(In our country, there is a chain of warehouses that is notorious for hiring really inadequate people. Often it is jokingly said that to qualify for a job there you need to have no qualifications at all, or a master’s degree in rudeness and stupidity if you want to become a floor manager. Another remarkable thing is that they call their employees to have their lunch breaks over the PA system. You know when you hear, “Second party for break,” over the PA that some employees would literally drop everything and go to have their break. It doesn’t matter if they are shelving or helping people at the checkout; when that message comes and it is their turn, they walk off. My father is shopping in that shop for some trousers and he finds a pair. It is the last pair of that make on the rack, but it has some oil stains, so my father takes it to a floor manager to ask if they perhaps have more of these in stock. Before he can even say a thing, the floor manager snatches the trousers out of his hands, looks at them, and says:)

Floor Manager: “Yeah, we will exchange these for a pair without stains.”

(She goes into a storeroom, comes out with a new, clean pair, packs it in a bag, and gives it to my father. The PA system announces her break and she hurries off to go for a lunch break. No money changed hands; she didn’t even ask for a receipt or tell anyone else to help my father. So, my father walks off with a free pair of trousers. I have another experience in that shop. I am 18 and I have saved quite a bit of money doing all kinds of chores and jobs. This is when vinyl records are still the norm, and when you go into a booth to listen to a record before buying it. I select four albums and go to an employee to ask if I can hear them.)

Employee: *looks at me* “Do you even have the money to buy them, before I let you listen to them?”

Me: *shows her my money*

Employee: “I wonder how you managed to steal so much money.” 

(I don’t know how to respond to that, so I let it go and insist on hearing the records. At that moment the message, “Third party for break,” comes over the PA, and she is gone. Since all the employees seem to have a break, I am left alone on the floor. I use my time well and switch covers and records as fast as I can. A Beethoven record goes in a Beatles cover, Beatles record in a Rolling Stones cover, Rolling Stones in a Chopin cover, etc. I manage to switch quite a few records in the fifteen minutes I have. The employee returns and I go to listen to the records. That is: the employee will put on a record, let a song play for ten seconds, and skip to the next song. Finally, she has “played” all the records and when I come out of the booth she has already bagged them and she tells me the amount.)

Me: “Thanks. Now I know that I have enough money to buy these records in the shop next door. Bye.” 

(That’s when I discovered that she was a floor manager and she did have a master’s degree in rudeness.)

(In my two last high school science classes, I am notorious for sitting alone in the back corner at what is supposed to be the teacher’s desk, messing around on my laptop and blatantly not paying attention. But I take my textbook home, do the classwork there, and make 100s on all my tests, so the teacher doesn’t care. Other students aren’t doing so well with their grades. One day, I raise my hand and ask to go to the restroom; the teacher gives me permission but the other students don’t hear her. I walk out of the room.)

Student: *screaming* “Oh, my gosh. [My Name] sits back in the corner and never does any work in here, but we get in trouble if we’re talking or don’t pay attention for one second! She just gets up and leaves the room and you don’t even say anything!”

(The teacher found the outburst so funny she gave me permission to leave the room whenever I wanted without asking.)

(I run the warehouse for a country store. Customers pay for bags of animal feed and bedding, and then bring their tickets to the warehouse where I load the bags into their cars. Said bags are normally 20kg+ each. On this particular day, a fairly old customer gives me their ticket.)

Me: *sees that they want several heavy bags of animal food* “Okay, no problem. May I ask you to move your car up to the entrance, please?”

Customer: “Oh, my car’s just over there” *points to the other side of the car park, as far away from the warehouse as you can possibly park*

Me: “Okay, but we do ask customers to bring their cars to the entrance if they’ve bought several bags, just so that we can get you your products as quickly as possible.”

Customer: “Oh, my car’s just over there.” *points again*

Me: *realises she’s not going to move her car regardless of what I say* “Okay, I’ll just be a couple of minutes.

(Her ticket says she’s paid for two bags of chicken feed pellets. I pick up a bag of this and take it out to her car, which takes me about a minute because of where she’s parked. I walk back to the warehouse, pick up another bag, and take it across the car park and put in her car, and it’s only when I’ve done this that she says:)

Customer: “Oh, no, I wanted the mash, not the pellets. Could you put the mash in my car, instead?”

Me: *internally rolling eyes* “Your ticket said you’d paid for pellets, so if you’d like to take it back to the shop they’ll be able to exchange it for you.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t want to walk all the way back to the shop. Can you just put the bags in my car?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but since you haven’t paid for the mash, I can’t give it to you. If you’d just like to talk to the person on the till, they’ll be able to sort it out for you no problem.”

Customer: “Oh, but can’t you just put the mash in my car?”

(This went on for about two minutes before I finally convinced her to go back to the shop. She came back a couple of minutes later, by which time I’d taken the two bags of pellets back into the warehouse. I gave her the bags of mash she’d paid for, as well as the other three bags she wanted. She still refused to move her car.)

(I’m planning to make a new set of arrows and go to my local store to get all the parts. Unfortunately, they don’t have the points I want in stock, but they refer me to a nearby competitor where I’ve never been. This happens in the second shop. There is one employee inside and no other customers.)

Me: “Hello, I’m looking for [Brand] [size] points. Do you have any?”

Employee #1: “Here.” *hands me the points, wanders off to the back before I have a chance to pay*

Me: “Um…”

(I try to call for the employee but no answer. Figuring I have time, I look around the shop for a while. About ten minutes later, another employee walks in from the back.)

Employee #2: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Me: *holding up the bag I’ve been holding for ten minutes and walking to the till holding my card* “Hi, yes, I just wanted these [Brand] [size] points. Your colleague got them for me, and then disappeared.”

Employee #2: “Yes, those are the correct ones. Is there something else you need?” *looks at me with confusion*

Me: “So… can I pay for them?”

Employee #2: “Oh…” *wanders off to the back room but returns shortly*

Employee #2: “I have no idea where he went…” *looks lost*

Me: “How much for these?”

Employee #2 “Oh, yeah… [price].”

Me: “THANK YOU.”

(Total time to get points: fifteen seconds. Total time to get cashiers to let me PAY for points: fifteen minutes.)

(I go to the local post office to get some postage and drop off the mail for my boss. Here is the actual conversation at the postal counter.)

Me: “Hi. I need a roll of reg—“

Post Office Lady: “No rolls.”

Me: “You don’t have rolls of stamps?”

Post Office Lady: “No.”

Me: “Okay, how about just 100 stamps, then?”

(She counts out five sheets of stamps.)

Me: “And I need one $1 stamp—“

Post Office Lady: “No $1 stamps.”

Me: “Okay, how about $2 stamps?”

Post Office Lady: “No $2 stamps.”

Me: “Um, all right. I need five postcard—“

Post Office Lady: “We don’t have postcard stamps.”

Me: *growing ever more incredulous* “You don’t have post… Okay, you know what? I’ll just take those, then. I’ll go somewhere else for the rest.”

(I get ready to pay.)

Post Office Lady: “Do you need anything else today?”

(SO MANY responses go through my head, it nearly explodes.)

Me: “Um, no. That will be all.”