Service Is Not Up To Scratch

, | Aberdeen, Scotland, UK | Working | September 16, 2014

(In this record shop, they put empty CD boxes on the shelves and store the CDs in cardboard wallets behind the till. I took a box to the counter, and told the assistant how happy I was to have found it, a rare CD that I’d wanted for a while. She rang up my purchase, found the cardboard wallet, SHOOK OUT MY NEW CD ONTO THE COUNTER, PRINTED SIDE UP, AND SLID IT OFF THE EDGE TO PICK IT UP. When she gave it to me, I opened the box, looked at the disc, and sure enough, it had several deep, parallel scratches.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but… I don’t want this now that you’ve scratched it.”

Assistant: *looks at disc* “Oh, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Me: “…”

(Her manager refunded my money, but I never did get a copy of that CD.)

The Son Of Mondegreen

, | USA | Right | June 17, 2014

(I am looking for new albums in a music store when I overhear a conversation.)

Customer #1: *singing ‘The Monster,’ a song of Eminem ft. Rihanna* “I’m friends with the monster, the son of my bed.”

Customer #2: “Your lyrics are wrong. It’s ‘that’s under my bed.'”

Customer #1: “Seriously, how can a monster fit under a bed?”

Customer #2: “‘The monster under the bed’ is an expression used by children and the song uses this expression to depict the artist’s struggles in overcoming his demons. And besides, how can a monster be a son of a bed?”

1 Thumbs
1,346
VOTES

They Should Screen Customers Like This

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Right | March 25, 2014

(We have a touch screen tablet/kiosk in store that allows you to create a playlist for making custom CDs. One day, a man is shouting and punching the screen trying to get it to work. I come over to help him.)

Customer: “This f****** thing is broken. It won’t accept any of the letters when I press them!”

Me: “Please be gentle with the device. I’ll show you how easy it is to use.”

(I show him, and after a few minutes he tries again, pressing the space between the letters instead of any actual letters.)

Customer: “Your cheap-a** tablet is the reason I can’t figure it out!”

(I just stand there letting him vent, all while finishing his list of songs. When it is done he wants to enter his name, and goes back to jamming the screen with his finger and cursing loudly.)

Me: “I will finish it for you. The total will be [total].

Customer: “That’s way too expensive! Never mind.”

(The customer then just simply walks away. I turn around to see my coworkers laughing at me. Great days in retail!)

1 Thumbs
1,104
VOTES

Waxing Lyrical On The Lyrics

| Seattle, WA, USA | Right | March 3, 2014

Elderly Customer: “I’m trying to learn this song. Do you have music for ‘Your Mind Is On Vacation And Your Mouth Is Workin’ Overtime’?”

Me: “No, but now I want to learn it, too!”

Elderly Customer: “No s***, right?!”

1 Thumbs
1,203
VOTES

Mr. Tambourine Can

| ON, Canada | Right | January 23, 2014

(I work in a music store that sells musical instruments and sheet music. The phone rings.)

Me: “[Music Store]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi. Do you have a ten-inch tambourine?”

Me: “We might. Just a minute, I’ll go check.”

(I come back to the phone holding the requested item.)

Me: “Hello. Yes, we do have one in stock.”

Caller: “So can you tell me how big it is?”

Me: “Um… It’s ten inches.”

(There’s a moment of silence, and then I realize that it’s a somewhat valid question as the caller may not know how tambourines are measured: diameter, circumference or radius… although the latter two would be pretty strange, I think. Still, I give him the benefit of the doubt and add:)

Me: “… in diameter.”

Caller: “So, is that like, the size of the lid on a paint can?”

Me: “I don’t know. Is it a ten-inch paint can?”

1 Thumbs
1,242
VOTES
Page 4/14First...23456...Last