That Joke Is More Than A Little Rough Around The Edges

, , , | Right | September 19, 2017

(I work at a fast food coffee chain in Canada. Our coffee chain has gift cards that you can reload and swipe to pay. A customer is having trouble getting his to register, and on the third try, he yanks it roughly and it reads the card.)

Me: “Oh, hey! There you go; you got it!”

Customer: “Yep. It’s like a woman, you gotta be rough with it.”

Me: *long, stunned pause*

Customer: “Haha, just kidding!”

(My coworker and I are both women.)

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A Fiery Proposal

, , , | Working | September 19, 2017

(My friend works at a bulk foods store.)

Supervisor: “Hey, [Friend], I need to have a quick talk with you.”

Friend: “Sure. What’s up?”

Supervisor: “I’m afraid we’re going to have to let you go.”

Friend: “What? I don’t understand. Why? I’m still only being trained, and I’ve been complimented on my quick performance.”

Supervisor: “It’s not about you. Despite being understaffed and needing to hire more employees, corporate just gave us a call and ordered us to fire half our staff. It’s not just you, but a lot of long-time employees are leaving, too.”

Friend: “Half the employees? That doesn’t sound right; how does a store this big operate with less than a dozen people?”

Supervisor: “I don’t know. It probably won’t. I’m so sorry for this; it wasn’t our intention to waste your time.”

(My friend took it well, despite the disappointment. From what I heard, they worked off of a skeleton crew, even during the holidays. The store is still open, shockingly. As far as I’m aware the chain, wasn’t going through financial troubles, and there was no news of mass layoffs at other stores.)

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Not Emotionally Scarred

, , , | Right | September 18, 2017

(I have a scar on my jawline. It’s not super noticeable, but it’s there. I also have an excuse I use if anyone asks me about it and I don’t want to explain it.)

Customer: “Oh, hey, you have a little something there.”

Me: “I do?”

Customer: “Yeah, right there, by your jaw.”

Me: “Oh, yeah, that’s from when I got in a knife fight with a bear. You should see the other guy!”

Customer: “Umm, uh, really?”

Me: “I know, right? Who gives a bear a knife? They have talons already.”

Customer: *finally cluing in* “Oh, my God! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to offend you!”

Me: “It’s okay; I have thick skin. See, right here!” *points at scar*

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Unfiltered Story #93709

, | Unfiltered | September 15, 2017

At a toy store. We have an electronic section for video games, systems, headphones, and musical instruments for beginners. So we have a protection plan to cover those items in case if anything happens. As a Sales Associate I had to tell customers if their products qualify for it, and if they would like it, for an additional price. It was near the end of the night, we close at 9, it was about 7:30ish. We usually have one or two customers in this late. So I was the only cashier up at the time, the other one was on break and mine was going to happen when she came back to cover for me.

Customer #1: *walks up places items down*
Me: Hi, how are ya today? *rings a plushie through*
Customer #1: Fine thanks, how are you? *4 other sets of people come up to line up*
Customer #2 (behind #1): Only one cashier? They need to hire more people.
Me: *rings in an electronic toy car* Doing well thanks. And just so you know this car here qualifies for our warranty here. It’ll cover any damages-
Customer #1: NO *he cut me off*
Me: Okay, *little shaken up little tears coming out, but rings other items through*. And would you like to-
Customer #1: I SAID NO.
Me: *goes to customer service to grab a tissue bc i started crying. My other cashier co worker came out then and went on. One of my managers grabbed me and brought me to one of their offices*
Manager: You okay? [other manager name] is on cash for you. Go take your break. Take an extra 5 minutes. And calm down.

That’s Your Cross To Bear

, , , | Related | September 14, 2017

(My niece, my nephew, and I are all visiting my parents’ house for the weekend. In their family room, my parents have a stuffed bear that loudly sings “When I’m Sixty-Four” when you push a button on it. My nephew thinks the bear is scary and makes them put it away when he visits. This time, though, they’ve forgotten. I notice, and quietly hide it away. I go inform my mom what I’ve done.)

Me: *quietly, so just my mom can hear* “Just so you know, you forgot to put the bear away, so I’ve put it in the cupboard under the computer desk. I hope [Nephew] didn’t see it.”

Mom: “He did, but that’s okay.” *turns to my nephew* “[Nephew], Uncle [My Name] just made sure the bear went away. Do you have anything you want to say to him?”

Nephew: *looks me dead in the eye with a most serious expression and angry tone* “Don’t let it happen again.”

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