Why We Need To Build A Universal Translator

, , , | Right | August 6, 2020

I’m what’s called a rep, which means some kind of a tour-guide. We are a Scandinavian company with only Scandinavian guests. We do different things, like taking them on excursions, welcoming them at the airport, and guiding them on the buses. We also have hotel service; we show up at the hotels to let them book excursions and answer questions.

I’m visiting one of the hotels, and when I arrive, the woman in the reception is talking with someone on the phone. I go to sit down and wait for guests to arrive, and I remember I’ve got something for the receptionist.

When I walk over, she’s still on the phone, and she’s telling the person on the other end the same thing over and over again. She tells them that there’s someone from the company he’s travelling with here, and after a couple of minutes, she gets him to agree to speak with me.

Receptionist: “This hotel is all [My Company]’s hotel, and this guest wants to change something with his room booking. Please explain to him that he needs to take his request with you and pay for the request to you, as well. We can’t take any money from him as he’s your guest.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll try to explain it to him, but I doubt that he will listen to me more than you.”

The receptionist hands me the phone and I’m settling for a long discussion with a furious guest.

Me: *In Scandinavian language* “Hello, this is [My Name] from [Company].”

Guest: *Starting to speak in English* “Hello, yeah, I’m coming down on… Eh, do you speak [Scandinavian Language]?”

Me: “Yes, I do. So, what can I help you with?”

He changes languages.

Guest: “Oh, okay, then! Well, I’m coming to the hotel this weekend and was wondering if [same request as the receptionist was explaining to me] could be fixed?”

Me: “Yes, sir, that is absolutely no problem!”

I explain to him how he’s going to fix his request, in the exactly same way the receptionist did, only in our language.

Guest: “Oh, so that’s how I fix it? Okay, then, thanks a lot! I’ll see you next week, then! Bye.” *Click*

He left both me and the receptionist speechless!

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Unfiltered Story #199843

, | Unfiltered | July 2, 2020

So two french ladies walk in but they speak english fluently and they use a couple of greek words too(many turists do that,nothing unusual). While i greet them and let them know i am there to help them if they need anything they interupt me saying ” i cant believe they let you out of the house like this! Look at her outfit!” i was wearing knee lenghth pants and a t shirt so i was quite confused as to what they were talking about. Then the second lady said “and even her hair is showing! How cute. It’s nice seeing women finally standing up for themselves and look civilized even in these countries” so i answered “i am not sure what you are talking about ma’am” and the even more confusing answer was “no need to be embarassed dear. We know it must have been hard. Please share your story with us, how did you decide to take off your hijab?” “eeerm ma’am i am greek,almost all greek women never wore a hijab in their lives.” lady2(yelling):” i am half greek too so i know my country, don’t lie to me missy! Or else i will tell your manager and you will get fired and go back to your village to be forced to get married!” me:”m’am i own this shop so the manager would still be me. I am not from a village,i was born in this town and also i think you are confusing Greece with some other place. Nobody is treating women in the way you refer to here. Now please leave my shop.” lady2(yelling at the top of her voice now):”it’s not your shop!you are a woman! Women don’t own shops! I am from Greece! I know better! Liar!” me:”please leave or i will have to call the police.” her friend managed to drag her out as she screamed profanities at me but guess what? She came back the next day to ask around for the owner of the shop. When shen asked the girl that owns the convenience store down the road told her the owner was me she ask for the “male owner” and when she got the same answer asked for “the girls owner”… After the conv.store girl explained that people do not own other people the french/greek/crazy lady screamed “i get it!you are lesbians!” and left continuing to scream “lesbians”.. It was not easy to explain the girl why a crazy lady screamed at her but we got a good laugh after i explained…

Unfiltered Story #195794

, | Unfiltered | June 1, 2020

I was working at the service department of a small store that sells phones and accessories. A customer comes in and shows me a phone battery.
Customer: Can we retrieve the data from this?
Me: (completely dumbstruck, it took me a few seconds before being able to say anything) Sir, that’s a battery.

Shove That Lamb Up Your Porthole

, , , | Friendly | February 14, 2020

(I have treated my mother to a cruise round the Aegean as a retirement present. The whole experience has been amazing with superb service all around. However, as we all know too well, there are some who would complain in Paradise. At lunch one day, we are sitting with one such woman. She’s complaining that her cabin doesn’t have a porthole — despite the fact that she obviously didn’t pay the extra I did for such a cabin — and that she has been denied an upgrade — despite the fact that we were greeted on board by a large sign saying that the ship was fully booked and there were no upgrades available — and on and on and on. Finally…)

Me: “Well, the only complaint I have is the pathetic excuse for a breakfast on the flight out here. I can’t wait to see what the lamb dinner’s like on the flight home.”

Woman: “How do you know you’re getting lamb?”

Mother: “He was given a choice and chose lamb.”

Woman: “Well, I wasn’t given a choice. Nobody asked me if I wanted lamb. I detest lamb. I can’t stand it and if they try to give me lamb, I shall get off!”

(Lady, at 35,000 feet, I’ll hold the door for you.)

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Not How You Ent-ice Customers

, , | Working | November 5, 2019

(Iced lattes aren’t popular here, so anytime I want one I have to describe the drink to the barista.)

Me: “Can I get a freddo cappuccino with extra milk?”

Barista #1: “Sure. Hey, just so you know, that drink is an iced latte.”

Me: “Oh, I know. It’s just that most people don’t know what that is so I have to describe it.”

(I come back to the same coffee shop, the same day, but it’s after a few hours so the shift has changed.)

Me: “An iced latte, please.”

Barista #2: “I don’t know what that is, but we don’t sell it here.”

Me: “…”

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