I work in a high-end luxury retail flagship store in the downtown area. Many important-looking customers in their suits and formal attire shop here frequently on their breaks. It’s late fall or early winter.

Customer: “Excuse me, but these gloves are defective… or maybe even damaged. They have no fingers!”

Coworker: “Oh, okay, ma’am, I’m sorry about that. Let me take them and damage them out.”

Customer: “You’d better! I expected more from this brand!”

Coworker: “I’m terribly sorry about that. Let me get you another pair of gloves.”

My coworker gets a different pair of leather gloves that look similar and have fingers to them for the customer. After the customer leaves…

Me: “Those gloves are designed to be fingerless gloves. There’s nothing wrong with them at all; it’s the style of this design!”

The manager that is usually a stickler overheard and began to laugh so hard he had to take a thirty-minute break, along with every other employee within earshot, approved by said manager.

I’m looking for a used phone on a social media marketplace. It’s a temporary replacement until payday, so I’m not looking for anything fancy. I find one simply listed as “[Brand] phone – $50”. It has a picture of the phone, but nothing that states the model, year, operating system, condition, or even size of the phone. From the picture, I can’t see any cracks or cosmetic damage, so I decide to message the seller for more information.

Me: “Hello! I saw your listing and was hoping to find out the generation and condition?”

Seller: “[Brand].”

Me: “Yes, I see it’s a [Brand]. What kind is it, though? A [top-tier model]? A [lower-tier model]? How old is the phone?”

Seller: “You wanna buy it?”

Me: “I’m interested. If I can get some more information…?”

The seller then calls me via the chatting/selling app. I get a creepy gut feeling and don’t answer. Once he hangs up, I message him through our conversation.

Me: “I’d like some more information before I call. I know it’s a [Brand], but what kind?”

As I am typing my next message, the seller calls again. He calls twice more. At this point, I’ve decided I’m no longer interested. He sends me a large emoji of a thumbs up.

Seller: “You want the phone or not?”

Me: “Not anymore. I was hoping to find out more information before I decided whether or not to buy, but it’s no longer necessary. Thank you for your time.”

He calls again, but this time he leaves a voice message.

Seller: *Static, shuffling* “Bruh! You want this phone or not? It ain’t that hard! So, you gonna buy it today? Where you wanna meet up?” *Pauses and smacks lips* “Man! I ain’t got time for this! You want it or nah?!” *Click*

At this point, I decided my gut feeling was right and I was scared. I blocked the seller before he could call or message me again. The next day, my boyfriend found a great deal on two used phones that ended up being upgrades for both of us.

As an on-the-floor sales associate, I am not often on the register. However, it’s only a half-hour before closing and the store is completely dead. I’m standing at the register when a man walks up with a box of envelopes he wants to buy.

Me: “Hello, do you have a [Store Loyalty Program] card with us? “

Customer: “Yes.”

The customer gives me his phone number. I scan the item and then hit the card button on the computer. The customer slides his card and it prompts him with the PIN code input. After he enters it, the computer tells me that the authorization for the card has failed. This is most likely not his card’s fault as our debit system has been acting up lately.

Me: “The computer is telling me the authorization has failed. Let’s try and run it through as credit this time.”

The customer becomes visually frustrated. 

Customer: “This is your fault! I just used this card a few minutes ago without a problem!”

Me: “Yeah, it probably is our fault. Our system has been acting up lately.”

The customer slides his card again.

Me: “Now, if you don’t mind, hit credit when it brings up the PIN screen.”

Customer: “This is your guys’ fault. This isn’t the first time this has happened here.” 

Our store has a policy that when you use a card as credit, we have to get the last four digits of the card and see the signature on the back of the card.

Me: “Can I see your card?”

Before I can finish my sentence, he says:

Customer: “No, I’m not doing anything more. I’ve done enough. Either go through with it or not.”

Since our system doesn’t allow us to bypass the last four-digit program, I try to explain to him that there is no other way.

Me: “I just need to see the last four digits of your card. If you like, you can read them to me.” 

I am completely willing to just bypass the signature part in order to get him out of the store.

Customer: “I’ve already said that I’ve done enough! I slid the card; your system is screwing up! I shouldn’t have to do anything!”

By now, some of my coworkers have noticed what’s going on.

Me: “All I need to do is see your card. After that, you’ll be fine to go.”

Customer: “Forget it. I don’t want to buy this stuff anymore. It’s your fault that you didn’t get to sell me this today.”

Me: “All right, sorry about that. Have a nice night.”

He then proceeds to stand there and watch as I clear his details from the computer. 

Customer: “You need to tell your manager to fix the system.”

Me: “Have a nice night.”

Related:
PIN-Headed, Part 13
PIN-Headed, Part 12
PIN-Headed, Part 11
PIN-Headed, Part 10
PIN-Headed, Part 9

I am a female cashier. Customers can collect bonus points when they buy things. Their accounts are not always easy to find, especially if they use nicknames.

Customer: “My account is under Richard [Last Name].”

Me: “Hm… Sorry, I don’t have a Richard [Last Name].”

Customer: “Oh, look again. I am in there.”

Me: “Hm… No luck. I just don’t see Richard in the system.”

The customer is getting frustrated at this point and I really am doing my best to find his account. Finally, I see an account with the customer’s last name, but the first name on the account is under the nickname Dick instead of Richard. Very excited to have found the account, I blurt out very loudly:

Me: “I HAVE A DICK!”

I turn quite red before I even finish that sentence, but Richard doesn’t bat an eye and just nods.

Customer: “Yeah, that’s me.”

This story is part of the Struggles With Names roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Stories About Customers Who Were Weird With Words

Read the first roundup story!

Read the roundup!

Customer: “I’m returning this TV. I wanted a smart TV. This isn’t a smart TV.”

Me: “No problem; the home theater department can take care of that for you.”

Customer: *Condescending smirk* “Yeah, great, but how will I know it’s a smart TV? I thought this one would be a smart TV.”

Me: *Pause* “Read the box?”

The customer has a look of comprehension that indicates my advice is the key to cancer.

Customer: “Okay! Great! That’s what I’ll do. Thank you!”

Reading is an arcane art.

Related:
Not-So-Smart TV, Part 2
Not-So-Smart TV