I am a celiac and this sort of thing happens more times than it should. A group of us are ordering food from a local restaurant. I call ahead to see if something can be made gluten-free. Some restaurants can do this upon request.

Me: “Good afternoon. I was wondering if your serving of chips can be made as a gluten-free option?”

Employee: “Gluten-free? You mean like vegetarian?”

Me: “Oh, no worries. Bye.”

I hung up. It does worry me that someone working in a restaurant does not know what gluten-free means.

My boyfriend and I go out to eat at a restaurant that has the wait-staff work in teams; i.e., rather than one person working a set of eight tables, it’s two people working the same set of sixteen. We always get great service when we come here and take an extra minute or so to thank them; this time, though…

Us: “Thank you so much for everything, and let the cooks know that the food was perfect; it was like they came out and asked us exactly how we wanted it.”

Waitress: “Oh, thank you so much! We always end up hearing the bad more than the good, so it’s really refreshing to be getting compliments for once.”

Me: “Oh, it can’t be that bad.”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, it’s not like people are screaming or—”

The customer in the booth across from us suddenly yells out, interrupting us.

Customer: “Hey, some of us are trying to get some service over here! Stop acting like a hussy and flirting with the boys and do your job!”

Waitress: “Oh, um…”

Us: “Go ahead, don’t worry about us!”

About three seconds later, we heard the other girl on the team being berated on our OTHER side for some other minor inconvenience. We left both of them a good tip!

I am working as a waitress.

Me: “Good evening. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “I am not sure; I am allergic to vegetables. Actually, I will take the medium pizza.”

Me: “Oh, I am sorry. The base is tomato puree and it is topped with a number of different veggies.”

Customer: “Oh, I am not allergic when they are on pizza.”

I am working as a waitress.

Me: “Good evening. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Well, you tell me. I am allergic to sugar.”

The guy at the same table, presumably on a date, speaks up.

Other Customer: “Is that even possible? Like, wouldn’t you die without sugar?”

Customer: “Oh, I mean I’m on a diet. It is just what I tell people so I don’t they don’t add any to my meal. I think I will take the ice cream.”

I had to go to the kitchen to laugh. The guy left halfway through their dinner.

Three of my boss’s bosses are here to look around, so when a customer walks back in after picking up a to-go order looking rather annoyed, we’re all paying attention to see who did something wrong.

Customer: “Okay, I’m really frustrated now. This is the second or third time this has happened. My order is completely wrong.”

Boss: *Opening her box* “Let’s see what the problem is, ma’am. What did you order?”

Customer: “A turkey stack.”

This is a grilled turkey sandwich. The boss looks at her order.

Boss: “Ma’am, that is a turkey stack.”

Customer: “Oh… you know what? I’ve been thinking I’m ordering one of the tortilla wraps. Okay, now I’ll know to order differently next time.”

The customer left since she actually got exactly what she ordered, but I don’t think she even apologized. But at least no one got yelled at since we did our jobs.