Waxing Lyrical On The Lyrics

| Seattle, WA, USA | Right | March 3, 2014

Elderly Customer: “I’m trying to learn this song. Do you have music for ‘Your Mind Is On Vacation And Your Mouth Is Workin’ Overtime’?”

Me: “No, but now I want to learn it, too!”

Elderly Customer: “No s***, right?!”

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Mr. Tambourine Can

| ON, Canada | Right | January 23, 2014

(I work in a music store that sells musical instruments and sheet music. The phone rings.)

Me: “[Music Store]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi. Do you have a ten-inch tambourine?”

Me: “We might. Just a minute, I’ll go check.”

(I come back to the phone holding the requested item.)

Me: “Hello. Yes, we do have one in stock.”

Caller: “So can you tell me how big it is?”

Me: “Um… It’s ten inches.”

(There’s a moment of silence, and then I realize that it’s a somewhat valid question as the caller may not know how tambourines are measured: diameter, circumference or radius… although the latter two would be pretty strange, I think. Still, I give him the benefit of the doubt and add:)

Me: “… in diameter.”

Caller: “So, is that like, the size of the lid on a paint can?”

Me: “I don’t know. Is it a ten-inch paint can?”

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Refunder Blunder, Part 3

| CA, USA | Right | October 16, 2013

(I am working near the registers, but I am not currently on register. Our return policy is printed on every receipt in clear, bold lettering.)

Customer: “Hey, I wanna return this CD and get all my money back.”

Me: “Sure thing, just let me call someone over and they can help you out.”

(I call my manager over to do the return and I go back to work.)

Customer: “They had better give me all my money back, or I’ll cause trouble.”

Manager: “What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I wanna return this CD and get all my money back. Here is the receipt.”

Manager: “Alright, everything looks okay; can I see the item you want to return?”

(The customer hands over an unwrapped CD case.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, but I can only give you a refund on unopened merchandise. If the disk wasn’t playing I can replace it for you though.”

Customer: “No, you’re gonna give me all my money back, or I’m gonna file a lawsuit.”

Manager: “Go ahead and file a lawsuit. I don’t care. The return policy is on the receipt, and clearly says items must be unopened in their original packaging in order to be returned for a refund.”

Customer: “No, it doesn’t say that. Where does it say that?” *looks at his receipt* “D***.” *walks out*

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 2
Refunder Blunder

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Blow Them Away

| Houston, TX, USA | Working | July 30, 2013

Caller: “May I speak to Joe Blow?”

Me: “Joe Blow is a pseudonym that my boss uses to confuse telemarketers.”

Caller: “Well, I’m calling to talk to Mr. Blow about accounting services.”

Me: “…and clearly it’s working.”

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She Is Never Ever Getting That CD

| Miami, FL, USA | Working | July 21, 2013

(I’m Asian, but I have blonde hair. I’m also wearing red lipstick.)

Employee: “The Taylor Swift CDs are over there.”

Me: “I’m not looking for Taylor Swift CDs. What makes you think so?”

Employee: “Well… you kind of look like her, for starters.”

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