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Look, I Get VERY Thirsty, Okay?!

, , , | Right | March 24, 2022

I am the idiot customer in this story. I’m in a sporting goods store to buy a new camping bottle, having lost the old one. I find one that’s a bit too small, so I ask the saleswoman:

Me: “This is 0.5 metres; it’s too small. I would prefer a 1.5 metre bottle.”

Saleswoman: “Metre?”

Me: “Well, it was written 0.5 on my old bottle, anyway.”

Saleswoman: “But are you sure that it was not in litres?”

Yes, it was in litres. That poor saleswoman was imagining a 1.5-metre water bottle!

Tell Them How You Really Feel

, , , , , | Right | December 14, 2021

I’m stocking when I overhear a commotion in one of the main walkways. I walk out to find one of the workers from the auto department covered in motor oil and being yelled at about his current state by a customer dressed in a suit, who is not letting him get a word in at all.

Customer: “You should be ashamed of yourself! Keeping yourself in such a state! I want to talk to your manager right now! You teenagers don’t know how to take care of yourselves at all!”

I don’t know why she called him a teenager when they are the same height and he has a beard. I step in to try and give my coworker a chance to slip away and clean himself off.

Me: “Ma’am, can I help you with anything?

Customer: “You aren’t the manager! Go get me a manager, little girl!”

She manages to stop both of us from leaving, continuing to interrupt us and yell at us. Behind her, I see the hunting desk manager come into view, immediately giving me some joy. He is well known for speaking his mind to customers due to being on the spectrum, and over the winter, he got a concussion from slipping on the driveway, and ever since he’s been sensitive to both light and loud noise.

Manager: “What’s going on here? I’m getting a headache overhearing it.”

Customer: “These workers are a disgrace! They can’t kee—”

Manager: “So, the guy covered in motor oil coming from the auto department on his way to the bathrooms is a disgrace? Holy s***, lady, the fact that you stopped him and have had him here for this long means he’s now going home to take a f****** shower. [Coworker], go home. I’ll tell your supervisor what happened.”

Customer: “I want to talk to your manager!”

Manager: “Sure thing.”

He then walks behind a rack of goods and then right back out with an evil smirk.

Manager: “Hi, I’m the hunting section supervisor. How can I help you?”

Customer: “You disrespectful b*****d! How dare yo—”

Manager: “Lady, I don’t give a d***. Please leave these two alone and go about your shopping.”

I managed to usher my oil-covered coworker away. I later got the rest of the details from the store’s manager. After I left, the lady started screaming into the hunting desk manager’s face until she left, defeated.

As for the auto department coworker, we went to the garden centre and used a hose to get as much oil off of him as possible before he walked home.

These Shoes Were Made For Calling

, , | Right | July 8, 2021

I answer the phone to a young boy, who inquires about a high-end basketball shoe that basketball teams wear.

Me: “Sorry, our store doesn’t carry that shoe.”

The kid hangs up. Ten minutes later, I answer the phone to the same kid, asking about the same shoe!

Me: “Excuse me, but you called just ten minutes ago.”

Kid: “My mom told me to call back, and speak to a different person.”

Me: “Well, speaking to a different person will not change the fact that we do not carry this shoe.”

Kid: *Click.*

How stupid can parents be?!

Making A Lot Of Noise To Stop A Lot Of Noise

, , , , , , , | Right | May 14, 2021

I stop at the local sporting goods store to get bait. I can hear a commotion before I even go into the store; someone is screaming, threatening, etc.

I get my bait and go to stand in line to check out; I am fourth in line. First in line is this woman who’s literally screaming.

Customer #1: “I’ll sue!”

Customer #1: “I demand…”

Customer #1: “I want…”

Customer #1: “You’d better….”

The poor two employees are trying to calm her down. [Customer #2] in line, a small fellow, turns to us with an index finger up in the “give me a moment” posture, steps out of line, and goes back into the aisles. He returns with an air horn can.

He then blasts the screaming woman with the air horn. She turns to scream at him, and he blasts her again. Every time she opens her mouth, he gives another blast until she storms out of the store, still screaming.

[Customer #2] walks up to the counter, put his purchases down, and hands the air-horn to the checker:

Customer #2: “I hope I didn’t interrupt anything. I just wanted to try this out to make sure it worked; just add it to the rest of my stuff.”

The two employees look at each other.

Employee: “Since it has been used, it is now damaged goods, and we can’t sell it to you. You can keep it, no charge.”

The tension which has built up within the store dissipates and turns to laughter.

Customer # 2: “What was that all about?”

Employee: “We have no idea. She came in like that and we never did understand what the problem was. We sincerely thank you for all of your purchases.”


This story is part of our Best Of May 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of May 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of May 2021 roundup!

Don’t Ever Bat For The Rude Ones

, , , , | Right | November 2, 2020

We have a promotional deal at our sports store that if you bring in an old bat, you get a discount on your new one. However, customers are taking advantage of it and corporate sends out a notice to only allow customers one trade-in.

I have a customer come in with her husband and her son. I am currently working as the door greeter. One of my duties is to intercept the old bats and give the customer a slip for their turn-in.

Me: “Hello! Welcome to [Sports Store]! Do you have a bat trade-in today?”

Customer: “Yes!”

She turns around and grabs a total of four from her husband.

Me: “Unfortunately, ma’am, we are only allowed to do one trade-in.”

Customer: “Are you kidding me?! Why?!”

Me: “That is the policy set in place. I’m sor—”

Customer: *Cuts me off* “Ridiculous! That is so stupid.” 

Me: “I understand, ma’am, but that is our policy. If you’d like, I can get the manager.”

Customer: “Do that.”

I radio the manager and she says that she will be coming up from the back office.

Customer: “What’s to say that don’t I turn in one here and then do the same at all of the other [Sports Store]s in town?”

Me: “Well, it’s on an honor basis, but—”

Customer: *Cuts me off again* “This is so stupid.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but my manager is coming up to speak with you about this.”

Customer: “Yeah, I know. When did y’all even start this?”

At this point, everyone within a ten-foot radius can hear her yelling. My manager still hasn’t come up yet. She interrupts me again as I am trying to explain.

Customer: “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” *Waves me off* 

Me: “Okay, you don’t need to be rude.”

Customer: “Excuse me?!”

I’ve turned my attention to other customers coming in because I’m annoyed with her disrespect toward me. I overhear the customer’s husband ask what happened and she tells him I called her rude.

Customer’s Husband: “Did you really tell my wife that she is rude?!”

Me: “Yes. I did.”

Customer’s Husband: “Wow, so much for customer service. You should work on that.”

Me: “Okay. Great. Thanks.”

My manager comes up and handles the situation, telling her everything I said. The customer yells and gets angry and interrupts my manager the same as she did me. She finally just leaves with her family in tow. My manager leaves to her office and tells me to just shake it off.

Another customer comes up to me and says:

Other Customer: “I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. They were awful. You don’t deserve that. I hope you have a great day.”