I’m buying some badminton stuff at a sporting goods store. I point to a sign behind the cashier.

Me: “How many times has that happened that it needed its own sign?”

The cashier turns and looks at the sign:

Sign: “Left-handed tennis rackets are not a thing. If you’ve been told they are, you’re being pranked.”

Cashier: “Oh, yeah. It happens occasionally, but we had three specific incidents in the last month that made the sign necessary.”

Me: “Wow, there are that many people being pranked?”

Cashier: “No, all three times it was all the same woman.”

I made my purchase, gave the cashier a commiserating look, and went on my way.

A month later, I’m topping up some more supplies and see that the sign has been updated:

Sign: “Left-handed tennis and badminton rackets are not a thing. If you’ve been told they are, you’re being pranked.”

The cashier sees me looking at the sign and recognizes me.

Cashier: “She took up a new sport…”

I was working at a retail store in the sporting goods section. We sell guns, bullets, fishing gear, and the like. One day, a kid came up with his dad. He was probably three or four because he was very little but could speak very well.

Kid: “Hey, are those real guns?”

Me: “Sure are.”

Kid: “And those are real bullets?”

Me: “Yes, they’re real.”

Kid: *Excitedly.* “Do you have any Kryptonite?”

I smirked and tried to hide a laugh. His dad was also smiling and trying to keep a laugh from coming out.

Me: “Unfortunately, no, some bald guy came in and bought it all.”

The kid looked concerned but satisfied. I went back to work after that with a smile on my face.

Customer: “Where are your Jordans?”

Me: “We don’t sell Jordans. This is an Adidas store.”

Customer: “Why don’t you sell Jordans? They’re really popular.”

Me: “Those are Nike.”

Customer: “So why don’t you sell them?”

Me: “Because this is Adidas.”

Customer: “So why don’t you sell them?”

Me: “They are our competitor. We don’t sell our competitors’ items.”

Customer: “Well, you should! Then you would have made a sale today!”

He then tapped the side of his head like the ‘Roll Safe’ meme guy, as if he was imparting great knowledge to me, and walked out.

I’m working over the summer at a big box sporting goods store. A customer is buying something that needs to be assembled.

Customer: “How big is this?”

I read out the dimensions written on the box.

Customer: “Yeah, but how big is that?”

I hold my hand a few feet off the ground, the same number as the dimensions written on the box.

Me: “This tall.”

Customer: “Take it all out and assemble it for me.”

Me: “That’s not a service we provide, sir.”

Customer: “So you’re happy to lose the sale?”

Me: “Do I, someone who works part-time and makes $9.50 an hour, care about you not making a $30 purchase? I think I won’t lose any sleep over it, sir.”

Customer: *Grabbing the box and angrily storming off.* “This is why your generation can’t get jobs!”

He shouted to me, at my job.

Customer: “Is this like bug spray?”

She holds out some bear mace.

Me: “Absolutely not! That’s to go on the bears, not on you!”

Customer: “That’s so stupid! Why would I walk up to the bears and spray this on them when the whole point is to keep them away?”

Some people are not made for the outdoors…