One Word Republic

| Bartlett, TN, USA | Right | February 6, 2013

(I work at a well-known music store. A customer in his mid-40’s approaches my register.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a CD for my daughter for her birthday by ‘One Republic’. I forgot which CD the song it is on. It goes like this: ‘it’s too late tapollagize, it’s too late’.”

Me: “I think you mean ‘to apologize’, sir. But right over here, please follow me.”

(I pick up the CD ‘Dreaming Out Loud’ and hand it to the man.)

Customer: “No, no, no! This can’t be it.”

Me: “I assure you this is the CD with the song ‘Apologize’ on it, sir.”

Customer: “Are you stupid?! This can’t be it! ‘IT’S TOO LATE TAPOLLAGIZE!'”

(I was eventually able to convince him he was wrong, but he still left the store without buying the CD.)

1 Thumbs
1,259
VOTES

Misogynists Can Make You Fret

| Anchorage, AK, USA | Working | January 31, 2013

(I’m a female musician and own most of my own equipment. While I can’t fix things myself, I do usually know what’s wrong, though most people assume I don’t. In this case, I am 18 and need to get the pickups in my vintage electric guitar rewired. I’ve taken it to a local shop that also does repairs.)

Clerk: “Can I help you?”

Me: “Yeah, I called earlier about my ’72 SG. There’s a faulty connection and the pickups need to be rewired to the toggle switch.”

Clerk: “Are you sure? You probably just had it turned up too loud.”

Me: “No, I’m sure. Can you fix it?”

Clerk: “…Probably. I’ll give you a call when I’ve looked at it…”

(Three days later, they call me back.)

Clerk: “Hey, I looked at the pickups and there’s nothing wrong. You just need to keep the volume down.”

Me: “That shouldn’t matter. Are you sure?”

Clerk: “Yeah. Just come get it.”

(This isn’t the first time I’ve been dismissed at this shop, so I decided to bring my 6’2″ father.)

Clerk: “So you’re here for the guitar?”

Me: “Yeah. Can you explain again what’s wrong?”

(I’m expecting the same simple explanation about the volume, but instead the clerk launches into complex explanation of the problem.)

Clerk: “…and so the pickups were originally wired backwards. I’ll need to take them apart and redo it.”

My Dad: “Then why did you say there was nothing wrong?”

Clerk: “Well, it’s vintage. The parts are hard to replace.”

My Dad: “…But can you do it?”

Clerk: “…Yeah.”

My Dad: “Then why aren’t you?!”

(That was six years ago, and the wiring is still faulty!)

Either Way, Their Works Are Ear-Splitting

| OH, USA | Right | October 16, 2012

(I am working the till when a teenage male customer comes up to me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any albums by Vincent Van Gogh?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Vincent Van Gogh.”

Me: “Umm, you do know this is a music store, right?”

Customer: “Yeah. Do you have anything by Vincent Van Gogh or not?”

Me: “No. Vincent Van Gogh was a painter, not a musician.”

Customer: “What?! But didn’t he do that song, Starry Night?”

Me: “Sir, Starry Night is the name of one of Van Gogh’s paintings.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Ah, geez. I asked my girlfriend who her favorite artist was. She must’ve misunderstood the question. Hang on, let me go talk to her.”

(He leaves. A few minutes later, he comes back.)

Customer: “Sorry about that. Do you have anything by Michael Bolton?”

Me: “Yes we do. Would you like me to show you?”

Customer:“Yes! Thank God, I thought he’d be another painter!”

1 Thumbs
1,884
VOTES

It’s Gonna Be Them, This I Promise You

| Portsmouth, NH, USA | Right | October 10, 2012

(A customer comes into the music store where I work and asks me and my coworker if we can identify a song for him.  He sings a little bit and I immediately recognize it as being by NSYNC.)

Customer: “No, I’m sure it’s not them. A woman sings it.”

Me: “I’m sure the song you were singing is by NSYNC. I’ll show you the CD.”

