Dealing With Bad Callers Is Her Calling

I am an office assistant at a decent-sized company. My office phone is constantly ringing, so I miss a lot of calls while I’m on with other people. I am on a call when another comes through. They don’t leave a message, though, and I don’t know the number, so I write it down to call back when I have a minute. Over lunch, I see that the same number has called two more times but still left no message. I decide to call back.

Callee: “What?”

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] with [Company]. I saw you called earlier today.”

Callee: “Finally. God, you must be so busy not answering your phone all day.”

Me: “Is there something I can help you with?”

Callee: “I need to know why my son isn’t on our insurance.”

Me: “You would have to ask your insurance provider, ma’am. I’m sorry, I—”

Callee: “That’s why I’m calling you! [Employee] is my husband, and he swears he put [Son] on our insurance, but he’s not!”

Me: “You still have to call your insurance provider.”

Callee: “Maybe you’re not listening. I am calling my insurance provider. That’s you. You provide our insurance through his job. Do you get it?”

Me: “I do, ma’am, but you are incorrect. We are not your insurance provider. That is the company covering you.”

Callee: “Why can’t you just tell me why he isn’t on the plan?”

Me: “You’ll have to take that up with your husband, ma’am.”

Callee: “This is bulls***. You’re being obtuse.”

Me: *Firmly* “Ma’am. I don’t know who [Employee] is, nor I do have access to his personal information.”

Callee: “But—”

Me: “Furthermore, I don’t know you from a hole in the ground, and I would not tell you anything even if I did.”

Callee: “What?!”

Me: “If you have questions about your insurance, ask your husband to contact your insurance provider.”

I looked for [Employee] in our contact database but found nothing. I don’t know if she called the wrong company or what, but she never called back.