This exchange happens almost every day with different customers.

Me: “Hi. May I get you started with something to drink?”

Customer: *To their toddler* “Honey, can you tell the lady what you would like to drink? “

Toddler: “Chocolate milk!”

Customer: “It’s ‘chocolate milk, please.’ Remember, we use our manners.”

Toddler: “Chocolate milk, please.”

Me: “Okay, and for you?”

Customer: “A Coke.” 

No “please,” just exactly what they’d scolded their child for. I don’t think they’re being rude; I just find the exchange to be amusing every time it happens.

Me: “Would you like paper or plastic bags today?”

The customer immediately slides their credit card through the machine.

Customer: “Credit.”

I work at a major fast food chain. Two times, this has happened with the same woman. I’m standing at the cash register in the lobby, taking orders.

Me: “Hi. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “I would like a #6, but just the sandwich. And a drink.”

Me: “Okay, so that’s a [#6 sandwich] and a drink. Correct?”

Customer: “That’s right.”

Me: “Okay, that’ll be [total].”

The woman pays for her meal and the food comes up. She looks at the food on the tray.

Customer: “This isn’t right. I wanted the six-piece [chicken] meal!”

The manager gave her the food she claimed she’d ordered. I resolved if she came in again I’d ask the manager to take her order.

After college, I moved in with a friend from high school, renting a room in her house. The house’s washer had been malfunctioning — and by that, I mean shooting water back out the pipes — and I offered to meet with a plumber after work so we could get it fixed.  

The plumbers were two super nice gentlemen who figured out there were roots growing all throughout the plumbing and would need to be removed. One temporary option was $500; the more permanent option was $1,000.

My friend had left me a blank check for this but I wanted to check in with her first. Upon calling and telling her the situation, she immediately started freaking out over the cost but said to go ahead with the $1,000 option. 

Ten minutes after the process had started, she called back telling me to stop them from doing anything because these men were con artists and lying to us. I insisted that I had seen the roots myself on their camera and that the men had already started. 

These two men could hear her screaming and crying in my ear about how these men were lying and I was too stupid to know that. She wanted me to make them pull a piece of root out from the pipes to prove they weren’t lying. The process these men were using was to shoot a high-pressure hose down the pipes to break them up, meaning no “proof” for her.

She eventually just left work and came home and “thanked” them in a sarcastically cheerful manner and, thankfully, paid up. I informed her that, in the future, if she wanted something fixed in the house, she’d better be there herself.

I work at a large midwest grocery chain’s bakery. There’s a lady who comes by that my coworkers have dubbed “The Grinch” because nothing we do seems to satisfy her in any way. I’m newer to the department, so I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting her yet. 

As I’m traying up cookies to be baked, I see the cake decorator talking to her. I’m not really paying much attention until the decorator says:

Decorator: “[My Name], do we have any croutons?”

Me: “I don’t think so; I’ve never seen them over here.”

Grinch: “I get them here every week!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’ve never seen croutons here in the bakery.”

The Grinch walks away, mumbling.

Grinch: “Doesn’t even know what I’m talking about.”

This is when the cake decorator tells me how they call her the Grinch and she’s always mean and racist and has something rude to say about everything. Then, the customer comes back.

Grinch: “See? These are croutons.”

She’s holding a package of croissants.

Me: *Very simply* “Croissant.”

She looks at me, looks at the package, then looks at me again, and in an attempt to save face, says:

Grinch: “Hmpf, whatever, they are overbaked! The baker always overbakes them!”

Me: “Well, I’ll be sure to pass that note to my manager.”

Grinch: “Yeah, okay.”

The Grinch walked away. Please, everyone, make sure to ask us for the right thing. We’re not mindreaders and legitimately do want to help, but getting mad at us because you said the wrong item isn’t going to help anyone.