Me: “Hello, you’re speaking to [My Name]; how can I help?”
Customer: “I’d like to pay the balance on my tour, please, with a credit card.”
Me: “Great, that’s [amount]. Whenever you’re ready, please just let me know the card number.”
Customer: “Okay, let me just go get my card from the other room.”
The customer put down the phone for five minutes while looking for their card.
I’m what’s called a rep, which means some kind of a tour-guide. We are a Scandinavian company with only Scandinavian guests. We do different things, like taking them on excursions, welcoming them at the airport, and guiding them on the buses. We also have hotel service; we show up at the hotels to let them book excursions and answer questions.
I’m visiting one of the hotels, and when I arrive, the woman in the reception is talking with someone on the phone. I go to sit down and wait for guests to arrive, and I remember I’ve got something for the receptionist.
When I walk over, she’s still on the phone, and she’s telling the person on the other end the same thing over and over again. She tells them that there’s someone from the company he’s travelling with here, and after a couple of minutes, she gets him to agree to speak with me.
Receptionist: “This hotel is all [My Company]’s hotel, and this guest wants to change something with his room booking. Please explain to him that he needs to take his request with you and pay for the request to you, as well. We can’t take any money from him as he’s your guest.”
Me: “Okay, I’ll try to explain it to him, but I doubt that he will listen to me more than you.”
The receptionist hands me the phone and I’m settling for a long discussion with a furious guest.
Me: *In Scandinavian language* “Hello, this is [My Name] from [Company].”
Guest: *Starting to speak in English* “Hello, yeah, I’m coming down on… Eh, do you speak [Scandinavian Language]?”
Me: “Yes, I do. So, what can I help you with?”
He changes languages.
Guest: “Oh, okay, then! Well, I’m coming to the hotel this weekend and was wondering if [same request as the receptionist was explaining to me] could be fixed?”
Me: “Yes, sir, that is absolutely no problem!”
I explain to him how he’s going to fix his request, in the exactly same way the receptionist did, only in our language.
Guest: “Oh, so that’s how I fix it? Okay, then, thanks a lot! I’ll see you next week, then! Bye.” *Click*
He left both me and the receptionist speechless!
I am working the front counter of a travel agency. Usually I hand out maps and tour guides to customers, answer the phones, take payments, etc…
Man: Do you have any scissors I can borrow?
Me: May I ask what for?
Man: Well, I have a little dog in my car out there *gestures to parking lot*, who had a run in with a porcupine. And I was wanting to cut the quills off my dog.
Me: (taking a second to process)…….I’m sorry but I can’t let you use our scissors for something like that.
Man: What do you mean?! I just want to cut them real quick!
Me: For sanitary reasons I can’t do that. I’m sorry.
Man: Wow, what a b****, I’m never giving you any business again! *storms out*
He walked to the cellphone store next door and came storming out of there as well. Ironically, we are also across the street from a hospital, and the vet’s office is down the road. I don’t know why he thought to stop into a random business to take care of that.
Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “We are flying from [City in Russia] to Amsterdam. Is it, like, in Holland?”
Me:”Yes, it is”
Customer: “Then we are going to the Hague. I heard it is, like, in the Netherlands. We have to get a visa to the Netherlands, right?”
Me: “Exactly”
Customer: “Won’t we have problems with arriving in Holland on the Netherlands visa? I know it’s all Shengen, but my friend once wasn’t allowed entering Germany because he had a Spanish visa ”
Me: “Umm… Holland and the Netherlands are the same country. Just different names”
Customer: “I understand, but… are you sure border guards let me go from Holland to the Netherlands?”
Me (sigh): “I’m 100% sure there’s no border between the two.
(Finally, I schedule an appointment with the Embassy for her and send her a confirmation letter from their site. She calls back after that)
Customer: “Are you trying to fool me? I can read English! Your letter says I am going to Deutsch Embassy! I want a visa to the Netherlands, not to Germany!”
Me: “Deutsch? Do you mean Dutch?”
Customer : “So… Am I going to the Embassy of Denmark?”
Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]; how can I assist you today?”
Caller: “I want to book a flight to Virginia Beach for Christmas break.”
Me: “Okay, and what day would you like to leave?”
Caller: “Oh… I didn’t know you were going to ask me that… I guess I’ll have to call back.”