Coworker: “She’s right, sir. The song you want is definitely by NSYNC.”

Customer: “It’s by a WOMAN! I’ll find it myself!”

(A little while later, the customer comes up to the register with a CD by Alicia Keys.)

Customer: “This has to be it! It sounds just like her!”

Me: “Okay, but I have to warn you that we do not give refunds on open CDs, so if you find out this isn’t the right one you won’t be able to return it.”

Customer: “I’m sure it’s the right one!”

Me: “You’re sure you don’t want to give the NSYNC one a try?”

Customer: “It’s not by them! I told you already!”

(I sell the man the CD and watch as he walks across the parking lot to his car. He sits in his car for a few minutes, gets out, and starts to head back to the store with the CD and wrapper in his hand.)

Customer: “This isn’t the song I wanted! I need to return this!”

Me: “Unfortunately, as I said a few minutes ago, we cannot give refunds for CDs that have been opened.”

Customer: “But I just bought it!”

Me: “I understand that, but I told you before you bought it that it was not right one. You didn’t want to listen to me.”

(The customer and I go back and forth for a few minutes.)

Me: “Look, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll let you exchange this CD for the NSYNC one.”

Customer: “It’s not them! It’s a woman!”

Me: “Humor me. I’ll let you exchange this CD for the NSYNC one and if it turns out that I’m wrong, I’ll give you a refund. What have you got to lose?”

Customer: “This is a waste of my time! Fine!”

Me: *gets the CD for him and does the exchange*

Customer: “I’ll be back for my refund!”

(Again, I watch the man walk to his car. Not surprisingly, after listening to the CD for a few minutes, he starts his car and then drives off.)

1 Thumbs
1,582
VOTES

Don’t Vex The D-Rex

| Alberta, Canada | Right | October 8, 2012

(At the music store where I work, two girls who are probably in their early-mid teens approach my till, hand in hand. I go through their rather long order, and after awhile they start getting really overtly sexual—feeling one another up, biting necks, etc.)

Me: “Excuse me, but can you please not do that in the store? That kind of behavior isn’t really appropriate for public places and it makes some of our customers uncomfortable.”

Girl #1: “What the f***? What’s wrong with kissing my girlfriend? F***ing homophobic b****!”

Me: “Homophobia has nothing to do with it. Those kind of activities aren’t appropriate in public when they’re disturbing others.”

(Girl #2 by this point seems completely uncomfortable, but Girl #1 just keeps rolling along.)

Girl #1: “It’s a**holes like you that make this world horrible! You f***ing homophobe! How dare you tell me I can’t kiss my girlfriend in public! I wanna talk to your f***ing manager! I’m going to get you fired!”

(The Manager on Duty has been standing nearby with a huge grin on his face.)

Me: “Yo, wanna weigh in on this, boss man?”

Manager: “No, no. I’ll let you break it to her…”

Girl #1: *to my manager* “You’re not going to tell her off for being a homophobe?! What, do you have a problem with queer people too, you f***ing a**hole?!”

(My manager just folds his arms and his grin gets even bigger.)

Manager: “Not really. She’s also the last person I’d accuse of being homophobic.” *to me* “So how’s your girlfriend, [me]?”

Me: “Well, she got her certification and is working as an electrician. So, pretty well I think.” *to the girls* “Incidentally, I’m not a ‘homophobic b****’… I’m a raging dykeasaurus. I also know that there’s a time and a place for groping my girlfriend, and a mall full of people isn’t on the list. It’s called public decency and has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. Now, are you going to stop swearing and act like a big girl, or am I going to void this transaction and kick you out?”

Girl #1 & Girl #2: *both look absolutely mortified and go quiet*

(Later on, Girl #2 actually came back with a coffee shop gift card and apologized. She was as sweet as could be and totally embarrassed. She apparently loved the word ‘dykeasaurus’, though, and I got a $10 gift card out of it!)

1 Thumbs
3,402
VOTES
Page 6/14First...45678...Last