Balls To The Walls Confusion

, , , , , | Right | July 31, 2018

(I’m the idiot in this story. I am in a store that sells exercise equipment. I am having trouble finding a particular item, so I track down an employee and ask for help.)

What I Should Say: “Excuse me, sir, I would like to know if you sell yoga balls. I can’t seem to find them.”

(What actually happens:)

Me: “Hey… uh… Do you have balls?”

Employee: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Do you have big balls? I want giant balls.”

Employee: “Uh… I don’t think I can help you with that.”

Me: *thinking I was being very clear* “Okay, thanks, anyway.”

(I left the store and didn’t realize what I had said until I was almost home.)

Not In Receipt Of The Correct Answer

, , , , | Right | October 4, 2017

(I work as a cashier, and have a particularly rude customer in my line.)

Me: “Would you like your receipt with you or in the bag?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “I asked you a question with more than one answer: with you or in the bag?”

Customer: “I said YES!”

Me: “Okay, but I asked a question that doesn’t require a yes or no; it requires an actual choice.”

Customer: “Oh, my God! Just give me the d*** receipt!”

It’s Like He’s Half Awake(boarding)

| Coralville, IA, USA | Right | March 11, 2017

I am on the management team of a large sporting goods store. I also have a neighbor with a boat who lets me come along on occasion to wakeboard.

During one of our wakeboard sessions his buddy tells me that last time he was in my store to buy a wakeboard handle and rope, the cashier thought they were a set and failed to charge him for the handle. I’m thinking this guys is an idiot for admitting this to me, but since I’m a guest on the boat I’ll just call it water under the bridge and not make a stink about it.

Flash forward a few weeks. I’m at work and get called to customer service to approve a return. It’s the buddy, and he’s got the handle that he admitted to me he stole, and he wants to exchange it because the grip is ripping. He even confirms those facts when I ask him specifically if this is handle he admitted to me he didn’t pay for.

Still an idiot.

I kept the handle. He walked away with a blank stare. I don’t get to go wakeboarding any more.

Has No Hang-Ups About Hanging Up

| QLD, Australia | Right | February 25, 2017

(I am serving a customer at the changing rooms in our store. The phone rings and before I can pick it up a customer answers.)

Customer: *on the phone* “No, we can’t help you.” *hangs up the phone*

(The customer then walked away as if nothing had even happened. The customer on the phone called back and abused me for 15 minutes about rude staff hanging up on him.)

Teal Me Something Different

| AL, USA | Right | July 29, 2016

Customer: “Do you carry this brand of hearing protection in pink?”

Me: “No, but we stock these other ones in teal. Those are the only colored ones we carry in that particular style.”

Customer: “I’m a boy. What color is teal?!”

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