My Dad Is All That

, , , , , | Working | November 6, 2018

(I am about four years old. My father is an auto mechanic and woodworker and owns many tools. We walk around this particular hardware store every Sunday. We are currently in the tool section.)

Me: “You have that, and that, and that, and that, and that…”

Employee: *to my father* “Would be nice if you really did have all of that, wouldn’t it?”

Dad: “I do.”

(The employee walked away red-faced, with an awed expression.)

Not Very Closed Minded: Friday Edition

, , , , | Right | October 26, 2018

(I am hired by a chain that is opening a new location. The AC hasn’t been hooked up yet, so we have the door propped open. The doorway is completely blocked by an easel and sign saying, “COMING SOON,” and listing the date we will open the new store. While we are unpacking boxes, we hear a scrape of metal on concrete. Sure enough, somebody is dragging the sign out of the doorway, and trying to come in.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we are not open to customers. You will have to come back Friday.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s okay. I don’t want to buy anything; I just want to look around.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we are not open yet. We are still building racks and unpacking boxes. You will have to come back Friday, when we open.”

Customer: “It’s okay; I have a store credit card. I just want to look around, before all the good stuff is gone.”

Me: “Ma’am, our other location at [Intersection] is open today, and they carry the same product. If you want to shop here, you will have to come back Friday when we open.”

(By this time, she has worked her way inside the store.)

Customer: “Oh! There’s no merchandise! There aren’t even any racks put together! When will you have merchandise?”

Me: “We will have everything ready for our grand opening on Friday.”

Customer: “Okay, I guess I’ll just have to come back on Friday!”

Not The Brightest Spark

, , , , , | Right | September 6, 2018

(I work at a fairly popular oil change service center where we do much more than just oil changes. This conversation happens more often than it should.)

Me: “And your manufacturer recommends having your spark plugs replaced every 105,000 miles.”

Customer: “I don’t think my car has spark plugs.”

(I stare at the customer to see if she’s kidding:)

Me: “Do you put gas in your car?”

Customer: “Yes?”

Me: “Then it has spark plugs.”

Unfiltered Story #116503

, , | Unfiltered | July 18, 2018

(I work in a retail store where a survey prints out after every receipt and often customers confuse this for the actual receipt when doing returns. My store also has a huge shoplifting problem so we have a strict policy on returns. No receipt means you can either do an exchange, or wait for a gift certificate to be mailed to you)

Elderly gentleman: “Hi, I’d like to return this.” *hands me a sweatshirt*

Me: “Alright y! Do you have the receipt?”

Him: “Yes, right here.” *Hands me a survey*

Me: “Oh… I’m sorry, sir, this is actually for a survey and not the real receipt.”

Him: “Well,  that’s all I got!”

Me: “Oh, well, did you happen to use a card for this purchase? We can look it up that way, too.”

Him: “It was a gift! I don’t know how they bought it!”

Me: “Well, unfortunately,  in that case I can only give you what the current selling price of it is, and you can either exchange it for something of the same value, or I can have store credit mailed to you.”

Him: “Well, how much is it?”

Me: “Let me check… looks like $7.99”

Him: “Just give me the store credit and I’ll go buy something today.”

Me: “Well,  if you want to switch it out for something else, then go hang on to this, and when you make up your mind bring your items back up, and I can swap it out for you.”

Him: “I’m not going to take it with me! Why can’t you just give me store credit?!”

Me: “I can, it’s just going to have to be mailed to you. If you want to buy something today, you’ll have to find the items you want first.”

Him: “I’M JUST GOING TO THROW IT AWAY, THEN!” *Storms out of store*

Blind Assumption

, , , , , | Right | July 10, 2018

(I have a somewhat short haircut that falls mostly to my left side, which has a tendency to cover my left eye, especially when my hands are full and I can’t fix it. I keep this particular style because my eye is a bit lazy and I like to cover it up.)

Customer: *seemingly rather annoyed and in a rude tone* “How can you stand your hair blocking your eye like that? It would drive me insane!”

Me: *taken aback by his tone* “Well… Um… I’m actually mostly blind in that eye, so I don’t really see much out of it, anyway.”

Customer: “Oh.” *obviously seeing the mistake in his assumption, quickly grabs his change and items and runs off*

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