No Vocation For Location, Part 22

, , , , , , , | Working | December 30, 2018

(I call the travel agency that books our flights for work.)

Me: “Hi. I’d like to book a flight from Chicago to Brasilia on October 20th, please.”

Travel Agent: “No problem. What city?”

Me: “Brasilia.”

Travel Agent: “Yes, but what city?”

Me: *slowly and pronouncing every syllable* “Bra-si-li-a.”

Travel Agent: “But what city in Brazil?”

Me: “Brasilia… the capital… of Brazil.”

Travel Agent: “Oh…”

No Vocation For Location, Part 21
No Vocation For Location, Part 20
No Vocation For Location, Part 19

She Shattered Glass; You Shattered Her Entitlement

, , | Right | December 22, 2018

(It’s half an hour until opening and I’m taking care of some work on my computer. I hear someone try the door and look up to see a woman trying desperately to open it. I shout that we’re closed but assume she doesn’t hear. The owner has told us to simply ignore a customer in this instance, so this what I do. However, the woman doesn’t take the hint, and after five minutes, she’s still there, only now she’s taken to tapping the glass, as well. It’s driving everyone mad, including the owner. I see the owner walk — rather stomp — to the door and unlock it.)

Customer: “Finally! Your door isn’t—“

Owner: “WE’RE CLOSED!” *pointing to the sign* “C-L-O-S-E-D! CLOSED!”

Customer: *taken aback* “How rude—“ *door slammed in her face*

(She runs away, and the owner goes back into her office, but that isn’t the end of it. The woman comes back with her husband who then tries the door, only more ferociously. With two tugs, he shatters the glass. The owner comes out again to see the woman trying to climb through the opening. Her husband is outside, looking incredibly sheepish.)

Customer: “I want to make a complaint, right now! Your door just cut me—“

Owner: “You’ve just broken my door! [Colleague], phone the police.”

(The woman and the owner screamed at each other until the police arrived. The woman pretended to not have known we were closed, but our CCTV records audio, and the police had to walk past the glass, with the closed sign still attached to a shard. No charges were made, but the husband offered to buy a new door, much to his wife’s protests of innocence.)


Unfiltered Story #131061

, , | Unfiltered | December 4, 2018

A customer of mine told me today: “You’re so sweet and polite, it feels so nice torturing you”

That explains pretty much everything about customer service.

Different Places, Different Paces

, , , , | Right | November 16, 2018

(A customer calls from London because he needs some help checking in for his flight back to Athens.)

Customer: “Hello. I’m trying to check in online but the site is not working right.”

Me: “I’m afraid the online check-in service will be available four hours from now.”

Customer: “Is it four hours in Greek time or English time?”

Me: “You know, time doesn’t work like that.”

Better Than Going To Po… Tula… End

, , , , | Right | October 30, 2018

(Overheard from a customer nearby:)

Customer: “Three for a flight to Oyygiinnee.”

(The last two syllables are the same as the word “agony.”)

Agent: “I’m sorry, where?”

Customer: “OYY… GIIN… NEE.”

Agent: “I’m sorry, could you spell or write that out?”

Customer: *writes*

Agent: “Okay, so, Eugene, Oregon?”

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