Then, I just need you to press the green button. After that, select [option].”
Customer: “It just says [not option].”
Me: “Did you press the green button?”
Customer: “No, I pressed [not the green button].”
Me: “Yeah, that’s the problem with pressing [not the green button]; it doesn’t take you to [option].”
(A customer calls from London because he needs some help checking in for his flight back to Athens.)
Customer: “Hello. I’m trying to check in online but the site is not working right.”
Me: “I’m afraid the online check-in service will be available four hours from now.”
Customer: “Is it four hours in Greek time or English time?”
Me: “You know, time doesn’t work like that.”
