(Some customers at our restaurant try to get a free meal by placing some hair in their food and then blaming the chef and refusing to pay for the meal.)

Customer: “Waiter!”

Me: “How can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “There’s a hair in my food.”

Me: “That isn’t possible, unless it was your hair.”

Customer: “It isn’t!”

Me: “Who else’s hair could it be?”

Customer: “Your chef’s.”

(I walk into the kitchen and return to the table with our chef.)

Me: “Take off your chef’s hat.”

(Chef takes off his hat, he is revealed to be bald.)

Chef: *to the customer* “You were saying something about my hair being in your food?”

This story is part of the Lying-Customers-Getting-Caught roundup!

Read the next Lying-Customers-Getting-Caught roundup story!

Read the Lying-Customers-Getting-Caught roundup!

(We keep lids for our yogurt cups behind the counter and ask each customer if they need one when we give them their order.)

Me: “Would you like a lid for that?”

Female Customer: “No, thank you.”

Me: “Alright, have a nice day.”

(She continues to just stand there after I walk away.)

Female Customer: “Fine! I guess I don’t get a lid then!”

Customer’s Boyfriend: “You just told her you didn’t want one.”

Female Customer: “Oh yeah…”

Me: *facepalm*

Me: *answering the phone* “Hello, [Buffet]…”

Customer: “Um, yes, I need to order something. Um, I just don’t know what it is. Can you tell me?”

Me: “Maybe can you describe it?”

Customer: “Uhhh, yeah, it had some sort of meat and a sauce and vegetables…”

(We have over a hundred items on our menu, almost ALL of them have a meat/vegetable/sauce combination.)

Me: “Well, do you know if it was chicken or beef?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Well, was it spicy or sweet?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “What sort of vegetables we in it?”

Customer: “Just regular ones.”

Me: “Ma’am, we have over a hundred items on our menu, most of them being a combination of meat, vegetable, and a sauce. If you can remember something specific about it I might be able to guess what you had since I’m familiar with the items on the menu. Is there ANYTHING you remember about it?”

Customer: “Yeah I told you, it was really good and had meat in it!”

Me: *gives up* “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m not sure what you had.”

This story is part of our Customers With Super-Vague Requests roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

15 Hilarious Stories About Customers Demanding The Impossible

Read the next story in this roundup!

Read the Super-Vague Requests roundup!

(Hot summer day temperature in the nineties. Tons of people in line because the shop is in an amusement park and everybody wants soft ice cream, which makes the soft ice even softer as it doesn’t have time to chill properly. A male customer, who bought soft ice cream for his family thirty minutes or so earlier, comes up to the window very upset.)

Customer: “The soft ice cream is melting! My kids are a total mess!”

Me: “Well, it is hot outside, what are you gonna do?”

Customer: “You should put up a sign to let people know that it will melt!”

Me: “I don’t assume my customers are idiots.”

(The customer bangs the ice cream cone on the counter and storms off. The next customer in line looks at me and laughs:)

Next Customer: “I’ll guess I’ll just have the regular ice cream then.”

This story is part of our Ice Cream roundup!

Want to read the next story? Click here!

Want to see the roundup? Click here!

Customer: “Can I get a vegetarian burrito with chicken?”

Me: “You mean, a chicken burrito?”

Customer: “Well, what’s in that?”

Me: “Chicken.”

This story is part of our Vegetarian roundup!

Read the next Vegetarian roundup themed story.

Read the Vegetarian roundup!