Have you ever had the irresistible urge to argue with someone for over an hour over five dollars? I haven’t, either, but I clearly don’t speak for everyone, because one customer at the clothing store where I work did exactly that. I begin this tale directly in the fray, but I become an observer once the assistant manager takes control of the situation.
I am a cashier in a semi-pricey women’s clothing store in a semi-busy mall. I am at the register conducting what I assume to be an ordinary return for a customer. When I hit the button to tender, I see exactly how she will be getting her money back.
Me: “All right, you’re getting back [total] on your [Credit Company] card and five dollars back on a gift card.”
Customer: “Can you put those five dollars on my credit card, instead?”
I get this question often.
Me: “No. Unfortunately, we can only refund you the way you originally paid. Did you use a gift card when you paid for this?”
Customer: “Yes, but you should be able to put it all on my credit card.”
She keeps insisting that I am somehow able to perform a task that I cannot and eventually asks me to call customer service. I swear, “Can you call customer service?” is the new, “Can I speak to the manager?”
I agree to call customer service and see if they can transfer the money over to the customer’s credit card. I am halfway to picking up the phone when our assistant manager walks by.
Manager: “Is everything okay here?”
I fill her in on the situation with the customer interrupting just to restate what I already said.
Manager: “I’ll take over here. You clear out the fitting rooms.”
I go to do my task while keeping an eye on the register. I can hear [Manager] explaining to the customer what we can and cannot do, and she soon calls customer service. While she is on hold with them, she answers the customer’s inane questions. It should be noted that [Manager] has a tendency to call everyone “honey” and “darling.” It’s an adorable plague among the managers at the store.
Customer: *Rudely* “Don’t patronize me.”
Manager: *Confused* “What did I do?”
Customer: “You keep calling me ‘honey’! Stop with the sarcasm!”
Manager: “I’m not being sarcastic; that’s just how I talk. If you want me to stop doing that, I will stop.”
Every time I circle back to the register for clothes to put back, I hear some sort of insult being hurled at [Manager].
Customer: “I don’t know why you had to interfere. The other girl was handling it perfectly.”
I know full well that the only reason the customer thinks I was handling it “perfectly” is because I didn’t stick around long enough for her to find a reason to hate me. Almost half an hour passes with the customer’s verbal abuse at [Manager] only escalating.
My coworker and I keep the store running while the customer forces [Manager] to call internal customer service, hang up when she’s put on hold for more than three minutes, and then call again when she decides she needs customer service again, rinse and repeat. [Manager] looks pissed but keeps her cool. She is clearly past the boiling point.
I will remind you that this is all over five dollars. FIVE DOLLARS.
Manager: “They can put all your money back on your credit card; it will just take a few days to process.”
Customer service has miraculously found a way. All hail our Lord and Savior, Customer Service. Of course, the customer still isn’t satisfied.
Customer: “I want it today! How can I trust that I’ll get my money back? I want a receipt!”
[Manager] chats back with the customer service person on the phone.
Manager: “Ma’am, we can only do it in a few days if you want your money back.”
Customer: “No! I need receipts! It’s been half an hour! You can’t keep me here!”
Manager: “I’m not keeping you here. You can leave anytime you want.”
Customer: “I can’t leave without my money, but you won’t give it to me! I just want to go home!”
Five dollars.
Manager: “And I’m telling you, we can put all your money back on your credit card if you just give it a few days to go through.”
Customer: “You can’t do this to me! I need to go home!”
Five. Dollars.
I keep working for another half an hour to the dreadful chorus of “give me my money back” and “I just want to go home.” The latter sentence sounds like what a child would say to their parent at the mall, but this is a whole grown adult.
Customer: “It has been an hour! Let me leave!”
Five freaking dollars, people.
I think [Manager] has spoken to three different customer service representatives by now. She keeps having to hang up because of the customer’s dissatisfaction. Then, I hear THAT sentence.
Customer: “Aren’t you going to give me compensation for my time? I’ve been here for an hour because you’ve been keeping me here against my will!”
No, no, no. This can’t be.
Manager: “We can’t give you compensation, only your money back.”
Customer: “But you’re not even giving me my money back! I want compensation!”
Fifty-five minutes into the ordeal, [Manager] wrote the customer the least legally binding “receipt” as confirmation that she would indeed receive her FIVE DOLLARS back within a few days. I caught a glimpse. It was akin to a child’s IOU, but the customer seemed satisfied. She did not receive compensation, thank golly.
At long last, the customer walked out the door, yelling something about how we kept her for far too long and that she could finally leave.
On my next shift, I learned from [Manager] that this same customer had also been to another one of our locations where she THREW HER PURSE AT THE STAFF.
We’re crossing our fingers that she gets banned from our stores, but it has been months, and while I haven’t seen her show up again, she is still active on our customer list. The beast is still out there…
