Two of my coworkers are militantly anti-vaxx. This is pre-[health crisis]. One of them has two adult children my age and grandkids. She is all about freedom of choice when it comes to medical issues. One day, she comes into work in a bad mood. I ask what’s wrong.

Coworker #1: “[Adult Daughter] and [Her Husband] have decided to vaccinate their kids!”

Me: “Oh, good for her!”

[Coworker #1] gives me a dirty look.

Me: “What? You know my thoughts on vaccines.”

She mumbles something about her grandkids being poisoned.

Me: “Aren’t you big on freedom of choice?”

Coworker #1: “Not when it’s the wrong choice!”

Me: “Wow.”

Coworker #1: “[Annoying Celebrity] says vaccines cause autism!”

Me: “Did your parents vaccinate you?”

Coworker #1: “That’s not the point!”

She stomped off to commiserate with [Coworker #2]. I no longer work at that job, so I’m not sure how all that turned out, but I do know she’s still anti-vaxx. A video popped up on my newsfeed of her trying to stick magnets to other coworkers who got the [health crisis] vaccine!

Our front desk receives its share of junk calls: scammers, cold-callers, magazine shills, and also conniving recruiters. The first time I get it, I have no idea what’s going on.

Me: “Good afternoon, [Company #1], this is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Caller #1: “Hello! This is [Caller] with [Company #2]. I’m looking for [Employee #1]; I wanted to talk to him about collaboration on an upcoming project.”

I start looking up the employee.

Me: “Let me just check to see if he’s available. Can I ask if this is about a project that’s currently underway?”

Caller #1: “No, it’s not a current project, but it’s about a prospective upcoming project we want to collaborate on.”

Me: “Ah. Can I get some details on the project in case I need to take a message?”

Caller #1: “Of course! The project is—”

The line goes dead; there’s a hang-up tone in my ear — just as I find the employee, too. At the time, I think that it’s a glitch in the system that caused the call to drop. I pass along the few notes I have to the employee, but as we didn’t get a callback number or anything, there’s not much to do with it.

Within two days, I’m picking up another call.

Me: “Good afternoon, [Company #1], this is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Caller #2: “Hello! This is [Caller #2] with [Company #2]. I’m looking for [Employee #2]. I wanted to talk to him about collaboration on an upcoming project.”

NOW it’s twigging. The formula is almost identical, and it hasn’t been that long, so I remember it pretty well.

Me: “Can I ask if this is in regards to a project that’s currently underway?”

Caller #2: “It’s not. We’re trying to get collaboration on a future project.”

Me: “Can I get some information on the project in question?”

Caller #2: “Of course! The project is—” 

The call dropped.

One time I could call a freak accident, but twice almost the exact same way? I looked up the company name. The results I saw were for a recruitment firm, not a firm in our actual industry. I sent out the message to watch out for them so anyone else picking up the phone knew that we didn’t want to pass them along.

To date, I’ve picked up six calls from these folks. I’m waiting to see if they come up with an actual fake project to talk about. So far, they haven’t.

I was working as a copier service rep. There was this slew of fraudulent calls for fake toner. It was pretty much the same spiel.

Caller: “This is [Caller] from [Company]. Your boss has left us a note to call you when the price of toner goes up. It will go up within a week, so can I send you the four bottles of toner that were reserved for you?”

We received training about it so we would know how to handle the customers that got scammed.

Of course, said toner wreaked havoc in any copiers, and it cost the customers repairs plus having to buy good toner. One customer even tried to have his toner refunded but the scammer laughed before hanging up.

Now, this happened in the late 1980s, so there was no Internet and especially no social media whatsoever.

That particular customer had been had once and they learned their lessons. I happened to be there for regular maintenance on the copier when the phone rang. This was an open area of desks with multiple accountant clerks and the main receptionist/administrative assistant.

