(I work at a movie theater as an usher and part of my job is cleaning after the movie is out. There are only three boys of around 10-13 years in one of the screens and we’re all already pretty suspicious, as all of them bought our jumbo buckets of popcorn.)

Coworker: “I bet they’re gonna throw the popcorn.”

Me: “Yep, definitely.”

(As we keep an eye on the monitors behind our tills, we see some popcorn flying.)

Me: “Knew it.”

(I rush to the screen, enter the room, and watch the boys throw their popcorn at the screen. As the movie finishes I stand in front of the closed door, two vacuums beside me.)

Me: *sweetly* “Well, since you’re having so much fun, would you mind helping me clean the mess you made?”

Boy #1: “Are you f****** insane?”

Boy #2: “Yeah. It’s your job to clean, b****!”

(The third boy keeps nodding and empties the rest of his bucket in front of my feet.)

Me: “Well… it is my job indeed. But you know, I was kind enough to watch you throw that popcorn for almost two hours, when I could have kicked you out immediately. So either you start cleaning now, or you will never ever step into our theater again. I don’t know you or your parents, but since I’ve seen you coming here pretty often, I think you would want to use our service again, am I right?”

Boy #1: “I’m gonna complain to your boss! I’ll get you fired! You are just too stupid to do your own job, b****!”

(They start vacuuming the whole screen. I let them do every row and follow them back out. They rush towards a woman who seems to be one of the boy’s mother.)

Boy #3: “She made us clean the entire screen! Get her fired now, Mom! She’s crazy! She made me f****** clean everything!”

Me: “Excuse me, miss. Those boys were alone and started throwing popcorn everywhere. I’m wondering if they ate anything out of their 21€ purchase. I made them vacuum everything since the theater was clean before and I do not clean after such rude customers if I see what’s happening.”

Boy #3: “See! This b**** made us do her f****** job!”

Mother: “Oh, really?” *looking at me* “Thank you. I guess they needed that. Boys, shut up or you’ll never go to the movies again!”

(This mother’s reaction really made my day and I saw her get back at the still-pissed boys outside of the cinema. Never felt so good to see a kid put back in its place.)

(I work in the fresh cut area in produce. We also make guacamole, which is one of our most popular items. My coworker is on her fourth batch of the day when the manager walks in and asks how it’s going.)

Coworker: “I have so much guac on my apron, it looks like I murdered Slimer!”

(I work at a very popular cinema as a supervisor. A very popular superhero movie has just been released; unlike its predecessors, it has received a high-rated label, R16. Law in this country states that parents CANNOT give consent for underage kids to attend. If a person looks under a certain age, we are legally required to ask for suitable ID, or we must deny entry. A customer has picked up from me his online booking for four adult tickets from our counter. As we are trained to do, I enquire if everyone attending is the age of 16 or older, with correct ID if under 25, which is more a precautionary ask. This just means we have some stance behind us if someone tries to pull a fast one and say “no-one told me about the rating.” Usually, this is not a problem. This man assures me everyone is an adult of correct age. Minutes later, I am called upstairs to the entrance of the cinemas. I find the customer with whom I assume are his wife, and two children, clearly under the age of 13. He looks furious, and as soon as I approach, he starts ripping into me verbally regarding his right as a parent to allow his children to watch what he allows.)

Customer: “This is just unbelievably stupid. I am their father; I say they are old enough to watch this film! What right do you have to check their age, and to tell them no?”

Me: “Unfortunately, sir, it is NZ law that they have to be the age of 16 and older. Parents cannot overrule this. And as a cinema, we have a policy that we need to check anyone who looks under a certain age, and deny them if they cannot provide the proof they are of age.”

(Note the years of practice in this sentence, because this is not the first time I have had to use this.)

Customer: “Where does it say this? I didn’t see any information anywhere that they weren’t allowed? No one told me anything when I bought my tickets!”

Me: “You were asked, at the counter when you picked them up, if everyone was of age with suitable ID.”

Customer: “I was not! Your staff did not ask me!”

Me: “I picked your tickets up, sir, and I distinctly remember asking you this. You told me all four tickets were for ADULTs, as you booked it.”

Customer: *recognises me* “Well, that doesn’t give you any right to deny my kids. I am their father, and I say their dates of birth are [two different, clearly older than actual date of births] and [repeats date of his and wife’s birth in spiteful manner] just in case you decide you want mine and my wife’s!”

Me: “Well, you and your wife are clearly over the age of 16… but your kids look under-aged and we need better proof than just parental information.”

Customer: “Where is your information around the building stating this, then?”

(I point to plaques on the wall with information four feet away, providing visual proof of law and cinema policy that we keep on hand on the floor for these circumstances.)

Me: “Also, when you book tickets, you must tick you have read these terms and conditions before being allowed to complete transaction. It is not the responsibility of the cinema if you fail to read them.”

Customer: *starts to get real nasty in his language*

(We go back and forth for a few minutes, and he asks to speak to my manager. I walkie-talkie downstairs, but the managers are dealing with another difficult customer at this point, so I inform the gentleman he must wait. This sets him off more, and he states he will just walk into the theatre with his kids. I inform him I will not stop him, but I will be asking security to remove him and his family, as is our protocol. He starts saying to me he will call a local newspaper to tell them how shameful we are, etc.)

Customer #2: *who has been waiting patiently in the background for another theatre to finish being cleaned* “Mate, just give it up! Stop being a f****** d*** about this! She told you why your kids can’t go in. Go be a f****** s***ty parent at home! Everyone knows this movie ain’t for kids!”

(The man swore at the other gentleman, at which point I asked him to leave. He and his family ended up going downstairs to demand a refund of money. They were offered to be placed into another non-R-rated film, even an upgrade in theatre to 3D, or to receive complimentary passes to come back on another day. They kept demanding money back, but were refused this, as they had purchased online and it was their responsibility to be aware that choosing a film marked R16, did not mean they could take in their kids, who turned out to be 8 and 12 years old. I gave the other customer a free large popcorn. It’s rare someone sticks up for us like that! It was appreciated that he understood. Thank you kind customer.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what is the movie about the boy and girl who fall in love?”

Me: “Umm… That could be almost any movie that has ever been made.”

(I’m the customer in this story, buying tickets to see an imported Spanish horror film. I work at a competitor’s theater that’s not showing this particular film.)

Me: “One for [Film].”

Employee: “That movie is in Spanish.”

Me: “Yes.”

Employee: “So it has subtitles.”

Me: *still a little confused where this is going* “I know.”

Employee: *sounding nervous* “So there’s no English. You’ll have to use the subtitles for everything they’re saying.”

Me: “I know. I saw that in the review, too; it’s no problem.”

Employee: *sounding relieved* “Oh, okay; it’s just that we had complaints and people walking out asking for refunds so my manager makes me tell everyone in advance now.”

Me: “You mean people who go to a movie filmed in Spain, advertised as Spanish, with an all-Spanish cast and crew, are surprised when the film is actually in Spanish?”

Employee: “Yup! And when they find out they have to read, they’ve come storming out of the theater screaming at us. The first showing had at least half of the theater demanding refunds. That’s why I have to tell everyone up-front now.”

(I don’t know who I felt sorrier for: the employees who had to listen to the complaints or the people who missed a great movie because they didn’t want to bother reading subtitles.)

This story is part of our Spain-themed roundup!

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