You Can Just Keep On Flyer-ing

, , , , | Right | May 5, 2018

(A customer is trying to purchase a vinyl-to-CD converter; they retail at around $230, normally. They rarely go on sale.)

Customer: “When does your flyer end?”

Me: “Our new flyer just began today.”

Customer: “Oh, well, it was only $128 yesterday. Can I get it for that price?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that was the sale price from the flyer for last week that ended yesterday. This item isn’t on sale anymore.”

(I’m not even sure if the product was on sale in the first place.)

Customer: “Well, I thought your flyer ended today — that’s why I waited — so I should get it for that price.”

(Our flyers have ended on Wednesdays for several months now, and this woman is a regular in our store.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t give you the sale price. The sale is over on that product now.”

Customer: “I’d like to speak to your manager, then.”

(My manager was on the till right behind me, so I took the couple steps over to him and in a low voice explained what was going on. He told me to switch tills with him and went to help the customer. I heard him tell her the same things that I had just told her. Eventually, she decided to not take the item and left. My manager came back over to me to tell me what happened. Apparently, that was the third time that day alone she had tried to get the item for that price. She just kept going to different cashiers every time.)

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There Is No Charity For Obnoxious People

, , , | Right | May 4, 2018

(I work in a department store. It is the holiday season, and our store has a table set up where you donate a dollar to charity and get a grilled cheese sandwich. I’m flipping sandwiches and trying to collect money for a food bank.)

Woman: “Can I get a grilled cheese?”

Me: “Sure, it’ll just be a minute!”

Me: *a minute later* “Here you go!”

Woman: “It’s lopsided; make me another.”

Me: “Um, okay. Sorry about that.”

(Two minutes later…)

Me: “Here you go!”

Woman: “No, no! It’s too dark!”

Me: “Um, not much.”

Woman: “I don’t care! Make another.”

Me: “Okay.”

(A minute later…)

Me: “Here you go.”

Woman: “No, you put too much butter on it! I’m on a diet.”

Me: *to another customer* “Can I get you a sandwich?”

Man: “Sure. If she doesn’t want that one, I’ll take it.”

Me: “Thanks!”

Man: “Here, I’ll give you a fiver for her sandwiches. Do they take the money to pay for the sandwiches out of the donation? Wow, you would have used up most of that dollar just in making her sandwiches! Some people are so obnoxious, aren’t they? What’s the point in donating to a food bank if you’re going to waste food? Thanks for the sandwiches! They taste great!”

(The woman actually tried to complain to the manager about the man.)

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Your Convictions Are Plastic

, , , , | Working | May 4, 2018

(Somewhere along the line my job evolved to include purchasing coffee and tea and all the related supplies for the office. Sometimes I get strange requests. Some are stranger than others.)

Coworker: “We need spoons. Could you buy spoons next time you go shopping?”

Me: “We have lots in this cupboard right here.” *opens cupboard and shows coworker huge box of plastic spoons*

Coworker: “No, real spoons, not plastics ones. Those are no good.”

Me: “No good? What do you mean? Are you using them for more than just coffee or tea?”

Coworker: “I only use them for tea, but when they get hot they smell! If they smell, that means the plastic is getting into my tea. So, I don’t want to use them; I only want to use real spoons. I don’t want to drink plastic!”

Me: “Um, okay. I will see what I can do to get you ‘real’ spoons.”

Coworker: “Okay, thank you! Oh, and can you buy some stir sticks, too? We are almost out.”

Me: “Sure! Are wooden ones okay?”

Coworker: “No, plastic is fine.” *walks away*

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A Selfish Use Of The Book

, , , , , | Right | May 2, 2018

(A patron approaches me at the circulation desk in our public library.)

Patron: “I have something awkward to tell you.”

Me: “I won’t judge. I promise.”

Patron: “Well, you might.” *she shows me a heavy coffee table book, “Selfish,” Kim Kardashian’s selfie book* “The pages are all stuck together, and I thought you should know I found it like this.”

Me: “Well, it’s in no condition to circulate.”

Patron: “The thing is—” *lowers her voice to a whisper* “I know this smell and it’s a man’s… you know.”

(It took a moment to register, before I nervously called over my more senior coworker for moral support. We chucked the book because it was clear the damage was done within the library, since there was no way we would check a book out to anyone in that condition, nor would we return it to the shelf like that. Neither of us could be sure the sticky stuff was what the patron suggested it could be, but we were taking no chances there.)

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Unfiltered Story #109661

, | Unfiltered | May 2, 2018

(There is a little display of chocolates at the cash that is yet to be signed, and a customer picks one of the chocolates up)

Customer: So these are free, then?

Me: No, they’re $1.48

Customer: Well there’s no sign, so it’s free.

(I laugh a little, thinking she’s joking)

Customer: I’m serious.

Me: Oh, well, no, just because there’s no sign doesn’t mean it’s free. It just hasn’t been priced yet.

Customer: Well if you don’t have a sign, you have to give it to me for free!

Me: If the sign said Zero dollars, I would have to give it to you for free.

Customer: Well you should have a sign on it!

Me: I agree, but we just opened, and we haven’t gotten to it yet. (I grab a stack of newly printed signs off the printer from the counter behind me and hold them up) It’s on the to-do list, but unfortunately, it takes time to put them all out. They’re $1.48