Assistant: ″Hello?” *Pauses* “Yes.” *Pauses* “Oh, yes, pretty good, thank you. It was much needed. Hang—” *Pauses* “Okay, I’ll transfer you to my boss; he’s the one making these decisions. Just hold on.″

She transferred the call. Then, she looked at me.

Management: ″Hey, [My Name], I just got a call from those toner scammers, and I transferred him to [Boss] because he wants to have a serious word with him, but my question is, he knew I’m just back from vacations? How the h*** does he knows that?

Me: ″Oh, that’s simple. You noticed how when they call, they speak as if you’re good friends, that you’re a regular and stuff? Well, he probably called while you were on vacation. Whoever answered said you weren’t there. He probably asked if you were sick or something, acting like he was a long-time friend of yours. Whoever answered, figuring he knew you personally because he was so friendly, probably said something along the lines of, ‘She’s on vacation and she’ll be back at this date.’ He took good note of that, so the day you’re back from your vacations, he calls. It’s that simple.″

One of the accountant clerks raised her head and just said a faint, trailing:

Accountant Clerk: ″Oh…″

In my mind, I was screaming and pointing, ″There! That’s her! She’s the guilty one!″

Be careful, folks, and with social media, it’s even easier for scammers to get information about you.

I used to work as a customer service agent for a touring company that sold tickets to events and activities worldwide. My job was to deal with cancellations, rebookings, quality complaints, no-shows by tour guides, etc. You would be amazed at the number of these calls we’d get.

Caller: “Hi! I was wondering if you could recommend something for me!”

Me: “Where are you looking to go?”

Caller: “Umm… let’s say somewhere in Asia.”

Me: “Where specifically?”

Caller: “Mmmm… let’s say Singapore. No, wait, Thailand! No, stop! Japan! Yeah, Japan!”

I scream internally as I go to the EXACT SAME WEBSITE available to the customers.

Me: “What kinds of activities were you looking for?”

Customer: “I don’t care.”

Me: “I need a rough idea.”

Customer: “Pick something!”

I check the queue to see seven calls on hold.

Me: “Sir, we have a website you can search for any kind of activity you’d like, and they are sorted by customer rating. The ones that [Company] recommends are always listed as the first results in bold. You can also sort according to price range and distance from a specific city.”

Customer: “If you don’t want to help me, then f*** off!” *Click*

Me: *Smiling* “Whew! Thank you!”

I moved on to the next REAL call.

I am an office assistant at a decent-sized company. My office phone is constantly ringing, so I miss a lot of calls while I’m on with other people. I am on a call when another comes through. They don’t leave a message, though, and I don’t know the number, so I write it down to call back when I have a minute. Over lunch, I see that the same number has called two more times but still left no message. I decide to call back.

Callee: “What?”

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] with [Company]. I saw you called earlier today.”

Callee: “Finally. God, you must be so busy not answering your phone all day.”

Me: “Is there something I can help you with?”

Callee: “I need to know why my son isn’t on our insurance.”

Me: “You would have to ask your insurance provider, ma’am. I’m sorry, I—”

Callee: “That’s why I’m calling you! [Employee] is my husband, and he swears he put [Son] on our insurance, but he’s not!”

Me: “You still have to call your insurance provider.”

Callee: “Maybe you’re not listening. I am calling my insurance provider. That’s you. You provide our insurance through his job. Do you get it?”

Me: “I do, ma’am, but you are incorrect. We are not your insurance provider. That is the company covering you.”

Callee: “Why can’t you just tell me why he isn’t on the plan?”

Me: “You’ll have to take that up with your husband, ma’am.”

Callee: “This is bulls***. You’re being obtuse.”

Me: *Firmly* “Ma’am. I don’t know who [Employee] is, nor I do have access to his personal information.”

Callee: “But—”

Me: “Furthermore, I don’t know you from a hole in the ground, and I would not tell you anything even if I did.”

Callee: “What?!”

Me: “If you have questions about your insurance, ask your husband to contact your insurance provider.”

I looked for [Employee] in our contact database but found nothing. I don’t know if she called the wrong company or what, but she never called back.