(All of this happens in an Italian travel agency.)
Customer: “Good morning, I want a plane ticket to the Dallas Airport in Washington.”
Me: “I’m sorry, there’s no Dallas airport in the state of Washington. Do you want to go to the State of Washington, or to Washington D.C. in Virginia?”
Customer: “I want to go to the city of Washington in the state of Washington, and the airport is called Dallas. I’ve been there before, I know.”
(After a few minutes trying to explain that the city of Washington D.C. is different from the state of Washington…)
Me: “Ma’am, maybe you want to go to the Dulles airport, Washington D.C.?”
Customer: “Dallas, as I said. City of Washington, state of Washington.”
Me: “Ma’am, the city of… never mind. Here’s your ticket. Have a nice journey.”
(I still wonder how she came back from Washington the first time, asking for an airport in Milan, state of Milan.)
(I’m on the phone with a customer inquiring about flights to a certain destination. Airline #1 has multiple flights per day, while Airline #2 flies once per day.)
Me: “So the cheapest flight for [Airline #1] flying to [Destination] is £[Total], and the cheapest flight for [Airline #2] is £[Total].”
Customer: “Why does [Airline #2] only fly to [Destination] once per day?”
Me: “I’m sorry?”
Customer: “I don’t like the times for [Airline #2]. Can’t I fly at a different time?”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I have no control over how often airline companies schedule their flights. If you want to arrive by a certain time, [Airline #1] would be the better option.”
Customer: “I still don’t get it. Why doesn’t [Airline #2] fly to [Destination] more often? Their counter at the airport is much bigger than [Airline #1]!”
Me: “…”
Customer: “Hello?”
Me: *trying to keep a straight face while talking* “No, ma’am, the size of the check-in counter has no relation to how many flights an airline has.”
(It’s Friday closing time at my agency when the phone rings. I pick up the phone and greet the wife of an important client; a high-tech local firm CEO, who inquired about the arrival time in Paris of her husband’s flight from New York. I get the info for which she thanks me before saying goodbye. Not a minute later, the phone rings again:)
Caller: “I’m terribly sorry; I forgot to mention he traveled first class. I thought perhaps…”
Me: “Same arrival time, madam!”
(A middle-aged lady walks in looking a little lost and is immediately greeted.)
Colleague: “Hi, how can I help you today?”
Middle-Aged Lady: “Yes, can you please tell me if it is cheaper to fly into London or England?”
Colleague: “I’m sorry?” *thinking she had misheard the question*
Middle-Aged Lady: “Which is cheaper to fly into? London or England?”
Colleague: “Sorry, London is in England.”
Middle-Aged Lady: “Yes, I know, but which one is cheaper to fly into?”
Colleague: *confused about what to do* “London. It is cheaper to fly into London.”
Middle-Aged Lady: “And how much would it cost to fly business class?”
Colleague: “Depending on the time of year and airline, maybe around $8000.”
Middle-Aged Lady: “$8000?! You can buy a house for that price!”
(She then stalks out of the office muttering under her breath about ridiculous prices.)
Colleague: *turning to me* “What just happened?”
Me: “I literally have no idea, but I’d love to see that $8000 house!”
(It’s my first time traveling alone, and I make all the arrangements myself, triple-checking everything because I know I won’t have anyone I know in the country when I arrive. I’m assured that everything will go as planned. Once I’m off the plane though, I can’t seem to locate my hotel, and it does not appear on any maps, nor has anyone I speak to heard of it. Hysterical because now I’m penniless and stranded halfway round the world, I finally get directions from a different hotel, who informs me the one I’m looking for has changed their name. Understandably angry, I call the agency.)
Me: “Why was I not informed that the hotel’s name had changed? That’s kind of important!”
Agent: “Are you unhappy with the service we provided?”
Me: “Yes, I’m unhappy! I was wandering around Dublin with my suitcase for three hours, trying to find somewhere that doesn’t exist!”
Agent: “Was your reservation to your liking when you got there?”
Me: “Yes, eventually. My point is—”
Agent: “Then there’s nothing I can do. Have a nice day.”
(They hung up on me, without even apologizing for their mistake.)
