When Stomping Your Foot Doesn’t Invent Time Travel, It’s Time To Accept It

, , , | Right | July 20, 2020

I work in a grooming salon. Due to the new guidelines our corporation put into place because of a certain national health crisis, we are very limited in our availability for appointments. We can only take four appointments each per day, which begin to book up quickly, and soon we are looking at a one-month wait period.

This conversation goes on at least four times a day:

Customer: “Hello. So you have any appointments for this afternoon?”

Me: “My apologies; we are actually booked for the next month so we cannot take any more appointments at this time.”

Customer: *Immediately enraged* “HOW CAN YOU BE COMPLETELY BOOKED UP ALREADY?! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR TWO MONTHS TO GET MY DOG BACK THERE BUT Y’ALL WERE CLOSED! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, we have had an influx of people calling for the exact same reason. We would love to help you but we simply cannot.”

Customer: “I WILL BE COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU!”

Me: *Sickly sweet* “Feel free to leave a comment with corporate, but they have assured us that all complaints will be postponed until after the quarantine is over.”

Customer: *Suddenly calm* “You really have nothing? At all?”

Me: “Nope! Now, would you like to be put on the waitlist or shall I simply wish you a good day?”

Customer: “…”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Yes, please, my name is [Customer]…”

Sorry, y’all, but yelling will literally get you nowhere with us. We are doing our best and I don’t work faster when you yell louder.

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They Did Not Accept The Grace Period With Grace

, , , | Right | June 29, 2020

I work in a pet-grooming salon where we’ve been fully booked for appointments for two weeks at a time through the summer months. Since some customers aren’t used to this, they’ll show up for appointments that they’ve misunderstood the date of, or in some cases to intentionally try to bully us into taking their dog in despite not having time to groom them.

A customer walks in at 3:50 pm on a Saturday.

Customer: “I’m a little late for my 3:30 appointment.”

I check the appointment book.

Me: “I don’t see your appointment here, but since you’re more than fifteen minutes after when you say it was, we wouldn’t be able to take your dog in anyway. We’ll have to reschedule.”

Customer: “What? You don’t see me at all? I called to reschedule my appointment from Thursday and I was told to come in on Saturday!”

I do remember speaking with this client on the phone and scheduling both her original and rescheduled appointments. I look through the book for three weeks out but don’t see her. Then, it occurs to me that her appointment was last week.

Me: “I’m very sorry. I do remember seeing you in the book, but it isn’t for this week. If you want, I can squeeze you in before my other appointments on Tuesday; otherwise, you’ll have to reschedule for two weeks out.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! It’s very difficult for me to get here! I have an appointment!”

Me: “Like I said, ma’am, even if your 3:30 appointment was written here, we couldn’t take you in because you were twenty minutes late and we have a grace period of only fifteen minutes or else we get very behind.”

The customer huffs and leaves, returning with an older woman.

Older Woman: “It’s very difficult for us to get here; you need to take in our dog! It’s not our fault you didn’t write down our appointment!”

Me: “Like I explained before, even if your appointment were here, it’s too late after for us to take you in anyway. The best I can do is offer you Tuesday morning.”

Customer: “Fine. Why didn’t anyone call me to tell me I didn’t have an appointment? You should have called me!”

The customers leave. I turn to my coworker.

Coworker: “Did that really just happen?”

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That Is Snow Way To Behave

, , , , , | Right | June 9, 2020

I am eight and a half months pregnant. Due to a snowstorm last night, my employees are running behind, so I am opening the shop myself. The client is still about a half-hour early.

Me: “Good morning, Mr. [Customer]. How are you?”

Customer: “I would be better if I didn’t have to walk through all this snow.” 

Me: “I know that was quite a storm—”

He cuts me off.

Customer: “You know, you really need to be out there shoveling this mess! You have women and the elderly coming in and they shouldn’t have to walk through all of that.”

Me: “I understand and apologize. My staff are on their way, and because of the roads, they are running late. Also, I have doctor’s orders not to lift or do shoveling.”

Customer: “Still, you need to go out there and clear that; someone could get hurt and you’ll get sued.”

He hands me the leash and says the usual and leaves. An hour later, he comes to retrieve his dog. As he pays:

Customer: “You know, as the business owner, I really shouldn’t tip you, but here’s $5 anyway.”

Me: “Thank you, I do appreciate it, though tipping is not required.”

The customer grunted and walked out the door.

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The Stupidity Is Spreading

, , , , , | Right | April 30, 2020

Because of the health and safety lockdowns, my company has all the stores reduce their hours and have one person working the day unless it’s delivery day. The reduced hours are posted along with guidelines for shopping in the stores: no more than ten people in the store at any given point, only touch what you’re going to buy, etc.

I am sweeping the entryway and the sidewalk to get rid of debris. The store has been open for half an hour at that point, so all lights are on, the door is unlocked, and the cash register is open. Customers see me open the store door after I am done sweeping and come over. They read the sign in its entirety and then proceed to open the door. What’s the first thing that they ask?

Customer: “Hey, so, are you guys open?”

Huge mental head-desk followed, along with several other people who did the exact same thing. This is going to be a long couple of weeks.

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It’s A Boy/Girl Thing

, , , , , , | Right | February 26, 2020

I’m working in a grooming salon when a father and his teenage son come in with a dog.

Me:
“Hi! Who do we have here?”

Father:
“This is Nugget. Can you please shave him?”

Me:
“Okay, do you have an appointment?”

Son:
“No. Please, it stinks!”

I end up able to take the dog, and when referring to the dog, I ask the sex of the dog, as some customers get upset if you say the wrong pronoun.

Son:
“You can look underneath and check!”

The son holds up the dog and then puts the dog down, and he starts playing with his belt as I’m talking to the dad. 

Son:
“I don’t know if I’m a boy or a girl; I need to check!”

Luckily, the dad stopped him before his pants went down, but after they left, I decided to go on break!

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